He doesn't want to be friends unless we meet up

I reconnected with a guy I dated recently. We went on dates almost 10 years ago (nothing happened). We would talk every so often whilst we were both in relationships. Last year we started to talk more and for a short period we were sleeping together (we were both single at this point).

We stopped talking for months which was initiated by me, I felt like I was falling for him and I knew he wasn't looking for anything serious at the time. I also had alot going on and I needed to focus. He reached out again a while ago. He said he missed our 'friendship' and so did I.

We spoke about everything and what our expectations were as 'friends' and if we both wanted to reconnect. He said he valued our friendship etc. We've pretty much flirted the majority of the time, however I said I didn't want a repeat of last time. He said it was fine, he missed my company. He said he enjoyed the sex, he was still attracted me and would be open to it again (if I was too). I enjoyed it at the time but overtime I really regretted it. It was the wrong time and I kept thinking it happened to early on.

So he's been hinting about coming over, I told him it can't happen right now. He's suggested going out too. I am going through something life changing, which he is aware of and I really want to just focus and get through it.

I wanted to stay friends with him but when I made a joke about not minding us being virtual friends, he wasn't impressed. He said okay and didn't message me again.

I confronted him the other night. He said " I don't want to just be virtual friends, you might but it's not for me". I told him I didn't want to be just virtual friends either, but right now its not possible for us to be anything more.

I didn't think us staying in contact and not meeting up would be an issue. If he had said the same thing to me, I would have been happy to stay friends with him.

I think he is hoping for a part 2, I'm actually open to it once i get through this stage in my life. My friend thinks he might actually like me as more than just a friend and want something more (I don't think so). What are your thoughts?

Reply 1

londonmyst

Sounds like he's only looking for convenient casual sex or a fwb arrangement.
Probably best avoided unless you are willing to meetup whenever he wants sex.

Reply 2

Gelgirl

Original post by londonmyst

Sounds like he's only looking for convenient casual sex or a fwb arrangement.
Probably best avoided unless you are willing to meetup whenever he wants sex.