Need advice on what to do next
I’m in a tough situation right now.
Just finished A level exams and I hardcore flopped without a doubt because I literally did 0 studying and was dragged through almost the whole 2 years, although it’s hard for me to admit it. I never did extremely badly for the topic tests. Although they are easier, I wouldn’t consider myself to be unintelligent. I would understand everything that is taught to me, but would never retain it or make an effort to revise content beyond homework. I would always push tasks and goals to the next day and never do them because of it. Procrastination is a big part of my life and I feel as if it has completely taken over.
I feel as if part of the reason I didn’t revise for finals is because I have no self confidence and just can’t wrap my head around the possibility of myself succeeding. I am my worst enemy, my biggest critic. I constantly put myself down. Every day.
At the start of second year, the fact that I wasn’t revising just hit very hard and I had a total breakdown in front of my teachers. I cried because I care and am aware of what I do and don’t do. I cry because deep down, I know I can do it, but I just don’t put my mind to it. From then on, I cried myself to sleep almost every day for at least two weeks. The next part is probably obvious and cliche, so I won’t go into that. I also missed my mum that had been away for months at that point and just felt more like an overall failure because I’m a young adult. Told her how I felt over the phone but I think she never really understood the gravity of the situation and probably just assumed I was being dramatic. She doesn’t need to anyway; she has fought her entire life to keep me happy and have a good education. Which is what hits me even harder because I feel like I’m not only failing myself but her as well.
Fast track to the next few months, I became emotionally numb to the pressure of having to revise and do well and stopped taking the course seriously. It was rare for me to arrive for lessons on time, which in the back of my head was crazy because, again, I care and was a dedicated student in terms of attendance and punctuality. Mind you I still thought I’d snap out of it and go ham one-two months before exams. Never happened. Didn’t care either.
So here I am debating whether I should retake, if it’s even possible, or get some type of professional qualification/ apprenticeship (which many ask for good A level grades which is a yeet and a half for me). Thought really hard about uni for the past 4 years and never found any course that actually interests me, which could be another red flag as to why I didn’t revise. The idea of doing something I have no passion for at uni is just gross to me as I know that many graduates just go on to work in completely unrelated fields. Yet I feel like that can just be an excuse I came up with for being lazy and stupid.
I have also debated the possibility of moving to another country and starting from 0, learning another language, making friends and trying to be independent and take care of myself. To leave home and detach myself from the ‘spoilt’ mentality I’m in at the moment might be exactly what I need. Thing is, I don’t want to work in retail for the rest of my life. I want to do something mentally challenging. I want to be financially and emotionally stable. I don’t want this to be another excuse for running away from my responsibilities as an adult.
I have considered the possibility of having some type of mental disorder but honestly just can’t see that being a thing; maybe another excuse.
I don’t know what to do at this point and would like to know what others would do if thrown into this scenario.
Thank you for your time reading =)
Just finished A level exams and I hardcore flopped without a doubt because I literally did 0 studying and was dragged through almost the whole 2 years, although it’s hard for me to admit it. I never did extremely badly for the topic tests. Although they are easier, I wouldn’t consider myself to be unintelligent. I would understand everything that is taught to me, but would never retain it or make an effort to revise content beyond homework. I would always push tasks and goals to the next day and never do them because of it. Procrastination is a big part of my life and I feel as if it has completely taken over.
I feel as if part of the reason I didn’t revise for finals is because I have no self confidence and just can’t wrap my head around the possibility of myself succeeding. I am my worst enemy, my biggest critic. I constantly put myself down. Every day.
At the start of second year, the fact that I wasn’t revising just hit very hard and I had a total breakdown in front of my teachers. I cried because I care and am aware of what I do and don’t do. I cry because deep down, I know I can do it, but I just don’t put my mind to it. From then on, I cried myself to sleep almost every day for at least two weeks. The next part is probably obvious and cliche, so I won’t go into that. I also missed my mum that had been away for months at that point and just felt more like an overall failure because I’m a young adult. Told her how I felt over the phone but I think she never really understood the gravity of the situation and probably just assumed I was being dramatic. She doesn’t need to anyway; she has fought her entire life to keep me happy and have a good education. Which is what hits me even harder because I feel like I’m not only failing myself but her as well.
Fast track to the next few months, I became emotionally numb to the pressure of having to revise and do well and stopped taking the course seriously. It was rare for me to arrive for lessons on time, which in the back of my head was crazy because, again, I care and was a dedicated student in terms of attendance and punctuality. Mind you I still thought I’d snap out of it and go ham one-two months before exams. Never happened. Didn’t care either.
So here I am debating whether I should retake, if it’s even possible, or get some type of professional qualification/ apprenticeship (which many ask for good A level grades which is a yeet and a half for me). Thought really hard about uni for the past 4 years and never found any course that actually interests me, which could be another red flag as to why I didn’t revise. The idea of doing something I have no passion for at uni is just gross to me as I know that many graduates just go on to work in completely unrelated fields. Yet I feel like that can just be an excuse I came up with for being lazy and stupid.
I have also debated the possibility of moving to another country and starting from 0, learning another language, making friends and trying to be independent and take care of myself. To leave home and detach myself from the ‘spoilt’ mentality I’m in at the moment might be exactly what I need. Thing is, I don’t want to work in retail for the rest of my life. I want to do something mentally challenging. I want to be financially and emotionally stable. I don’t want this to be another excuse for running away from my responsibilities as an adult.
I have considered the possibility of having some type of mental disorder but honestly just can’t see that being a thing; maybe another excuse.
I don’t know what to do at this point and would like to know what others would do if thrown into this scenario.
Thank you for your time reading =)
Original post by Anonymous
I’m in a tough situation right now.
Just finished A level exams and I hardcore flopped without a doubt because I literally did 0 studying and was dragged through almost the whole 2 years, although it’s hard for me to admit it. I never did extremely badly for the topic tests. Although they are easier, I wouldn’t consider myself to be unintelligent. I would understand everything that is taught to me, but would never retain it or make an effort to revise content beyond homework. I would always push tasks and goals to the next day and never do them because of it. Procrastination is a big part of my life and I feel as if it has completely taken over.
I feel as if part of the reason I didn’t revise for finals is because I have no self confidence and just can’t wrap my head around the possibility of myself succeeding. I am my worst enemy, my biggest critic. I constantly put myself down. Every day.
At the start of second year, the fact that I wasn’t revising just hit very hard and I had a total breakdown in front of my teachers. I cried because I care and am aware of what I do and don’t do. I cry because deep down, I know I can do it, but I just don’t put my mind to it. From then on, I cried myself to sleep almost every day for at least two weeks. The next part is probably obvious and cliche, so I won’t go into that. I also missed my mum that had been away for months at that point and just felt more like an overall failure because I’m a young adult. Told her how I felt over the phone but I think she never really understood the gravity of the situation and probably just assumed I was being dramatic. She doesn’t need to anyway; she has fought her entire life to keep me happy and have a good education. Which is what hits me even harder because I feel like I’m not only failing myself but her as well.
Fast track to the next few months, I became emotionally numb to the pressure of having to revise and do well and stopped taking the course seriously. It was rare for me to arrive for lessons on time, which in the back of my head was crazy because, again, I care and was a dedicated student in terms of attendance and punctuality. Mind you I still thought I’d snap out of it and go ham one-two months before exams. Never happened. Didn’t care either.
So here I am debating whether I should retake, if it’s even possible, or get some type of professional qualification/ apprenticeship (which many ask for good A level grades which is a yeet and a half for me). Thought really hard about uni for the past 4 years and never found any course that actually interests me, which could be another red flag as to why I didn’t revise. The idea of doing something I have no passion for at uni is just gross to me as I know that many graduates just go on to work in completely unrelated fields. Yet I feel like that can just be an excuse I came up with for being lazy and stupid.
I have also debated the possibility of moving to another country and starting from 0, learning another language, making friends and trying to be independent and take care of myself. To leave home and detach myself from the ‘spoilt’ mentality I’m in at the moment might be exactly what I need. Thing is, I don’t want to work in retail for the rest of my life. I want to do something mentally challenging. I want to be financially and emotionally stable. I don’t want this to be another excuse for running away from my responsibilities as an adult.
I have considered the possibility of having some type of mental disorder but honestly just can’t see that being a thing; maybe another excuse.
I don’t know what to do at this point and would like to know what others would do if thrown into this scenario.
Thank you for your time reading =)
Just finished A level exams and I hardcore flopped without a doubt because I literally did 0 studying and was dragged through almost the whole 2 years, although it’s hard for me to admit it. I never did extremely badly for the topic tests. Although they are easier, I wouldn’t consider myself to be unintelligent. I would understand everything that is taught to me, but would never retain it or make an effort to revise content beyond homework. I would always push tasks and goals to the next day and never do them because of it. Procrastination is a big part of my life and I feel as if it has completely taken over.
I feel as if part of the reason I didn’t revise for finals is because I have no self confidence and just can’t wrap my head around the possibility of myself succeeding. I am my worst enemy, my biggest critic. I constantly put myself down. Every day.
At the start of second year, the fact that I wasn’t revising just hit very hard and I had a total breakdown in front of my teachers. I cried because I care and am aware of what I do and don’t do. I cry because deep down, I know I can do it, but I just don’t put my mind to it. From then on, I cried myself to sleep almost every day for at least two weeks. The next part is probably obvious and cliche, so I won’t go into that. I also missed my mum that had been away for months at that point and just felt more like an overall failure because I’m a young adult. Told her how I felt over the phone but I think she never really understood the gravity of the situation and probably just assumed I was being dramatic. She doesn’t need to anyway; she has fought her entire life to keep me happy and have a good education. Which is what hits me even harder because I feel like I’m not only failing myself but her as well.
Fast track to the next few months, I became emotionally numb to the pressure of having to revise and do well and stopped taking the course seriously. It was rare for me to arrive for lessons on time, which in the back of my head was crazy because, again, I care and was a dedicated student in terms of attendance and punctuality. Mind you I still thought I’d snap out of it and go ham one-two months before exams. Never happened. Didn’t care either.
So here I am debating whether I should retake, if it’s even possible, or get some type of professional qualification/ apprenticeship (which many ask for good A level grades which is a yeet and a half for me). Thought really hard about uni for the past 4 years and never found any course that actually interests me, which could be another red flag as to why I didn’t revise. The idea of doing something I have no passion for at uni is just gross to me as I know that many graduates just go on to work in completely unrelated fields. Yet I feel like that can just be an excuse I came up with for being lazy and stupid.
I have also debated the possibility of moving to another country and starting from 0, learning another language, making friends and trying to be independent and take care of myself. To leave home and detach myself from the ‘spoilt’ mentality I’m in at the moment might be exactly what I need. Thing is, I don’t want to work in retail for the rest of my life. I want to do something mentally challenging. I want to be financially and emotionally stable. I don’t want this to be another excuse for running away from my responsibilities as an adult.
I have considered the possibility of having some type of mental disorder but honestly just can’t see that being a thing; maybe another excuse.
I don’t know what to do at this point and would like to know what others would do if thrown into this scenario.
Thank you for your time reading =)
Have you posted this before? Seems familiar.
I suggest you contact the poster marinade and listen to their advice. If you have a mental health issue then they can give you some advice to help feel better about yourself. After you have done that I will have a think about it if you post his reply.
As short as I can make it you either have a mh issue or you dont.
In the event you do then get treatment.
In the event you do not, then you are going to need to grow up and take responsibility for your life.
Ofc you can do professional qualifications, but who knows if you will be able to do those and stick to a job?
You can also talk to national careers.
https://nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/contact-us
I spent hours on one of these yesterday, but the best and most detailed advice in the world is going to have zero effect unless you are in a receptive mood, have a decent attitude and willing to act on things and sort yourself out. There arent magic answers, so you are going to have to reflect more on whats happened to you, why, what you want and how you are going to get there. Why would it be any different? When you progress to that stage (MH notwithstanding), then post back. The foreign country bit sounds like joining the foreign legion and running away.
It seems you have a general lack of motivation and I gather from your words you are feeling hopeless. These are signs of a possible mental illness. I would definitely look into the mental health services and see what they can do for you, though if you're on the NHS, I wouldn't expect much.
Your health comes first - you can definitely retake your a-levels, or even get a job with just your gcse's but without the motivation these things won't bear fruit. As someone who suffered and still suffers from major anxiety and depression, I too was in a similar situation from my GCSE years right through my AS year. My grades took a major hit, I wasn't eating or sleeping and could barely speak.
After seeing my mother break down under the stress of it all, not heing able to take what she felt was the loss of her daughter, I knew I had to do something.
I agreed to therapy, I hated it but they taught me how to rebuild my motivation for life. Setting myself small goals everyday - things as little as brushing my teeth, seemingly small victories, where the steps to my recovery. That being said, it's not perefct and I still have bad days.
My point is regardless of what path you take, employment, a-levels, apprenticeship etc, if you don't sort out your lack of motivation, you could carry the same attitude towards the next steps you take in your life.
If you mum won't listen to you and assuming you are already or close to the age of 18, take ownership of your own life and stop wasting time on people that won't listen to you. Find help. Something is obviously not right here and it is up to you to find out why.
I would also look into whether you have any learning disabilities, dsylexia etc. This may also be affecting your performance also.
Your health comes first - you can definitely retake your a-levels, or even get a job with just your gcse's but without the motivation these things won't bear fruit. As someone who suffered and still suffers from major anxiety and depression, I too was in a similar situation from my GCSE years right through my AS year. My grades took a major hit, I wasn't eating or sleeping and could barely speak.
After seeing my mother break down under the stress of it all, not heing able to take what she felt was the loss of her daughter, I knew I had to do something.
I agreed to therapy, I hated it but they taught me how to rebuild my motivation for life. Setting myself small goals everyday - things as little as brushing my teeth, seemingly small victories, where the steps to my recovery. That being said, it's not perefct and I still have bad days.
My point is regardless of what path you take, employment, a-levels, apprenticeship etc, if you don't sort out your lack of motivation, you could carry the same attitude towards the next steps you take in your life.
If you mum won't listen to you and assuming you are already or close to the age of 18, take ownership of your own life and stop wasting time on people that won't listen to you. Find help. Something is obviously not right here and it is up to you to find out why.
I would also look into whether you have any learning disabilities, dsylexia etc. This may also be affecting your performance also.
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