Mind full or mindful?: TLG's mindfulness blog!

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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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:woo:

OK so I need to admit to stealing that pun off someone else - I didn't invent it myself :getmecoat:

So here's the thing. I'm **** at mindfulness. Like, really ****. **** to the point that the more traditional forms of mindfulness (e.g. breathing exercises/meditation) are REALLY triggering for my psychosis I really like mindfulness colouring though and have some colouring books and a faith journal of Bible and saints' quotes written out in Disney font, that I doodle around/colour in :jebus:

ITT, Imma attempt to join various TSRians in their quests to be a bit more mindful, by taking part in the 30 Day Mindfulness Challenge Each day, towards the end of the day, I will try and write a brief reflection encompassing the following things where possible/appropriate:


  • What I'm grateful for today
  • A random act of kindness I've done
  • A random act of kindness someone has done for me
  • Things I did well
  • Something I could improve on
  • What I've achieved today
  • What I've done to look after my mental health
  • Something I have to look forward to



I hope people will be willing to cheer me on, coz it's not gonna come naturally/easily to me My therapist is gonna be mega-chuffed that I'm doing this though :awesome:

TLG
(Location: High on a hill)

:grouphugs:

:woo:
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Deyesy
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(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
:woo:

OK so I need to admit to stealing that pun off someone else - I didn't invent it myself :getmecoat:

So here's the thing. I'm **** at mindfulness. Like, really ****. **** to the point that the more traditional forms of mindfulness (e.g. breathing exercises/meditation) are REALLY triggering for my psychosis I really like mindfulness colouring though and have some colouring books and a faith journal of Bible and saints' quotes written out in Disney font, that I doodle around/colour in :jebus:

ITT, Imma attempt to join various TSRians in their quests to be a bit more mindful, by taking part in the 30 Day Mindfulness Challenge Each day, towards the end of the day, I will try and write a brief reflection encompassing the following things where possible/appropriate:


  • What I'm grateful for today
  • A random act of kindness I've done
  • A random act of kindness someone has done for me
  • Things I did well
  • Something I could improve on
  • What I've achieved today
  • What I've done to look after my mental health
  • Something I have to look forward to




I hope people will be willing to cheer me on, coz it's not gonna come naturally/easily to me My therapist is gonna be mega-chuffed that I'm doing this though :awesome:

TLG
(Location: High on a hill)

:grouphugs:

:woo:
I have to say you're winning the award for the best thread title so far
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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(Original post by Deyesy)
I have to say you're winning the award for the best thread title so far
:teehee:
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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BACKGROUND CONTEXT

I think most people who frequent this forum know my story but to briefly give a bit of context to my doing the 30 days mindfulness challenge:

1. I'm an (almost) life-long voice hearer. I started hearing voices aged about 5 (I'm now 28)

2. I developed psychosis at my first uni (though it went undiagnosed for quite a while), where a lot of traumatic things happened to me. I was eventually diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, depressive type. Put crudely, schizoaffective disorder is a mixture of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. It affects about 0.5% or 1 in 200 of the British population. It involves paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations, as well as mood disorder (either mania, depression or mixed - a combo of the two). My most common symptoms are hearing voices, and experiencing depressive episodes.

3. My diagnosis is currently somewhat under review in that everyone appears to think it's wrong but no one's talking openly about it :erm: This is because I went to my psychiatrist and said that I experience life via 5 different personalities and I wanted her to diagnose and tell me what this was. She palmed me off to the psychology team :lol:

4. I've been in NHS therapy three times, mostly recently from late August-present day. In 2011 I had 9 months of CBT, and then 9 months of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, which is based on mindfulness practice) from 2014-15. Neither these nor the meds are really working, hence therapy for the third time. I'm currently doing schema therapy


SO WHAT'S THE BENEFIT IN DOING MINDFULNESS, WITH THESE SYMPTOMS/CONDITIONS?

As a result of my difficult experiences during my first degree, I spend a lot of time ruminating on/reliving the past. Despite my best solo attempts to move forward, I cannot. Mindfulness, obviously, has a particular focus on spending time in the present, rather than the past or future, and this is something that would benefit me greatly

Also, before I became this ill, I was generally an optimistic person. It would be nice to get that back
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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DAY 1 - 19TH DECEMBER 2016

What I'm grateful for today

Today I am grateful for aviation. Sounds like a weird one but occasionally when I sit down and think about it, it's amazing how vast the world is and yet how accessible it all is too!

My sister is flying from the USA back home tonight (overnight flight), hence these thoughts :moon:


A random act of kindness I've done

I haven't done any :getmecoat:


A random act of kindness someone has done for me

A friend who I haven't heard from in a while emailed me unexpectedly to wish me a Merry Christmas :yay:


Things I did well

The temptation is to say "nothing" but I guess I've done well not to scream at my mum today (despite wanting to do so the whole day)


Something I could improve on

My attitude in general :getmecoat:


What I've achieved today

Again, temptation is to say "nothing" but I've tidied my room as much as I can, so I guess that's something :dontknow:


What I've done to look after my mental health

Not much tbh :cry:


Something I have to look forward to

My sister arriving tomorrow morning :ahee:
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jessyjellytot14
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Hi, nice start to your blog!
I really like aviation as well- it's nice watching planes fly over at night when there's a clear sky. I also may or may not have a flight radar app on my phone so I can see where they are flying from and where they are going to. :mmm:
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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(Original post by jessyjellytot14)
Hi, nice start to your blog!
I really like aviation as well- it's nice watching planes fly over at night when there's a clear sky. I also may or may not have a flight radar app on my phone so I can see where they are flying from and where they are going to. :mmm:
Wow, I didn't know there were such apps. Mind blown! :headfire:

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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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DAY 2 - 20TH DECEMBER 2016

What I'm grateful for today

Today I am grateful for:

1. My sister arriving safely in the UK :awesome:
2. Being able to get out of the flat to meet up with some volunteering buddies


A random act of kindness I've done

I offered to pay for a friend's drink but she didn't let me do that :sad: Don't think I've done anything else that kind today :nope:

Oh that's a lie actually: I accepted a parcel on behalf of a neighbour and made sure they got it safely the same day


A random act of kindness someone has done for me

I received some more Christmas cards today, including for a friend who I haven't seen at all in 2016


Things I did well

Again, not lashing out at family or acting out on unkind thoughts towards them


Something I could improve on

Again: my attitude in general :getmecoat:


What I've achieved today

Bought some more Christmas presents


What I've done to look after my mental health

I got out of the flat


Something I have to look forward to

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep :moon:
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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DAY 3 - 21ST DECEMBER 2016

What I'm grateful for today

Today I am grateful for:

1. Having a few hours of quality alone time, to get some work done and just have a breather from all the cleaning
2. The fact that my mum is bringing my favourite food ever home from a restaurant in Hounslow :bhangra:
3. Christmas music. All together now: "especially for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" :love: :moon: :flute:


A random act of kindness I've done

Don't think I've done anything today tbh :getmecoat:


A random act of kindness someone has done for me

See aforementioned point about my mum bringing my fave food home


Things I did well

Again, not lashing out at family or acting out on unkind thoughts towards them


Something I could improve on

I want to truly feel in the Christmas mood, rather than faking it to try and buoy myself along :sad:


What I've achieved today

More tidying with the family


What I've done to look after my mental health

Got some decent sleep, and had some quality 'me' time. Also did some uni work so that I can get a bit ahead with things


Something I have to look forward to

Dinner :drool:
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CheeseIsVeg
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(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
DAY 3 - 21ST DECEMBER 2016

What I'm grateful for today

Today I am grateful for:

1. Having a few hours of quality alone time, to get some work done and just have a breather from all the cleaning
2. The fact that my mum is bringing my favourite food ever home from a restaurant in Hounslow :bhangra:
3. Christmas music. All together now: "especially for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" :love: :moon: :flute:


A random act of kindness I've done

Don't think I've done anything today tbh :getmecoat:


A random act of kindness someone has done for me

See aforementioned point about my mum bringing my fave food home


Things I did well

Again, not lashing out at family or acting out on unkind thoughts towards them


Something I could improve on

I want to truly feel in the Christmas mood, rather than faking it to try and buoy myself along :sad:


What I've achieved today

More tidying with the family


What I've done to look after my mental health

Got some decent sleep, and had some quality 'me' time. Also did some uni work so that I can get a bit ahead with things


Something I have to look forward to

Dinner :drool:
Best. Title. Ever!!!!!!!!!!!! :awesome:
Loving the blog so far! :hugs: Keep up the good stuff and the me time :yy:
:jumphug:
Spoiler:
Show

P.S I didn't know your story and wanted to say that you're absolutely amazing :cube: I really hope you retrieve optimism again
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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(Original post by CheeseIsVeg)
Best. Title. Ever!!!!!!!!!!!! :awesome:
Loving the blog so far! :hugs: Keep up the good stuff and the me time :yy:
:jumphug:
Spoiler:
Show

P.S I didn't know your story and wanted to say that you're absolutely amazing :cube: I really hope you retrieve optimism again
Awww thank you

:hugs:

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CheeseIsVeg
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(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
Awww thank you

:hugs:

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:penguinhug: Have a fab day!
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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(Original post by CheeseIsVeg)
:penguinhug: Have a fab day!
You too!
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wolfmoon88
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Anonymous #1
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Whoop whoop! Can't wait to read more. I had really bad depression, and my mum was going through things about a year ago. I'm not 100% "cured", but I feel better than I've felt in months! I hope the same goes for you ^-^
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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(Original post by wolfmoon88)
Subscribed



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Thankies

(Original post by Anonymous)
Whoop whoop! Can't wait to read more. I had really bad depression, and my mum was going through things about a year ago. I'm not 100% "cured", but I feel better than I've felt in months! I hope the same goes for you ^-^
So glad you are feeling much better - I hope you continue to feel like progress is being made in 2017 :yep: Thanks for reading
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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DAY 4 - 22ND DECEMBER 2016

What I'm grateful for today

Today I am grateful for:

1. My dinner last night, which was epic win at life (especially coz I had some more for lunch today :smug: )
2. The fact that the cleaning and tidying is nearly over. The end is in sight! :horse:
3. The fact my mood is less difficult to manage


A random act of kindness I've done

I've not really been out and about much recently, so haven't really done anything. Need to get better on this front


A random act of kindness someone has done for me

My sister took the heavier end of some lifting that needed to be done, so that I wouldn't get too tired!


Things I did well

My attitude has really improved since yesterday morning. I feel more content and just able to relax a bit more and manage my emotions better

Also not sure if I mentioned it yesterday but yesterday I skim-read like 8 chapters of a book :smug:


Something I could improve on

I could really do more cleaning if I put my mind to it. Just being a bit lazy atm :ninja:


What I've achieved today

Again, more tidying with the family. We rearranged my room so now I have a "double-desk" (two desks sat next to each other)


What I've done to look after my mental health

Tried to take some time out and treat myself with little pick-me-ups


Something I have to look forward to

My dad is returning from Sri Lanka tomorrow so that should hopefully be nice (if he doesn't lose his temper with us about all the cleaning we've done)
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furryface12
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This is all really good! Glad you're feeling a bit better :hugs:
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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(Original post by furryface12)
This is all really good! Glad you're feeling a bit better :hugs:
Thanks, lovely
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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DAY 5 - 23RD DECEMBER 2016

What I'm grateful for today

Today I am grateful for:

1. Seeing two schoolfriends for the first time in a very long time :grouphugs:
2. Being able to (just about probs, lol) afford my very nice but expensive lunch with them
3. The fact it's not too cold atm! I hate cold weather but not needing gloves atm :yeah:


A random act of kindness I've done

Um, still think I haven't done anything :facepalm:


A random act of kindness someone has done for me

My volunteering boss emailed me to thank me for all I did! She probs sent the same message round everyone but it felt personalised

Also my friend got me bday and Christmas presents :awesome:


Things I did well

I went to Covent Garden and didn't spontaneously combust! To be fair, it wasn't as crazy busy as I was expecting


Something I could improve on

Really ought to tidy my desk and clothes tbh :erm:


What I've achieved today

Not much but seeing friends counts as an achievement, right?


What I've done to look after my mental health

Treated myself to a good meal, saw friends, and having some 'me' time now


Something I have to look forward to

Nearly Christmas :dance:
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