Mental health services are messing me up.

I’m sorry I’m not much help but I am sorry you are in this situation. Personality disorders, BPD etc are so misunderstood by many professionals. I hope things look up for you soon.

I am 19.
I have a mental illness that has a severe impact on every aspect of my life. It is called a personality disorder, this is difficult to say as I am a control freak and ill = less control.

However, despite previously spending 2 years in psychiatric hospital, I've received NO help. Hardly an psychology, NO DBT.

I got band from my local mental health service for behaviour & manipulation & over dependance on their service. I have no idea what they are talking about. I haven't SH'd in over 1 year & never threatened them.

They said that the only person they will allow me to see is a personality disorder consultant psychiatrist BUT they don't employ one.

I was put on medication when I was in hospital, however I discontinued it with in a couple of weeks of getting out. I felt it was unethical - caused severe weight gain & it was 'wrong'. Stopped me from ever feeling hunger.
I am terrified of it anyway as when I was in hospital it once triggered what I assume was psychosis. Ie. Complex hallucinations, agitation, exteme fear, light phobia, nightmares. At the time I knew something was very wrong, however they made out I was fabricating the symptoms.

Another time, this was probably trigger by sleep deprevation & drug withdrawal I started hallucinating & dissociating & was really paranoid/ anxious. The consultant took one look at me, said it was a BPD mood swing, he discharged me. He said, if I did any more BEHAVIOUR my parents could ring crisis. I felt too f, cking ill to do behaviour , I just went to bed for the next 6 weeks or so. Got no support. Local mental health team didn't help.
Months on I dissociate daily and most days I get a barrage of weird intrusive thoughts that I know aren't true. Ie. Don't walk down the street, it's too long so a misile might get you. Like what the f*ck is that.

I don't know how to deal with this situation. 70% of medical professionals immediately assume I am attention seeking.

Maybe I should complain IDK.

It is possible to complain. You could also ask to have your care transferred to a different area which has more help for people with PDs. I'm really sorry they aren't doing a whole lot to help you with what you're struggling with. It's wrong.

It’s not only wrong as per say, it’s taking away a child’s right to be listened to and being assessed throughly. OP is in a vulnerable position and has been for a while by the looks of events and it’s ever so unfortunate that somewhat people come to the conclusion that he’s either deranged or attention seeking without doing a through investigation.

Complaining will obviously be useful however it should be borne in mind that it can take a while to get a response back.

OP- Keep going buddy. I know it’s hard, but take each day as it comes. Feed your mind good thoughts and be productive each day. It’s one of the ways to beat MH. I wish you all the best with your recovery.

Not really sure what you're getting at tbh? I agree with you and haven't said anything to the contrary? They're also 19 now, no longer a child. MH services for adults are not that great tbh, very hit and miss a lot of the time.

Depends how you go about doing the complaint. Involve your local MP and they usually get things done/sorted quickly.

As I said, you also have a right to choose where you go within a level of care. For example, if you don't want to be cared for in your local mental health trust, you can be referred out. This option would be good for OP because they could be referred to a specialist PD service nearby or further a field.

Sorry, I wasn’t disagreeing with you. I was adding to your point earlier.

That’s because those people employed in the mental health service don’t look at people like OP as a vulnerable individual. They perceive it from their own viewpoint and the manner in which the individual comes across to them.

Yes involving MPs would be done quicker however that’s an option OP would have to decide. But I reckon responses will now be slower due to the pandemic but it’s still worth a shot.

Yeah, this is unfortunately common. It's mostly because of poor interpersonal skills on the clinicians side and chronic underfunding. I don't know if OP has had trauma in their life, but that also worsens reactions for some reason. Certain diagnoses do as well (e.g. BPD, such as in the case of the OP).

They could be slow, they could be fast. Doesn't really matter, it's not like they've got anything to lose by putting their points across when they've been pushed out by services, and involving the local MP.

That’s because those people employed in the mental health service don’t look at people like OP as a vulnerable individual. They perceive it from their own viewpoint and the manner in which the individual comes across to them.

Yes I do.

TW I experienced CSE as a young teenager. Its really f*cked me up. I can't go near men in the street on my own, I almost punched one the other night as I was so terrified of him.

When I got discharged from hospital, I began to get horrible intrusive thoughts about someone coming to assult me and how I needed to attack a specific person. Not want, need. *I don't get that specific thought anymore & didn't so don't worry*
I went to see crisis and they told me that I probably have ASPD. Basically low key sociopathy. I wasn't happy.

The nature of my personality disorder makes communication really difficult. I can't bear anything that's incorrect, I am absolutely terrified of people thinking incorrect things. So I often have to repeat sentences excetra. Also I am not 'allowed' to say certain words.


They view me as having a pathological need for attention, opposed to a medical need for treatment.