So basically im in my second year at Manchester Met doing a degree in English and i live at home.
My life is at rock bottom, I dont know how i can do all this work i have for uni, my deadlines are looming and im quite behind, on top of this my group seems to be doing everything they can to make me do bad in our group work, i dont know why but they seem to really dislike me.
Ive been very unmotivated this year hardly turning up, because my self confidence is absolutely gone and i find it hard to get up and out of bed in the morning. ive been battling depression unmedicated for a few years but this summer its worsened so much and my anxiety is at an all time high. i dont like the idea of medication or therapy, plus i believe my depression would go if my life got better.
I feel physically unwell, probably due to all this stress/depression/anxiety. i have very little energy and spend 11-12 hours in bed each day/night.
My friends don't really talk to me any more and i havent been out with them for ages, which im not bothered about because they were always going on about me and none of them really liked me anyway which has left me on my own bar one person.
Ive always been fairly quiet but nothing compared to what i am these days i feel as if im empty inside i never have anything to say, apart from to those who ive known for most of my life.
Ive never had a propper gf and girls dont seem to be interested in me, i used to think i was just average looking but now im really starting to just admit to myself that im ugly and i will probably be alone for the rest of my life.
I dont really know what else to say just that im really really fed up with it all, i consider suicide most days but wont do it because of my family. i just dont want to seem like a dissapointment to them. im so stressed, so unhappy, so lonely. i don't know what to do about my uni work, cant bring myself to do it, i asked my group for help which they are supposed to give, but theyre wont and because i missed a lesson they reported me for not being involved enough, they think i dont know what im doing, im not even sure if i do know what im doing.
Im really ready to give up now, i cant just keep going on and on being unhappy and such a failure. does anyone have any advice?