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Swallowing my pride to reconnect with people?

I just got dumped after a 3 year relationship and I realised I made a fatal error of being in a relationship- spent all my time on my boyfriend and drifted out of contact with all my friends. Being naive, I believed this was going to last forever and he was enough for me to spend all my time with and for me to be happy. Obviously now I'm single and I realise I haven't spoken to people who were my friends before for 1/2/3 years. Yes, I know how pathetic this is.

I would feel so awkward now though just messaging someone out of the blue and being all 'hey I know we haven't talked in years but how are you, want to grab a drink?' Because it's rude because I haven't made the effort to talk to them for a while and I know that's bad, but I'm so alone right now :frown:

Also being broken up with has made my self esteem plummet and I believe that no one will want to talk to me or spend any time with me again.

What are people's opinions on this?

{{The rest of this is just extra information if you want to read, but if too long, if you could just help with the question above}}

I went to uni with 80% guys so I didn't really have many female friends. I fell out with some because they started wanting to become BNOCs (their own words) and I'm not into that. There's 2 girls that I've messaged and I see them from time to time now.

The majority of the people I knew at uni were guys. Before I met my boyfriend I was really flirty and the majority of guys I knew and was good friends with I had kissed or fooled around with (I always made it clear though I was not looking for commitment so that no one would be led on). I was always hanging out with people at halls or going to house parties. Would it be appropriate to still message them, or would they think I'm just a slut?

Now I live with my ex far away from anyone I even did know. Most people finished uni so no house parties. The people who have finished uni are bankers and go out to expensive nights out with bottles of champagne- no thank you.

Who do I reach out to? Who would it be least awkward? I have no confidence in myself anymore. I used to have so many friends and people really liked talking to me, I can't believe I let myself get like this.

Reply 1

guppygould

I think you think too much. If people liked talking to you once, they're pretty likely to like it again!

-Leo

Reply 2

Tasha0

In the same position and honestly just swallow your pride and do it!

Apologise for not making an effort and it will seem like you're only talking to them because you feel lonely but if you keep making an effort and they were really your friends in the first place then they'll still want to be friends! Even if they just end up being someone you speak to occasionally it's better than nothing!