Very Fussy Eater
I’m quite embarrassed to post this but it’s something I’ve never really discussed with anyone, even though I’m well aware of the problem. I’m an incredibly fussy eater and have been for a long time. I remember, when I was really young, that I used to like all kinds of food and had a varied diet but now I’m limited to a smll range of things and I’m not really sure where things changed or why.
It’s not that I wont try new things, I’m fine to do that, it just seems that I never LIKE anything new. There’s a lot of things I don’t like the taste of and it’s basic things that most people eat, which makes it even worse.
It isn’t just the taste of things that bothers me, but the texture as well. Onions for example, I don’t really have an issue with the taste but the texture and feel of them in my mouth make them impossible to eat. I also like/dislike foods based on how they are prepared or where they are from. For example, I like veg but I don’t like it crunchy and I love eggs but I hate them fried. I only eat certain meats from certain places and only if it’s cooked a certain way. I also dislike mixing foods together, like multiple fillings in sandwhiches or taking forkfulls of different foods on a plate.
It’s absolutely mortifying and I avoid eating around people as much as possible because I know they will think I am a total freak or that I’m being stupid and childish. It makes it very difficult for me to go out on dates or out with friends or anything like that and I have avoided doing those things by using different excuses. In the past people who have found out or have noticed me only eating certain things, have made negative comments on it, called me names or tried force feeding me things.
It’s caused more problems than you’d think and so I want to try and change my eating habits so I can be one of them people who can just eat anything and be ok with it but I’m not even sure where to start.
Being a fussy eater is seen as something that kids have a problem with, not people in their mid 20’s!
Does anyone have any advice on how to go about this? I’d be grateful for any
It’s not that I wont try new things, I’m fine to do that, it just seems that I never LIKE anything new. There’s a lot of things I don’t like the taste of and it’s basic things that most people eat, which makes it even worse.
It isn’t just the taste of things that bothers me, but the texture as well. Onions for example, I don’t really have an issue with the taste but the texture and feel of them in my mouth make them impossible to eat. I also like/dislike foods based on how they are prepared or where they are from. For example, I like veg but I don’t like it crunchy and I love eggs but I hate them fried. I only eat certain meats from certain places and only if it’s cooked a certain way. I also dislike mixing foods together, like multiple fillings in sandwhiches or taking forkfulls of different foods on a plate.
It’s absolutely mortifying and I avoid eating around people as much as possible because I know they will think I am a total freak or that I’m being stupid and childish. It makes it very difficult for me to go out on dates or out with friends or anything like that and I have avoided doing those things by using different excuses. In the past people who have found out or have noticed me only eating certain things, have made negative comments on it, called me names or tried force feeding me things.
It’s caused more problems than you’d think and so I want to try and change my eating habits so I can be one of them people who can just eat anything and be ok with it but I’m not even sure where to start.
Being a fussy eater is seen as something that kids have a problem with, not people in their mid 20’s!
Does anyone have any advice on how to go about this? I’d be grateful for any
I’m super fussy but never felt embarrassed about it :/ and my friends have never made me feel uncomfortable. I’d suggest the problem is more with them than you!
I mean, volunteering in Colombia with strangers, I had to ask one of my new housemates to debone fish for me cos it came served like that and I don’t know how to and won’t eat meat/fish with bones... they laughed sure. But it was all of us laughing at how useless/fussy I am rather than anything mean! And I’d only really just met them
But I’ve been fussy right from infancy so maybe I’ve just never learned to be self conscious about it because that’s always been my “normal”.
I’ve gotten slightly less fussy in the past 10 years (16-26 years old) but not by much. Mainly with meat - Like I can just about eat meat on the bone now if forced. And I’ll eat beef burgers and bacon which I wouldn’t before.
And I’ll tolerate vegetables if they’re in a smooth sauce/or pieces so small there’s no bad texture.
But honestly, for me at least, I don’t see much changing! There’s still plenty I can’t stomach no matter what I try.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to change your habits. But I think you also need to not be so hard on yourself and change your attitude towards it too
For changing habits I’d try small steps - I have the same problem with the texture of onion for example. So my ex would blend sauces when he cooked for me. Or chop up the onion so small when he made burger patties that I couldn’t feel it. Now I’m ok if things have onion in as long as it’s not crunchy and I can just sorta swallow without chewing it. (Sounds weird to a normal person but for me that’s progress! 😂)
I mean, volunteering in Colombia with strangers, I had to ask one of my new housemates to debone fish for me cos it came served like that and I don’t know how to and won’t eat meat/fish with bones... they laughed sure. But it was all of us laughing at how useless/fussy I am rather than anything mean! And I’d only really just met them
But I’ve been fussy right from infancy so maybe I’ve just never learned to be self conscious about it because that’s always been my “normal”.
I’ve gotten slightly less fussy in the past 10 years (16-26 years old) but not by much. Mainly with meat - Like I can just about eat meat on the bone now if forced. And I’ll eat beef burgers and bacon which I wouldn’t before.
And I’ll tolerate vegetables if they’re in a smooth sauce/or pieces so small there’s no bad texture.
But honestly, for me at least, I don’t see much changing! There’s still plenty I can’t stomach no matter what I try.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to change your habits. But I think you also need to not be so hard on yourself and change your attitude towards it too
For changing habits I’d try small steps - I have the same problem with the texture of onion for example. So my ex would blend sauces when he cooked for me. Or chop up the onion so small when he made burger patties that I couldn’t feel it. Now I’m ok if things have onion in as long as it’s not crunchy and I can just sorta swallow without chewing it. (Sounds weird to a normal person but for me that’s progress! 😂)
I do understand. I've struggled with synaesthesia with food (sometimes I can taste colours, can be lovely or really awful) and I think that's made my fussiness worse.
I've got less fussy by going to nicer restaurants. Sounds silly but I always insisted I hated lots of things but really I'd just never had them prepared well. But you've got to be able to do that with a really open mind or you'll just waste money.
Also - try and just be assertive about what you want in restaurants. If you're polite most wait staff don't mind making an adjustment or two to your order and if you act matter of fact most friends/dates won't care.
I always find going to people houses a bigger issue because I don't want to be rude by picking stuff out but I will literally start gagging if I have food I can't stand. But again, just make sure your friends know what you do/don't eat, try and Think of some basics you'll always have and some rules eg my partner won't have egg, fish or mushroom... there's other preferences with texture etc but those are easy rules to understand.
I've got less fussy by going to nicer restaurants. Sounds silly but I always insisted I hated lots of things but really I'd just never had them prepared well. But you've got to be able to do that with a really open mind or you'll just waste money.
Also - try and just be assertive about what you want in restaurants. If you're polite most wait staff don't mind making an adjustment or two to your order and if you act matter of fact most friends/dates won't care.
I always find going to people houses a bigger issue because I don't want to be rude by picking stuff out but I will literally start gagging if I have food I can't stand. But again, just make sure your friends know what you do/don't eat, try and Think of some basics you'll always have and some rules eg my partner won't have egg, fish or mushroom... there's other preferences with texture etc but those are easy rules to understand.
You seem to be phobic around food.
Why don't you start by doing some reading and research around food and eating disorders.
When you come to the concept of 'control' check that out very, very carefully.
Without a full case history it is difficult to be very specific but this is something a therapist may be able to help you with. Possibly a hypnotherapist might be a good start.
Why don't you start by doing some reading and research around food and eating disorders.
When you come to the concept of 'control' check that out very, very carefully.
Without a full case history it is difficult to be very specific but this is something a therapist may be able to help you with. Possibly a hypnotherapist might be a good start.
Thank you everyone for your advice, it’s much appreciated. It’s good to see there are a other fussy eaters around hehe. I think I will try things several times before I decide I like them or not. I read that for some people, a lot if foods can be an aquired taste so it’s best to not simply write something off after the first try.
I love the advice about going to good restaurants to try food as well, I think thats a great idea
Mainly though, I’m going to try and accept it for what it is. I can add a few extra things in here and there but I just don’t think I’m ever going to be able to eat anything and everything whenever I want.
Thanks again!
I love the advice about going to good restaurants to try food as well, I think thats a great idea
Mainly though, I’m going to try and accept it for what it is. I can add a few extra things in here and there but I just don’t think I’m ever going to be able to eat anything and everything whenever I want.
Thanks again!
Good luck!
And definitely not alone.... I pretty much don't eat any fruit or veg. I won't eat fish on the bone. Can't eat steak and struggle to eat any meat on the bone/that reminds me it's actually an animal I'm eating. Don't like anything remotely spicy/hot. Don't like alcohol. Don't like raisins or nuts. Don't really like fruit juice or yoghurt with bits - only just at a point where I can sorta stomach it if needed... prefer my foods not touching etc. etc.
And I'm not even the fussiest person I know I had a friend in primary who would only eat bread and butter "sandwiches" and ready salted crisps for their packed lunch...
For eating out I pretty much won't go somewhere unless I can see the menu and plan in advance - it is kinda awful when you end up somewhere and there's not a single thing on the menu I'll eat! Or when I was going out with big groups of friends where they wanted to go out for indian or chinese or something I wouldn't eat, I'd sometimes go but not eat or just get chips or something. But as I say, my friends knew I was fussy and never made me feel bad, and as we were a big group (10-15), I didn't feel so bad only buying drinks and a starter/side order.
And definitely not alone.... I pretty much don't eat any fruit or veg. I won't eat fish on the bone. Can't eat steak and struggle to eat any meat on the bone/that reminds me it's actually an animal I'm eating. Don't like anything remotely spicy/hot. Don't like alcohol. Don't like raisins or nuts. Don't really like fruit juice or yoghurt with bits - only just at a point where I can sorta stomach it if needed... prefer my foods not touching etc. etc.
And I'm not even the fussiest person I know
I had a friend in primary who would only eat bread and butter "sandwiches" and ready salted crisps for their packed lunch...For eating out I pretty much won't go somewhere unless I can see the menu and plan in advance - it is kinda awful when you end up somewhere and there's not a single thing on the menu I'll eat! Or when I was going out with big groups of friends where they wanted to go out for indian or chinese or something I wouldn't eat, I'd sometimes go but not eat or just get chips or something. But as I say, my friends knew I was fussy and never made me feel bad, and as we were a big group (10-15), I didn't feel so bad only buying drinks and a starter/side order.
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you everyone for your advice, it’s much appreciated. It’s good to see there are a other fussy eaters around hehe. I think I will try things several times before I decide I like them or not. I read that for some people, a lot if foods can be an aquired taste so it’s best to not simply write something off after the first try.
I love the advice about going to good restaurants to try food as well, I think thats a great idea
Mainly though, I’m going to try and accept it for what it is. I can add a few extra things in here and there but I just don’t think I’m ever going to be able to eat anything and everything whenever I want.
Thanks again!
I love the advice about going to good restaurants to try food as well, I think thats a great idea
Mainly though, I’m going to try and accept it for what it is. I can add a few extra things in here and there but I just don’t think I’m ever going to be able to eat anything and everything whenever I want.
Thanks again!
Original post by sophia5892
Good luck!
And definitely not alone.... I pretty much don't eat any fruit or veg. I won't eat fish on the bone. Can't eat steak and struggle to eat any meat on the bone/that reminds me it's actually an animal I'm eating. Don't like anything remotely spicy/hot. Don't like alcohol. Don't like raisins or nuts. Don't really like fruit juice or yoghurt with bits - only just at a point where I can sorta stomach it if needed... prefer my foods not touching etc. etc.
And I'm not even the fussiest person I know I had a friend in primary who would only eat bread and butter "sandwiches" and ready salted crisps for their packed lunch...
For eating out I pretty much won't go somewhere unless I can see the menu and plan in advance - it is kinda awful when you end up somewhere and there's not a single thing on the menu I'll eat! Or when I was going out with big groups of friends where they wanted to go out for indian or chinese or something I wouldn't eat, I'd sometimes go but not eat or just get chips or something. But as I say, my friends knew I was fussy and never made me feel bad, and as we were a big group (10-15), I didn't feel so bad only buying drinks and a starter/side order.
And definitely not alone.... I pretty much don't eat any fruit or veg. I won't eat fish on the bone. Can't eat steak and struggle to eat any meat on the bone/that reminds me it's actually an animal I'm eating. Don't like anything remotely spicy/hot. Don't like alcohol. Don't like raisins or nuts. Don't really like fruit juice or yoghurt with bits - only just at a point where I can sorta stomach it if needed... prefer my foods not touching etc. etc.
And I'm not even the fussiest person I know
I had a friend in primary who would only eat bread and butter "sandwiches" and ready salted crisps for their packed lunch...For eating out I pretty much won't go somewhere unless I can see the menu and plan in advance - it is kinda awful when you end up somewhere and there's not a single thing on the menu I'll eat! Or when I was going out with big groups of friends where they wanted to go out for indian or chinese or something I wouldn't eat, I'd sometimes go but not eat or just get chips or something. But as I say, my friends knew I was fussy and never made me feel bad, and as we were a big group (10-15), I didn't feel so bad only buying drinks and a starter/side order.
I don’t like alcohol either. Even when people say “oh it’s got lemonade in so you can taste the alcohol” i can ALWAYS taste it.
I don’t like nuts or yoghurts and juice with bits in either. And omg I only get chips if I have to go to an indian or chinese too! 😂 I thought I was the only one who did that and everyone calls me weird when they opt for chinese and I say “ehhh I’ll just get chips”
I was made to try spring rolls before and they were ok I suppose but then the next time I had them they were awful 😂
It’s lovely that your friends don’t make you feel bad. I had a friend that didn’t care at all what I ordered and never made me feel bad and it was refreshing. But then on the flipside I dated a guy who launched into this lecture about me not eating the egg whites one time when I made us breakfast. I don’t mind egg whites and will eat them but on this occasion I had soft boiled eggs with soldiers and was just dipping the bread in the yolk. He picked the egg up and started trying to scoop it all on my plate. It was a tense breakfast 😂
Original post by Anonymous
And omg I only get chips if I have to go to an indian or chinese too! 😂 I thought I was the only one who did that and everyone calls me weird when they opt for chinese and I say “ehhh I’ll just get chips”
As a kid I wouldn't even eat chips from a chinese or indian takeaway because they "tasted weird"
My mum tried every trick in the book with hidden veg, making me try things repeatedly to get used to the taste etc etc and nothing worked. I remember once she made me a fish pie (just white fish and mash), cos I liked white fish and mash. And I wouldn't eat it because when i tried it I didn't like it because the two things were together. She was so exasperated!
I am much better now, but still ridiculously fussy by most people's standards!
The interesting thing for me was finding out my dad is fussy in a very similar way - books tend to suggest it's learned behaviour, but my mum eats everything (aside from being vegetarian but she does actually like meat/fish, just doesn't eat it), and I've never met my dad so can't have learnt my fussiness from him!
Original post by Anonymous
I don’t like alcohol either. Even when people say “oh it’s got lemonade in so you can taste the alcohol” i can ALWAYS taste it.
I don’t like nuts or yoghurts and juice with bits in either. And omg I only get chips if I have to go to an indian or chinese too! 😂 I thought I was the only one who did that and everyone calls me weird when they opt for chinese and I say “ehhh I’ll just get chips”
I was made to try spring rolls before and they were ok I suppose but then the next time I had them they were awful 😂
I don’t like nuts or yoghurts and juice with bits in either. And omg I only get chips if I have to go to an indian or chinese too! 😂 I thought I was the only one who did that and everyone calls me weird when they opt for chinese and I say “ehhh I’ll just get chips”
I was made to try spring rolls before and they were ok I suppose but then the next time I had them they were awful 😂
spring rolls are very hit and miss!! dont write them off because you had bad ones one time, skme of them are horrible and mushy and then some are amazing so keep trying them
i would suggest maybe trying some vegetarian food? like quorn, fry's etc. obviously nothing has bones in and theres no gristly or fatty bits either so its a lot nicer tl eat than meat. there's a lot you can do with it if you experiment with how you cook it
@sotor makes a good point - I never buy pork sausages because the tiniest bit of gristle puts me off eating the rest of the pack... so I usually buy meat free, or recently I've started getting the Heck chicken ones.
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