Graduation. Please help.

My parents divorced 6 or so years ago and they really don't get along. My graduation is in July and my Dad asked if he could have 2 tickets. I am fine with him coming along if he brings one of my brothers and it would be a good day out in my uni town. My brother lives with my Mum and stays with my Dad some weekends.

However I just mentioned it to my Mum and she said she wanted to attend. I didn't expect her to want to, to be honest because she doesn't like driving very much and it's quite a long journey for her. If she brought one of my brothers though, she would have to bring the other brother because he is quite young to be at home alone all day and potentially overnight. Potentially something could be worked out but I wouldn't want to leave one of my brothers alone whilst the rest of the household celebrates with me.

I am only guarantueed 2 tickets, I don't think I'll be able to get another one as it's first come first served. My Mum won't go if my Dad is going, and she is really upset and moody that Dad "butted in first". I would rather my Mum went, but my Dad asked first and I told him it would be ok. He also was quite forceful with asking, he said "I would like 2 tickets please" with a sense of finality without asking how many I might be able to get. I think he would be really disappointed and upset with me if I told him that I was just giving the tickets to my Mum instead.

I'm so sad that my graduation has become all about my parents. The worst thing ever would be having to deal with my Mum and my Dad being in the same room, even if it were a massive graduation hall. What should I do?

Reply 1

Original Name

5

Tell them that the day is about you and your achievements and you don't have time to be a mediator between them. They're adults and if they want to come to your graduation they can sort it between themselves and let you know the outcome. Otherwise just give the tickets to your brothers. Seriously not worth the aggravation.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Original Name

Tell them that the day is about you and your achievements and you don't have time to be a mediator between them. They're adults and if they want to come to your graduation they can sort it between themselves and let you know the outcome. Otherwise just give the tickets to your brothers. Seriously not worth the aggravation.

If I say that, my Mum will back down incredibly fast and assume that obviously I just want my Dad and not her. She'll then be really moody with me for ages and bring it up in the future if we ever argue. It makes her sound really bad but she is just really sensitive, and she was the one who looked after me, my Dad cheated on her.

Reply 3

Original Name

5

Original post by Anonymous

If I say that, my Mum will back down incredibly fast and assume that obviously I just want my Dad and not her. She'll then be really moody with me for ages and bring it up in the future if we ever argue. It makes her sound really bad but she is just really sensitive, and she was the one who looked after me, my Dad cheated on her.

Just give a ticket to each of them, tell them to pull it together and focus on the fat you're graduating. They have to understand it's not about their relationship they have to get over it. Even if it means an argument now, if you tell them how you feel now you'll avoid the same problem later on in life. What happens if you get married? Are they not going to attend if the other is there? I've seen this happen before, it's silly and they just need to stop it's not your burden to bear.

Reply 4

Carnationlilyrose

18

Original post by Original Name

Just give a ticket to each of them, tell them to pull it together and focus on the fat you're graduating. They have to understand it's not about their relationship they have to get over it. Even if it means an argument now, if you tell them how you feel now you'll avoid the same problem later on in life. What happens if you get married? Are they not going to attend if the other is there? I've seen this happen before, it's silly and they just need to stop it's not your burden to bear.

I agree, but have used up my rep for the day.

Graduation. Please help.

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