anyone here did access to science please pm me

Looking at your past posts (which i took a look at after the above comment) it does very much look like you need to take a year out and consider what direction you want to go in.

Firstly, you should go and see someone about the depression and alcohol issues you say you have suffered from. Access courses are VERY hard work and if you have depression it may make it worse. Go to your GP and fix what needs fixing.

Secondly once you are better, are seeing things a little clearer and feel much happier, THEN consider what you want to do with your life. Reaply for college and take it from there.

I may sound like a bitch but trust me, i have been there. Starting something as intense as an access course when you a) don't feel mentally well and b) have no idea what you want to do, is only going to write off another year which could have been better spent preparing yourself!