GCSE - AQA - English Language paper 1 question 5 review

Hello everyone,
I hope you are all doing well and managing well with all your tasks, could anyone please read my response and give me a mark out of 40 please?

Merciless. Torrential. Ruthless.

Fiercely the storm raged on, carving and ripping at the very fabric of the world with jagged bolts of lightning and enormous waves that crashed down with the force of a great evil God. Wind howled and moaned like a mournful spirit, piercing the soul of anyone caught in its path. Wonderingly, people watched as the lashing droplets of rain fell from the sky in sheets, each drop seeming to carry with it the weight of the storm's fury. Was this the end of the world? A question that reverberated in my mind as I struggled to hold on against the ferocious winds. Surrounding the ominous darkness that seemed to stretch on forever, was a never-ending nightmare of rain and thunder. The lightning flashes illuminated the world with an almost hypnotic quality, while the crashes of thunder echoed with the storm's power.

Nothing!

Struggling to maintain my balance against the raging storm outside, I abruptly found myself standing in the midst of an old and forgotten attic. The musty air hung heavy with the scent of age and neglect, filling my nostrils with the pungent aroma of decay. The only light came from a single flickering candle, casting eerie shadows that danced along the walls. As I stepped forward, the floorboards creaked beneath my feet. The boxes and furniture were covered in a thick layer of dust and cobwebs, making the air feel thick and heavy. The picture frame hanging on the wall drew me in, and I gazed upon the image within, taking in the blemished and tarnished image, its colours faded with time. The edges of the frame were frayed and worn, giving the relic an air of antiquity. A feeling of unease washed over me, as though the picture held a story that I couldn't quite grasp, leaving me with a sense of foreboding.

Nothing!

Upon beholding the portrait on the wall, I saw an old man with a face marked by wrinkles, scars, and blemishes. His haunting eyes appeared to hold an otherworldly wisdom, and his thin, chapped lips were twisted into a menacing sneer. I noticed that the skin on the old man's face, which was marked by wrinkles, scars, and blemishes, appeared to be blistered and discoloured, as if he had suffered from a terrible illness or injury. I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something malevolent about the portrait, as if the old man within it was watching me. The sense of unease only grew stronger as his eyes seemed to follow me around the room. The portrait felt alive, and the man within it seemed to be waiting for me to make a move. I wondered what kind of life he had led and what kind of darkness had left its mark on his face. The foreboding feeling I had experienced earlier never left me, and I felt as though I had stumbled upon a hidden secret that I was not supposed to see.

Nothing!

Gazing out over the horizon, I was captivated by the breath-taking beauty of nature's palette. Sun rays danced through the trees, casting a variety of warm hues over the landscape. Wind carried the sweet scent of blooming flowers, and the songs of birds filled the air with a melodious symphony. The sky, a canvas of blue and white, stretched out as far as the eye could see, with fluffy white clouds drifting lazily like cotton candy in the breeze. As I took a deep breath, I felt the warmth of the sun on my skin, enveloping me in a comforting embrace. The gentle breeze played with my hair, like the loving touch of a mother's hand. The leaves rustled and danced together, creating a soothing melody that filled me with a sense of peace. Soft grass beneath my feet tickled my toes; it was as though earth was reminding me to take a moment and connect with the world around me.

Compassionate. Mild. Merciful.

I couldn't help myself but wonder how I had ever lived without its beauty. The storm that had once threatened to consume me now seemed like a distant memory, replaced by the gentle caress of the breeze and the warmth of the sun. Everywhere I looked, the world was alive with vibrant colours and intricate details that I had never noticed before. The petals of a nearby flower, the bark of a tree, and the delicate wings of a butterfly were all marvels of nature's craftsmanship. I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for being able to experience this moment. As I walked through the lush greenery, I noticed a small stream gurgling nearby, its crystal-clear water sparkling in the sun's rays. The sound of its gentle flow was music to my ears, soothing and calming my restless mind. But amidst this serenity, a question lingered in my mind: Could this peace be everlasting, or was it just a fleeting moment of respite from the world's chaos?

Wonder.