Share your experience of Oxbridge rejection here**

Coming to terms with Oxbridge rejection is hard. You think you've overcome it, you start enjoying your uni/life, you meet loads of fellow rejects at freshers and feel better about the whole thing.

But then once in a while you're reminded... maybe it's meeting up with old friends from school (who obviously made it into Oxbridge), or your younger sibling applying, or an unsuspecting conversation with your grandparents.

Reminded of the fact that, as toxic and wrong as it is, there's no escaping the fact that in your part of the world, there is only either Oxbridge or University of You Did Alright But It's Not Oxbridge. There is no equivalent of the glory that you so narrowly missed. Excuses don't matter, however valid.

Ok, maybe I shouldn't generalise. But this was my experience and I'm sure hundreds of people every year go through the same thing, more or less.

I don't want words of comfort. I know where that ends up and it never makes me feel better. But please do use this space to share your own experience, get it off your chest, and like me, seek some small comfort in the fact that others have read of your experience.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

got rejected last year, moved on pretty quickly and was ok. then ended up doing really well in a levels and whilst at another uni decided to reapply. just got rejected a second time an hour ago and feeling really awful about it. Im not really enjoying my current uni (have friends at cambridge who love it) and feel like all my work for my alevels was for nothing...not sure how to get over it this time tbh

Reply 2

saffeliza

1

Original post by Anonymous #2

got rejected last year, moved on pretty quickly and was ok. then ended up doing really well in a levels and whilst at another uni decided to reapply. just got rejected a second time an hour ago and feeling really awful about it. Im not really enjoying my current uni (have friends at cambridge who love it) and feel like all my work for my alevels was for nothing...not sure how to get over it this time tbh

i took a gap year to re-apply to oxford and was rejected this morning. it clearly wasn't meant to be, and thats okay!

Original post by saffeliza

i took a gap year to re-apply to oxford and was rejected this morning. it clearly wasn't meant to be, and thats okay!

That’s rough.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

thanks for sharing! what was the hardest part about it for yall?

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous #1

thanks for sharing! what was the hardest part about it for yall?

Hi! Thanks for starting this thread. Personally, the mental gymnastics I've been doing since having been rejected pre-interview by Oxford law have been really tough- wondering whether it was my LNAT, the personal statement, grades or references etc. I'm also in a class with someone who got through to interview and won't stop talking about it, meaning I worry about coming across as bitter if I ask them to leave off for a bit. Having to tell people who helped me submit my application also hurts, because I never know how to respond and for a few days after, anytime it came up I teared up. I'm still waiting on the results of my LNAT and I've asked for feedback (nothing back yet obviously), but this whole application has made me lose confidence in my abilities and I'm now stressing about making decisions about next year. That being said, I don't regret going through the process of applying, and what will be will be.

Reply 6

aloevera4

11

i applied for PPE and was rejected pre-interview. i think what hurt the most is that i never even got a chance to prove myself at an interview - everything i've worked for since year 11 was suddenly over. i'm not going to reapply because i just don't think it's worth it, but i always just imagine how happy i'd be if i got in, you know? of course, i'm happy now, and i never cried over the rejection or anything, but it would've felt so great to make my teachers and family proud. anyway, i really hate the fact that a rejection makes us question our intelligence. i truly do think i'm smart enough (maybe i'm just arrogant), and i really hope other can recognise this about themselves, too. to think that a university is able to make us have so much self-doubt is quite frustrating for some reason, hence why i've been quite nonchalant about this rejection. even still, it sucks but i think i've moved on (for the most part!)

Reply 7

Anonymous #4

Original post by Anonymous #3

Hi! Thanks for starting this thread. Personally, the mental gymnastics I've been doing since having been rejected pre-interview by Oxford law have been really tough- wondering whether it was my LNAT, the personal statement, grades or references etc. I'm also in a class with someone who got through to interview and won't stop talking about it, meaning I worry about coming across as bitter if I ask them to leave off for a bit. Having to tell people who helped me submit my application also hurts, because I never know how to respond and for a few days after, anytime it came up I teared up. I'm still waiting on the results of my LNAT and I've asked for feedback (nothing back yet obviously), but this whole application has made me lose confidence in my abilities and I'm now stressing about making decisions about next year. That being said, I don't regret going through the process of applying, and what will be will be.

I’m in the same position of trying to work out what the reason for rejection could’ve been, overthinking every line of my PS at this point 😭

Rejected from Cambridge med pre int with everything very strong on paper, including a relatively good BMAT score. Speaking to my teachers about it has been especially difficult because their hopes (like mine) were quite high

The teachers who had seen my PS also thought it was good, and the college has refused to give me any feedback, so I’ve really just been going around in circles mentally in a cycle of disappointment and exasperation. The hardest part has been trying not to dwell on it in the midst of mocks and other interviews but it’s something I keep coming back to icl - having thought about the prospect of studying at Cambridge for so long, it’s hard to accept that it won’t be happening.

Reply 8

Anonymous #5

I was accepted to cambridge but for a subject I kinda don't love. I was being a pussy and should have applied for what I really wanted to, even though i knew i wouldn't get into oxbridge for it. So if you got rejected from oxbridge for a subject you actually want to do, be glad you weren't an idiot pussy like me, and you're at least studying what you want to. Also some oxbridge subjects the first 2 years like don't matter AT ALL but you still have loads of pressure which is super dumb

Reply 9

Ghostlady

21

Daughter had the GCSE grades, predicted A*'s and did loads of extracuriculars including UNIQ at Oxford in 2019. Got to interviews, and then came the no in 2020. She had already had her offers from other universities. She had a few days to grieve, be angry, upset, frustrated with what had happened, and then we whisked her away to her other choice uni, Lancaster. Walking round the city and the campus, it really helped get over Oxford, and she was more optimistic. We watched you tube student vlogs on Lancaster and it did help loads. Then COVID happened.
Knowing her, she didnt sit still. She went on facebook and got in contact with the unis freshers group page, then got added to the snapchats and whatapp groups, and she ended up with a physics group which by the summer of 2020 there was a group of 10 of them and they took it in turns to host a weekly quiz on teams.
She even met up with some of them in August of 2020 on a visit there, and by the end of September, she had some great friends in her subject whom she could chat to on line and go out on walks (there was restrictions back then). She purposely chose a flat of 12 so she could meet as many people as possible wihout breaking the rules lol.
Because of the Oxford rejection, she was determined to make the most of her uni. By end of michaelmas term she was already badgering her supervisor for an internship. Because they dont usually offer a paid one for first years she got a voluntary one remotely for 2 weeks in the summer. She got a paid one in the second year too.
Third year she stayed on campus (they allow it at lancaster which you can pay weekly rent) and she worked in the city to pay for her time in the summer so she could stay close to her friends, and her boyfriend. Shes in 4th year now, and those internships are in a specific field in particle physics, and they have come in handy in support for her application for her phds this year. Without going to lancaster, she would not have had the same opportunties, and had she had gone to Oxford, she might have gone in a different direction. She also admits that had she had done the same course but at Oxford, the intensity would have given her burnout, so its a relief to her that she had that 'me' time to herself to unwind.
Shes still friends with some of the physics quiz team from 2020, and shes met her pub quiz friends who are in various years at uni and they are her friends for life. Again she said if she had stayed at Oxford, she would have been that scared of failiure she would have locked herself in her room studying away and not getting out much. Also the Oxford students spent a third of their time at home due to covid rules the uni imposed, and Lancaster had allowed their students back if they had no study space (which she didnt have).

Im so glad she chose where she did. For one, only moving her stuff in and out to storage once a year is great lol .
I know come this summer ill be the proud mum when I hear the trumpets in the great hall and she goes on stage on graduation day. I just got fingers crossed now she gets the phd and the funding. Shes applying to Manchester, Lancaster, Liverpool and Sheffield, and hoping on Manchester which is near her b/f and other friends who live there.

Anyone whos had recent rejection I would definitely advise to have a)time to feel those emotions over these next few days. b) talk to people whether its your friends, or family member, dont bottle it up. c) visit the other unis or at least go back to the websites, research the city, watch vlogs from study tubers etc. d) join the freshers groups on social media when they come out.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous #3

Hi! Thanks for starting this thread. Personally, the mental gymnastics I've been doing since having been rejected pre-interview by Oxford law have been really tough- wondering whether it was my LNAT, the personal statement, grades or references etc. I'm also in a class with someone who got through to interview and won't stop talking about it, meaning I worry about coming across as bitter if I ask them to leave off for a bit. Having to tell people who helped me submit my application also hurts, because I never know how to respond and for a few days after, anytime it came up I teared up. I'm still waiting on the results of my LNAT and I've asked for feedback (nothing back yet obviously), but this whole application has made me lose confidence in my abilities and I'm now stressing about making decisions about next year. That being said, I don't regret going through the process of applying, and what will be will be.

I FEEL YOU. That must have been tough because you must have had to go to school and revise for A-levels and stuff while you were still processing the rejection right? The thing about telling other people as well... brought out the most unpleasant emotions in me. Personally, it was just as bad hearing when people got in (if that makes me sound petty, well at least I'm honest lol) and you get a sinking feeling of jealousy and humiliation as you have to tell them you didn't.

I 100% agree that the uncertainty lack of transparency is possibly the worst part of it all, like at least give us some closure???

Glad to hear you don't regret applying though. Neither do I, and I think it's something we can kind of anchor our turmoil of feelings to when we get into a spiral of these thoughts!

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by aloevera4

i applied for PPE and was rejected pre-interview. i think what hurt the most is that i never even got a chance to prove myself at an interview - everything i've worked for since year 11 was suddenly over. i'm not going to reapply because i just don't think it's worth it, but i always just imagine how happy i'd be if i got in, you know? of course, i'm happy now, and i never cried over the rejection or anything, but it would've felt so great to make my teachers and family proud. anyway, i really hate the fact that a rejection makes us question our intelligence. i truly do think i'm smart enough (maybe i'm just arrogant), and i really hope other can recognise this about themselves, too. to think that a university is able to make us have so much self-doubt is quite frustrating for some reason, hence why i've been quite nonchalant about this rejection. even still, it sucks but i think i've moved on (for the most part!)

Sorry to hear that, it does seem unreal doesn't it, the amount of power that one university can yield on our individual lives?? I'm sorry especially to hear about having to question your intelligence, people will tell you it doesn't matter but it's hard to get these things completely out of your head ☹️

Reply 12

Anonymous #6

Original post by Anonymous #2

got rejected last year, moved on pretty quickly and was ok. then ended up doing really well in a levels and whilst at another uni decided to reapply. just got rejected a second time an hour ago and feeling really awful about it. Im not really enjoying my current uni (have friends at cambridge who love it) and feel like all my work for my alevels was for nothing...not sure how to get over it this time tbh

How do you reapply at another uni?

Reply 13

TypicalNerd

18

Original post by Anonymous #1

Coming to terms with Oxbridge rejection is hard. You think you've overcome it, you start enjoying your uni/life, you meet loads of fellow rejects at freshers and feel better about the whole thing.

But then once in a while you're reminded... maybe it's meeting up with old friends from school (who obviously made it into Oxbridge), or your younger sibling applying, or an unsuspecting conversation with your grandparents.

Reminded of the fact that, as toxic and wrong as it is, there's no escaping the fact that in your part of the world, there is only either Oxbridge or University of You Did Alright But It's Not Oxbridge. There is no equivalent of the glory that you so narrowly missed. Excuses don't matter, however valid.

Ok, maybe I shouldn't generalise. But this was my experience and I'm sure hundreds of people every year go through the same thing, more or less.

I don't want words of comfort. I know where that ends up and it never makes me feel better. But please do use this space to share your own experience, get it off your chest, and like me, seek some small comfort in the fact that others have read of your experience.

Rejection sucks - no matter which uni it is by.

I remember my first attempt at applying to Oxford in December 2021. I had recently had a family bereavement and wasn’t well-prepared for my interviews. I was rejected post-interview and my feedback indicated that my performance in the interviews was what let me down.

Nevertheless, I took a gap year and was methodical about how I prepared. Despite many blunders in my second round of interviews, I did a much better job of keeping my wits about me and refining my answers in light of new information. Despite being ill with flu and convinced I’d be rejected, I was pleasantly surprised with an open offer from Queen’s college and have now started my first year at St John’s.

It is definitely possible to land yourself a place if you have previously been rejected, so if you are convinced Oxford/Cambridge is for you and you want to reapply, go for it! But Oxford and Cambridge aren’t the be all and end all and there are plenty of stories of those who were redirected from Oxbridge unis finding themselves happy at other universities and making friends there who they wouldn’t trade for the world. Whatever the outcome of your application to Oxford or Cambridge, you are highly intelligent and have a great deal of potential - use it well and wisely and hopefully you will go on to be a roaring success wherever you end up.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous #4

I’m in the same position of trying to work out what the reason for rejection could’ve been, overthinking every line of my PS at this point 😭

Rejected from Cambridge med pre int with everything very strong on paper, including a relatively good BMAT score. Speaking to my teachers about it has been especially difficult because their hopes (like mine) were quite high

The teachers who had seen my PS also thought it was good, and the college has refused to give me any feedback, so I’ve really just been going around in circles mentally in a cycle of disappointment and exasperation. The hardest part has been trying not to dwell on it in the midst of mocks and other interviews but it’s something I keep coming back to icl - having thought about the prospect of studying at Cambridge for so long, it’s hard to accept that it won’t be happening.

Thank you for sharing your story. I understand that talking to teachers and all these other people meant to support you can actually add and not take away from the pain, especially in this period right after rejection. With medicine I imagine you have interviews for all universities, so all due respect for pushing yourself through them even with everything going on. Please don't blame yourself for still thinking about Cambridge, it's only natural and happens to the best of us. As someone who is now at another university, I will be honest and say I still think about it sometimes too, but in a bitter-sweet way if anything. Yes, sweet too. Year 12 is one of the hardest years of your life and you're going through it now so no wonder it's difficult. It's also your last year at school and some day it will all be tinged in nostalgia. Hope you get your feedback letter though - mine came very late and only after I sent them an email months later.

Reply 15

Anonymous #7

Original post by Anonymous #1

thanks for sharing! what was the hardest part about it for yall?

Oh boy. It was hard to be around my friends who got interviews when I didn't and then got in, albeit for different subjects. It was hard to realise it was something I wanted. It was hard trying to differentiate it from my own self worth and hard to remind myself that I am still a good student. I still did good, I tried, y'know? I don't want anyone to think I'm any less smart or capable. I am. I really am. But it's hard. I applied for Physics and Oxford and did about average on the entrance exam. Considering the minimal support I was given I am proud of myself. But I'm worried this isn't really something to be proud of.
If I didn't feel so alone in this I think that would be better. Hence why I'm on this thread.
Got some of the classic "what could I have done differently" thoughts but I'm getting bored of them. I don't want to be sad about this forever. I was very disappointed and that's ok. I might still feel bad about this for a while. It was important. But the little bit of defiance in me refuses to let this stop me from doing great. So yeah. Weird feelings.

Reply 16

Anonymous #7

Original post by aloevera4

i applied for PPE and was rejected pre-interview. i think what hurt the most is that i never even got a chance to prove myself at an interview - everything i've worked for since year 11 was suddenly over. i'm not going to reapply because i just don't think it's worth it, but i always just imagine how happy i'd be if i got in, you know? of course, i'm happy now, and i never cried over the rejection or anything, but it would've felt so great to make my teachers and family proud. anyway, i really hate the fact that a rejection makes us question our intelligence. i truly do think i'm smart enough (maybe i'm just arrogant), and i really hope other can recognise this about themselves, too. to think that a university is able to make us have so much self-doubt is quite frustrating for some reason, hence why i've been quite nonchalant about this rejection. even still, it sucks but i think i've moved on (for the most part!)

This makes me feel very seen. Similarly, I wish I had gotten an interview, partly because I do believe I would've done good (although I fear I may be bordering on arrogance rather than confidence) and partly because I would've loved to talk about my subject. It would've felt so great and instead it feels weird.
I think I'm smart. I care. I don't know- I just know that I really like what I applied for and I don't regret trying.
And although I'm a completely anonymous person who does not know who you are, I'm very sure that you're smart. And at the very least your worth is based on so much greater things than whether you got in or not (though I'm sure you know this)

:smile:

Reply 17

NoRJoke112233

10

Original post by Anonymous #1

Coming to terms with Oxbridge rejection is hard. You think you've overcome it, you start enjoying your uni/life, you meet loads of fellow rejects at freshers and feel better about the whole thing.

But then once in a while you're reminded... maybe it's meeting up with old friends from school (who obviously made it into Oxbridge), or your younger sibling applying, or an unsuspecting conversation with your grandparents.

Reminded of the fact that, as toxic and wrong as it is, there's no escaping the fact that in your part of the world, there is only either Oxbridge or University of You Did Alright But It's Not Oxbridge. There is no equivalent of the glory that you so narrowly missed. Excuses don't matter, however valid.

Ok, maybe I shouldn't generalise. But this was my experience and I'm sure hundreds of people every year go through the same thing, more or less.

I don't want words of comfort. I know where that ends up and it never makes me feel better. But please do use this space to share your own experience, get it off your chest, and like me, seek some small comfort in the fact that others have read of your experience.

To everyone here, keep in mind you still have another 4 shots at Oxbridge. 2 for a Masters, and 2 for a PHD if you want them (as you can apply to both for postgrad). I got rejected too for physics this year, but there's still another shot. I know some people who took a gap year and got accepted the next year, though I also know some who got rejected then as well. Point is, it's not the end. Anyway, you can probably apply to other top unis if u can apply to these, so u should still have a shot at a great future. Good luck to you all, whatever your decision.

Reply 18

Anonymous #8

Original post by aloevera4

i applied for PPE and was rejected pre-interview. i think what hurt the most is that i never even got a chance to prove myself at an interview - everything i've worked for since year 11 was suddenly over. i'm not going to reapply because i just don't think it's worth it, but i always just imagine how happy i'd be if i got in, you know? of course, i'm happy now, and i never cried over the rejection or anything, but it would've felt so great to make my teachers and family proud. anyway, i really hate the fact that a rejection makes us question our intelligence. i truly do think i'm smart enough (maybe i'm just arrogant), and i really hope other can recognise this about themselves, too. to think that a university is able to make us have so much self-doubt is quite frustrating for some reason, hence why i've been quite nonchalant about this rejection. even still, it sucks but i think i've moved on (for the most part!)