Male 25 - Never had a Girlfriend or Relationship - most depressing :(
Hey, I'm feeling bad about the fact I turn 25 this month and I've never had a relationship or been on an official date with any girl in my life.
I have no friends, no confidence and no life, I work 5 days a week which is something I fight hard to maintain due to the obstacles of anxiety, but apart from work my life is empty, I live at home with parents and I am miserable and anxious all the time, I just somehow keep going
Because of my anxiety, lack of social skills and feelings of inadequacy I am unable to spend a lot of time outside of home (apart from work) and when I do spend time away from home and work, I literally have no friends to see, no one to call and I basically drive around in my car thinking, seeing others having fun and feeling sorry for myself
I am 25 in a few weeks, but I've been like this since I was 17 and it's the reason why I've been in and out of jobs
I really want to change and make progress soon, because I can't be in this same situation at 30 which will happen if I can't change
Please Help Me.
I have no friends, no confidence and no life, I work 5 days a week which is something I fight hard to maintain due to the obstacles of anxiety, but apart from work my life is empty, I live at home with parents and I am miserable and anxious all the time, I just somehow keep going
Because of my anxiety, lack of social skills and feelings of inadequacy I am unable to spend a lot of time outside of home (apart from work) and when I do spend time away from home and work, I literally have no friends to see, no one to call and I basically drive around in my car thinking, seeing others having fun and feeling sorry for myself
I am 25 in a few weeks, but I've been like this since I was 17 and it's the reason why I've been in and out of jobs
I really want to change and make progress soon, because I can't be in this same situation at 30 which will happen if I can't change
Please Help Me.
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Holding the assumption that you are being truthful (and not trolling):
I would recommend seeing a psychotherapist/counsellor regarding the anxiety. It isn't weird to go to one - lots of people use mental health services for anxiety related problems.
Though I'm happy to talk to you about any problems you may have.
I would recommend seeing a psychotherapist/counsellor regarding the anxiety. It isn't weird to go to one - lots of people use mental health services for anxiety related problems.
Though I'm happy to talk to you about any problems you may have.
Original post by hellodave5
Holding the assumption that you are being truthful (and not trolling):
I would recommend seeing a psychotherapist/counsellor regarding the anxiety. It isn't weird to go to one - lots of people use mental health services for anxiety related problems.
Though I'm happy to talk to you about any problems you may have.
I would recommend seeing a psychotherapist/counsellor regarding the anxiety. It isn't weird to go to one - lots of people use mental health services for anxiety related problems.
Though I'm happy to talk to you about any problems you may have.
No I am not trolling
Original post by Anonymous
Hey, I'm feeling bad about the fact I turn 25 this month and I've never had a relationship or been on an official date with any girl in my life.
I have no friends, no confidence and no life, I work 5 days a week which is something I fight hard to maintain due to the obstacles of anxiety, but apart from work my life is empty, I live at home with parents and I am miserable and anxious all the time, I just somehow keep going
Because of my anxiety, lack of social skills and feelings of inadequacy I am unable to spend a lot of time outside of home (apart from work) and when I do spend time away from home and work, I literally have no friends to see, no one to call and I basically drive around in my car thinking, seeing others having fun and feeling sorry for myself
I am 25 in a few weeks, but I've been like this since I was 17 and it's the reason why I've been in and out of jobs
I really want to change and make progress soon, because I can't be in this same situation at 30 which will happen if I can't change
Please Help Me.
I have no friends, no confidence and no life, I work 5 days a week which is something I fight hard to maintain due to the obstacles of anxiety, but apart from work my life is empty, I live at home with parents and I am miserable and anxious all the time, I just somehow keep going
Because of my anxiety, lack of social skills and feelings of inadequacy I am unable to spend a lot of time outside of home (apart from work) and when I do spend time away from home and work, I literally have no friends to see, no one to call and I basically drive around in my car thinking, seeing others having fun and feeling sorry for myself
I am 25 in a few weeks, but I've been like this since I was 17 and it's the reason why I've been in and out of jobs
I really want to change and make progress soon, because I can't be in this same situation at 30 which will happen if I can't change
Please Help Me.
1) Get out of your parents' house. Make that your priority.
2) The internet is a great way to get dates. Granted you will encounter some ****ing morons, but it can turn out nicely sometimes too.
Original post by SnoochToTheBooch
1) Get out of your parents' house. Make that your priority.
2) The internet is a great way to get dates. Granted you will encounter some ****ing morons, but it can turn out nicely sometimes too.
2) The internet is a great way to get dates. Granted you will encounter some ****ing morons, but it can turn out nicely sometimes too.
Do you mean move out completely, or just make more effort to go out more.
I do get out of the house for work, and on the weekends I go out but literally have nothing to do, no one to see and feel too anxious to go out in busy places where people will recognize me, that's because I've not seen them for years, too scared of being judged by them and too scared to talk with them. So when I go out I go to places on my own, such as the gym, to other towns/cities nearby and then return home.
Online dating isn't for me, I know many people have luck but I don't want people seeing me on there who I know, I have no good pictures, and I am not photogenic at all.
Original post by Anonymous
Do you mean move out completely, or just make more effort to go out more.
I do get out of the house for work, and on the weekends I go out but literally have nothing to do, no one to see and feel too anxious to go out in busy places where people will recognize me, that's because I've not seen them for years, too scared of being judged by them and too scared to talk with them. So when I go out I go to places on my own, such as the gym, to other towns/cities nearby and then return home.
Online dating isn't for me, I know many people have luck but I don't want people seeing me on there who I know, I have no good pictures, and I am not photogenic at all.
I do get out of the house for work, and on the weekends I go out but literally have nothing to do, no one to see and feel too anxious to go out in busy places where people will recognize me, that's because I've not seen them for years, too scared of being judged by them and too scared to talk with them. So when I go out I go to places on my own, such as the gym, to other towns/cities nearby and then return home.
Online dating isn't for me, I know many people have luck but I don't want people seeing me on there who I know, I have no good pictures, and I am not photogenic at all.
Move out completely if you can afford it.
Original post by Anonymous
No I am not trolling
See mental health services? That's what they're for.
Original post by SnoochToTheBooch
Move out completely if you can afford it.
I can't afford it, and if I could I'd be even more isolated
Original post by hellodave5
See mental health services? That's what they're for.
Thanks for the advice, as I've been this way since 17 I've already exhausted this option
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for the advice, as I've been this way since 17 I've already exhausted this option
You have been?
deal with your anxiety first.
see some counsellor, stop masturbating, be productive or whatever.
anxiety is your only problem, but it's a condition like anything else and can be treated like so
see some counsellor, stop masturbating, be productive or whatever.
anxiety is your only problem, but it's a condition like anything else and can be treated like so
I'd probably start thinking about you rather than trying to find a girlfriend, do you know the cause if your anxiety? Yoga and mindfulness has helped, along with breathing techniques and grounding exercises set by my counsellor, you might want to try a few different counsellors to find one you can build a rapport with...
If you need to chat just pm me
If you need to chat just pm me
Your success and happiness shouldn't be judged by how many partners you had
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Original post by Anonymous
Hey, I'm feeling bad about the fact I turn 25 this month and I've never had a relationship or been on an official date with any girl in my life.
I have no friends, no confidence and no life, I work 5 days a week which is something I fight hard to maintain due to the obstacles of anxiety, but apart from work my life is empty, I live at home with parents and I am miserable and anxious all the time, I just somehow keep going
Because of my anxiety, lack of social skills and feelings of inadequacy I am unable to spend a lot of time outside of home (apart from work) and when I do spend time away from home and work, I literally have no friends to see, no one to call and I basically drive around in my car thinking, seeing others having fun and feeling sorry for myself
I am 25 in a few weeks, but I've been like this since I was 17 and it's the reason why I've been in and out of jobs
I really want to change and make progress soon, because I can't be in this same situation at 30 which will happen if I can't change
Please Help Me.
I have no friends, no confidence and no life, I work 5 days a week which is something I fight hard to maintain due to the obstacles of anxiety, but apart from work my life is empty, I live at home with parents and I am miserable and anxious all the time, I just somehow keep going
Because of my anxiety, lack of social skills and feelings of inadequacy I am unable to spend a lot of time outside of home (apart from work) and when I do spend time away from home and work, I literally have no friends to see, no one to call and I basically drive around in my car thinking, seeing others having fun and feeling sorry for myself
I am 25 in a few weeks, but I've been like this since I was 17 and it's the reason why I've been in and out of jobs
I really want to change and make progress soon, because I can't be in this same situation at 30 which will happen if I can't change
Please Help Me.
Hello
I have some good advice for you both on the finding a girlfriend front and on the social anxiety front.
I personally have experienced social anxiety in the past when I was younger so I can completely relate to you and how its difficult for you to even go out without worrying about what other people think. The main thing is to overcome that and realise that actually no one is judging you half as much as you think they are.
Secondly you need to find a way to get yourself into social situations which will lead to you making new people. perhaps you could start with people at work - is there anyone at work you feel you would quite like to socialise with perhaps go for a drink with? Not necessarily girls just to broaden your social life and to put yourself into the situation where you would meet new people more frequently.
You NEED to meet new people to get yourself out of the social black hole you describe. Even if this means stepping outside of your comfort zone and joining clubs, getting new hobbies, you need to overcome this feeling of inadequacy if you are going to start dating, meeting new people.
Girlfriend front - All I can say is that from my perspective girls respect CONFIDENCE in a guy. If thats not you naturally don't worry, naturally quiet is fine too but you need to be comfortable in your own skin for someone else to love you.
That cliched saying love yourself first is true. Lift your self esteem in any way you can and the rest should follow on naturally. And don't get too hung up on the fact you are 25 and haven't met anyone yet. I'm sure for the right girl that will be a positive not a negative.
Hope I have helped and good luck xx
(Hug)Original post by shawn_o1
Is there anyone at work that you can talk to? Anyone that you think will be a good listener? If you think you're working under a trigger-happy boss (like a Chelsea manager pre-2013), then seek a new job immediately.
Not really, I work in a busy environment with a lot of people who are two faced, if I tell someone anything they would spread rumors
Awwww ...you seem like such a sweet lovely guy!! At least you have a good paying job? Why not buy a flat/rent and there is always someone out there for you! ! You will definitely meet someone who'll want you! Don't worry try making friends with a girl! You just need confidence- how about asking a girl when's she completely alone?
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try making friends with a girl! You just need confidence- how about asking a girl when's she completely alone?Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by lozasaurus99
Awwww ...you seem like such a sweet lovely guy!! At least you have a good paying job? Why not buy a flat/rent and there is always someone out there for you! ! You will definitely meet someone who'll want you! Don't worry try making friends with a girl! You just need confidence- how about asking a girl when's she completely alone?
Posted from TSR Mobile
try making friends with a girl! You just need confidence- how about asking a girl when's she completely alone?Posted from TSR Mobile
thanks, I don't really have a good paying job though, the NHS pay sucks, I earn just above the minimum wage
Oo ohoh. .really? My brother works at the a&e and does not earn much as a junior Doctor! !! Whereas, this guy who is an investment banker has a salary of £40k and is so busy for a relationship gets prostitutes every weekend:/ but..don't listen to people and register for online dating if you don't want to! There are always ways to meet a girl!!! Like say you go holiday you might meet someone? There's someone out there for everyone! !
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Look there's someone sad enough to make a thread "how do I meet a model" at least you're not like that! !! Cheer up
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