English language helppp aqa gcse

Rosabel looked out of the windows; the street was blurred and misty, but light striking on
the panes turned their dullness to opal and silver, and the jewellers' shops seen through
this were fairy palaces. Her feet were horribly wet, and she knew the bottom of her skirt and
petticoat would be coated with black, greasy mud. There was a sickening smell of warm
humanity – it seemed to be oozing out of everybody in the bus – and everybody had the
same expression, sitting so still, staring in front of them. Rosabel stirred suddenly and
unfastened the two top buttons of her coat… she felt almost stifled. Through her
half-closed eyes, the whole row of people on the opposite seat seemed to resolve into one
meaningless, staring face.
How does the writer use language here to describe Rosabel's bus journey home?


Manfeild employs adverbs to amplify Rosabel's discomfort on her bus journey home. Whilst on the bus home we can see that Rosabel's feet are "horribly wet". The adverb "horribly" tells the reader how unpleasant her feet feel, this creates a sense of discomfort to the reader, allowing them to sympathize with her. Her overall discomfort may symbolize how she isn't living a lavish, comfortable life. Rosabels bus journey was uncomfortable possibly symbolizing her life.

Can someone give me some feedback on how to improve this paragraph <3

Perhaps add a second inference? - the word "wet" would insinuate it is raining outside and this pathetic fallacy creates the atmosphere of dull, sad and uncomfortable - reflecting her mood of discomfort x