I can't tell if this is the fault of the NHS or my parents, though my parents have reassured me it isn't theirs and I'm inclined to believe them based on how appalling the NHS is. After much difficulty, today I finally aquired my medical records. I'm going through the police recruitment process and want to see how much I'll have to tell them so I don't have to lie if they look at my medical records etc.
Honestly, I think if a person who doesn't understand mental health issues, or the police, were to see it, they'd think I'm a nutter.
I'm furious because as long as four years ago my GP and others are saying I have depression, sucidal ideataion and possible aspergers, yet it wasn't until this year i got diagnosed with aspergers and late last year i got diagnosed with depression (and put on antidepressants). My mental health back then was far worse than I thought. Literally, the NHS did **** all. I read all of my records - apparently I had written somewhere when I was 14 I wanted to shoot myself. I was given psychotherapy, but never put on medication, wtf? Despite it not working! The NHS hae never communicated to me what the doctor is thinking, I was never told I had depression, I was never sent for a diagnosis. I'm furious. Furious at being told how lucky I am to live in this country and have access to the NHS, yet its absolutely ****. It has failed me, and no doubt I will probably end up failing my police medical. (history of su*c*de thoughts/self harm/a su*c*de attempt earlier this year and on medication). If the doctors had actually put me on medication, my suffering years later could have been prevented and I could have felt mroe confident in starting a job I'd love.
So **** the NHS. I won't be clapping for you again, your mental health services are a joke. This isn't just the government's fault. If I had topped myself, the NHS would have blood on its hands, and it already does. I'm sorry, I'm probably coming across as really entitled, and I know people basically worship the NHS in the Uk like some kind of cult, but I'm so angry right now.