Should I quit my School Centred Initial Teacher Training?
Hi all, this is my first ever time posting on here so I hope I’ve done this right. I really want some advice: I started my teacher training in psychology in September and I’ve had quite a rocky start.. My mentor and colleagues at my PP1 placement have been expecting a lot from me since I got there and I feel quite uncomfortable around some of them- especially some of the things they say about students. Also and probably the biggest issue is that I’m so exhausted all the time and I feel like I’m not having a life because of the course. I’ve done my BSc, an MSc and there were points admittedly when I didn’t think I would get through them at all because of my mental health but I ended up getting top grades in both. I have wanted to teach since I was about 12 and I’m now 25. I was a TA for a year before I started this course and I loved getting to know my students and spending time with them- honestly, it was real unconditional love that no one had given me in a long time. And doing that made me itch to be the one at the front and although I have enjoyed elements, it’s the workload that I struggle most with: it’s never done, never enough time to do it in, the well-being support is shocking and when I get home I feel so tired and often quite low that I just can’t do anything. Now I have been on top of everything but struggling but now I’m doing full lesson planning I’m just finding it too much and had a breakdown today on a colleague and I felt so embarrassed. I have so many regrets about things already and I don’t want leaving this course to be another one. But.. I can’t not have a life for another 40 years etc. I can’t work all out all day just to be required to do more hours when I get home and not be able to do all the things I love (which I struggle to do anyway because of my diagnosed depression etc). I love areas of my subject though and I love talking to kids and helping them figure things out.
Any advice please? I could really do with it!