Am I really a narcissist?
I know I'm going to get ripped into for making this post, but I'm curious as to what all of you believe.
So I've been told on a fair few occasions that I'm a narcissist - both jokingly and seriously but I'm not convinced. From what I gather, this is largely as a result of thinking I'm good looking, far more intelligent than most, and generally on my way to a very successful career.
But here's what I don't understand - what if I am all of those things? As someone who's studied maths at Oxford I tend to view things in a very objective and logical manner - and objectively I am all of those things. I'm not just good at maths though, I have an interest in a whole host of subjects and am a talented artist.
As for looks, I'm tall (6'3"), athletic, have a 6-pack etc....and am considered very good looking. I've never struggled to pull on a night out and women practically throw themselves at me. Even me saying this will come across I'm sure as narcissistic and yet I'm simply stating a fact.
So my question is, is it still narcissistic if it's true? And if so, why is simply being objective about your current position considered a bad thing?
So I've been told on a fair few occasions that I'm a narcissist - both jokingly and seriously but I'm not convinced. From what I gather, this is largely as a result of thinking I'm good looking, far more intelligent than most, and generally on my way to a very successful career.
But here's what I don't understand - what if I am all of those things? As someone who's studied maths at Oxford I tend to view things in a very objective and logical manner - and objectively I am all of those things. I'm not just good at maths though, I have an interest in a whole host of subjects and am a talented artist.
As for looks, I'm tall (6'3"), athletic, have a 6-pack etc....and am considered very good looking. I've never struggled to pull on a night out and women practically throw themselves at me. Even me saying this will come across I'm sure as narcissistic and yet I'm simply stating a fact.
So my question is, is it still narcissistic if it's true? And if so, why is simply being objective about your current position considered a bad thing?
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Probably - Considered a bad thing cos ur supposed to be humble about success and good fortune
Gotta tell ya though, if a person has an oxford maths degree, is extremely attractive and has a high flying life, why does one need or even care to ask this poorly framed question?
Like a girl on facebook who has to tell the world how happy and strong and secure she is every 5 minutes, she is none of those things
Gotta tell ya though, if a person has an oxford maths degree, is extremely attractive and has a high flying life, why does one need or even care to ask this poorly framed question?
Like a girl on facebook who has to tell the world how happy and strong and secure she is every 5 minutes, she is none of those things
Original post by Betelgeuse-
Probably - Considered a bad thing cos ur supposed to be humble about success and good fortune
Gotta tell ya though, if a person has an oxford maths degree, is extremely attractive and has a high flying life, why does one need or even care to ask this poorly framed question?
Like a girl on facebook who has to tell the world how happy and strong and secure she is every 5 minutes, she is none of those things
Gotta tell ya though, if a person has an oxford maths degree, is extremely attractive and has a high flying life, why does one need or even care to ask this poorly framed question?
Like a girl on facebook who has to tell the world how happy and strong and secure she is every 5 minutes, she is none of those things
The thing is though, in day to day life I don't go around saying how great I am. If someone asks me a question though, I'm not going to lie - I will say it how I see it. I do see where you're coming from in terms of me lacking humility etc... But that is a very different type of 'bad' than the type of bad people imply given narcissism is technically considered some sort of mental disorder.
As for your second question, I'm asking this question out of curiosity. I'm not particularly bothered by it, but given I've been called one a number of times it's only reasonable that I might go to the effort to post a simple question about it. Furthermore, I don't see quite how having studied maths at Oxford, being successful etc....should prevent me from having an inquisitive questioning mind? If anything it probably increases the chances of thinking in such a manner. As for it being a "poorly framed question", I studied maths not English. I don't see the relevance really.
All that said, I appreciate your response though so thank you
You're 6'3 and with an Oxford maths degree? You have a right to be a narcissist tbh.
Original post by Joinedup
I would guess you're going on about yourself too much which has becoming annoying to your friends. Try changing the subject occasionally perhaps finding areas of mutual interest to discuss with other people rather than talking about yourself continually.
/agony auntie
/agony auntie
I mean, I can't argue that that's sound advice but I don't honestly think I do go on about myself. I'm very confident in talking to people, both people I know and don't know, and if anything I tend to ask them a lot of questions. I don't hide my achievements though if someone asks, so I suppose it could be that.
Its all good, got to love yourself first. 
Narcissism is more than just being very pleased with your own looks and abilities. It is about overblown self-importance, selfishness and taking advantage of others, excessive need for others to admire you, and a lack of understanding/ caring about other people's feelings. If you have traits like this, then you may be a narcissist.
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Original post by Steljoy
Its all good, got to love yourself first.
Thanks, and you raise a good point actually. Why is narcissism considered such a bad thing when we're constantly being told to love ourselves? And why is it not considered narcissistic when you have these large women saying how big and beautiful they are? I'm all for thinking your beautiful/amazing etc...but why is that not narcissism and yet someone with a genuinely good body saying they love their body is?
Original post by BringMoreCoffee
Narcissism is more than just being very pleased with your own looks and abilities. It is about overblown self-importance, selfishness and taking advantage of others, excessive need for others to admire you, and a lack of understanding/ caring about other people's feelings. If you have traits like this, then you may be a narcissist.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
If this is the case then I really do think people are incorrectly calling me a narcissist. I'm not selfish, nor do I take advantage of others - I'm far to honest and direct to ever be manipulative! Haha I care about a lot of people and their feelings but must admit I sometimes struggle to understand emotional irrationality. But I try, and I do care.
As for overblown self-importance - ironically I think in the grand scheme of things none of us matter one bit. Perhaps that's my atheistic, scientific perspective shining through. If you mean relative to others, then I would say I just hold a realistic viewpoint - I sit where I sit on the normal distribution and the majority sit below me, and a minority above me.
Original post by thefreakoffreaks
You're 6'3 and with an Oxford maths degree? You have a right to be a narcissist tbh.
I know right!? Haha
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks, and you raise a good point actually. Why is narcissism considered such a bad thing when we're constantly being told to love ourselves? And why is it not considered narcissistic when you have these large women saying how big and beautiful they are? I'm all for thinking your beautiful/amazing etc...but why is that not narcissism and yet someone with a genuinely good body saying they love their body is?
Why is narcissism considered such a bad thing when we're constantly being told to love ourselves?
I think it is not bad at all!
There are levels of narcissism i'd say, I mean personally I would consider myself narcissistic since I just love myself and I think I am great. As long as I don't run around repeating that to everyone it should be the good level of narcissism.
The bad level of narcissism is when someone says: "Oh my god this guy is so full of himself, He just keeps talking about how good he is and I don't like it"
And why is it not considered narcissistic when you have these large women saying how big and beautiful they are?
It is still narcissism but at a higher level i'd say, depends on how much they mention it. If someone goes on and on about how beautiful they are people will start to develop a dislike for that person.
I'm all for thinking your beautiful/amazing etc...but why is that not narcissism and yet someone with a genuinely good body saying they love their body is?
Once again loving yourself in my opinion is narcissism but when it gets excessive it is annoying and people dislike it. But if you keep it at a good level then why not!
Original post by Steljoy
Why is narcissism considered such a bad thing when we're constantly being told to love ourselves?
I think it is not bad at all!
There are levels of narcissism i'd say, I mean personally I would consider myself narcissistic since I just love myself and I think I am great. As long as I don't run around repeating that to everyone it should be the good level of narcissism.
The bad level of narcissism is when someone says: "Oh my god this guy is so full of himself, He just keeps talking about how good he is and I don't like it"
And why is it not considered narcissistic when you have these large women saying how big and beautiful they are?
It is still narcissism but at a higher level i'd say, depends on how much they mention it. If someone goes on and on about how beautiful they are people will start to develop a dislike for that person.
I'm all for thinking your beautiful/amazing etc...but why is that not narcissism and yet someone with a genuinely good body saying they love their body is?
Once again loving yourself in my opinion is narcissism but when it gets excessive it is annoying and people dislike it. But if you keep it at a good level then why not!
I think it is not bad at all!
There are levels of narcissism i'd say, I mean personally I would consider myself narcissistic since I just love myself and I think I am great. As long as I don't run around repeating that to everyone it should be the good level of narcissism.
The bad level of narcissism is when someone says: "Oh my god this guy is so full of himself, He just keeps talking about how good he is and I don't like it"
And why is it not considered narcissistic when you have these large women saying how big and beautiful they are?
It is still narcissism but at a higher level i'd say, depends on how much they mention it. If someone goes on and on about how beautiful they are people will start to develop a dislike for that person.
I'm all for thinking your beautiful/amazing etc...but why is that not narcissism and yet someone with a genuinely good body saying they love their body is?
Once again loving yourself in my opinion is narcissism but when it gets excessive it is annoying and people dislike it. But if you keep it at a good level then why not!
I completely agree with your take on narcissism but what I've noticed is, the more traditionally unattractive you are - the more publicly acceptable it is to proclaim how much you love yourself. Rather ironic given true narcissism is supposed to be about a grandiose sense of self worth etc...so if anything, those with an objectively (don't want to enter the debate about looks being subjective - not worth it, we all know what I mean) good looking body have more right to proclaim self love and yet they are the ones criticised first. Seems strange to me. But I agree with what you're saying
If people tell you you're a narcissist it's probably because you are lol arrogance is not attractive
Original post by _princessxox
If people tell you you're a narcissist it's probably because you are lol arrogance is not attractive
And yet women seem to throw themselves at me #
Original post by Anonymous
And yet women seem to throw themselves at me #
ahahahaha there's a difference between pulling an average girl and pulling a woman
women do not throw themselves at arrogant boys lmao
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks, and you raise a good point actually. Why is narcissism considered such a bad thing when we're constantly being told to love ourselves? And why is it not considered narcissistic when you have these large women saying how big and beautiful they are? I'm all for thinking your beautiful/amazing etc...but why is that not narcissism and yet someone with a genuinely good body saying they love their body is?
I think you've totally misunderstood what narcissism is.
Original post by _princessxox
ahahahaha there's a difference between pulling an average girl and pulling a woman
women do not throw themselves at arrogant boys lmao
women do not throw themselves at arrogant boys lmao
Except I wouldn't say I am arrogant. I simply see myself where I am. I don't big myself up, but I don't put myself down either - I'm just realistic about where I sit.
And trust me, I don't go for average girls. I'm not saying I don't put work in too - especially for the real stunners, but I can't say I've ever struggled getting a girl (not just talking about one night stands here).
Original post by Tabstercat
I think you've totally misunderstood what narcissism is.
Perhaps, but these are the criteria on which people are calling me a narcissist. So if indeed I have misunderstood the definition then so have they. And I'm more interested really in the 'common' (incorrect) definition as this is the one that applies to me most.
Original post by Anonymous
Perhaps, but these are the criteria on which people are calling me a narcissist. So if indeed I have misunderstood the definition then so have they. And I'm more interested really in the 'common' (incorrect) definition as this is the one that applies to me most.
You must lack some basic social skills if you don't understand why saying stuff like this:
Original post by Anonymous
As for looks, I'm tall (6'3"
, athletic, have a 6-pack etc....and am considered very good looking. I've never struggled to pull on a night out and women practically throw themselves at me. Even me saying this will come across I'm sure as narcissistic and yet I'm simply stating a fact.
, athletic, have a 6-pack etc....and am considered very good looking. I've never struggled to pull on a night out and women practically throw themselves at me. Even me saying this will come across I'm sure as narcissistic and yet I'm simply stating a fact.Could come off as conceited, arrogant, and yes narcissistic? You even put a winking face lmao. I call troll actually.
