The Student Room Group

Anxiety about Uni

Hi,

I’m due to start uni in September and have been feeling really anxious and scared about things over the past few weeks.

I’m moving about three hours away from home, and although I know it’s an easy drive to do, it still worries me that I won’t be able to get home easily if that makes sense?

At my current place of work, we had five or six people lose family members in the space of about a month. I had a breakdown in-front of a colleague about how I was terrified about losing both sets of grandparents when I was away. And it’s still something that terrifies me.

As well as this, I’m also in a relationship with my lovely girlfriend. And I’m terrified I’ll lose what we have because I’m moving away. We’ve both said that nothing will change, but I hate to think that the distance will be a struggle. We’ve both said that we’ll visit each other, but with my course having blocks of placement, I’m worried how often the visits would be.

I’d say I’m particularly family focused and covid has definitely made me more of a home bird. But I don’t know if these are normal feelings to be having before I go away.

Am I doing the right thing?
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by ojj610
Hi,

I’m due to start uni in September and have been feeling really anxious and scared about things over the past few weeks.

I’m moving about three hours away from home, and although I know it’s an easy drive to do, it still worries me that I won’t be able to get home easily if that makes sense?

At my current place of work, we had five or six people lose family members in the space of about a month. I had a breakdown in-front of a colleague about how I was terrified about losing both sets of grandparents when I was away. And it’s still something that terrifies me.

As well as this, I’m also in a relationship. And I’m terrified I’ll lose what we have because I’m moving away. We’ve both said that nothing will change, but I hate to think that the distance will be a struggle. We’ve both said that we’ll visit each other, but with my course having blocks of placement, I’m worried how often the visits would be.

I’d say I’m particularly family focused and covid has definitely made me more of a home bird. But I don’t know if these are normal feelings to be having before I go away.

Am I doing the right thing?

hiya lovely, I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling like this, but do be assured that this is perfectly normal. It's no surprise that you'll be emotional when moving away from family, especially since you've been with them for 18 years (I'm assuming). You are not alone and I'm sure there are many people out there who are in the same position as you. What I do recommend is not doubting your decision with moving away. Although it may be daunting, moving away is one of the best things that can help you shape your identity; of course your family will always there and since you did say that you are family oriented, I highly doubt that you guys will separate. Those who have during their uni experience are most likely saying that because they've realised that they like the independence, and I'm sure you will too. But attaching yourself to your family and disregarding the chance to be independent will not serve greatly for you. Covid has affected many people, myself included, so please do believe me when I say that there are lots of people feeling just like you.
As for your boyfriend, I cannot give much advice but a lot of my friends are experiencing the same anxiety. I do not know whether your boyfriend is also planning to go to uni or stay and work, but if you two were to hypothetically break up, it wouldn't be because you both lost feelings for each other but yes, because of distance. I do strongly suggest trying to make it work, especially since it seems like you have lots of love for him. But I wouldn't spend so much time worrying about an outcome that might not even happen.

I don't know if this helped, but all I can say is that you are not alone and there are tons of people in your position, so please believe me when I say you are doing the right thing and this anxiety will resolve. <3
Original post by ojj610
Hi,

I’m due to start uni in September and have been feeling really anxious and scared about things over the past few weeks.

I’m moving about three hours away from home, and although I know it’s an easy drive to do, it still worries me that I won’t be able to get home easily if that makes sense?

At my current place of work, we had five or six people lose family members in the space of about a month. I had a breakdown in-front of a colleague about how I was terrified about losing both sets of grandparents when I was away. And it’s still something that terrifies me.

As well as this, I’m also in a relationship. And I’m terrified I’ll lose what we have because I’m moving away. We’ve both said that nothing will change, but I hate to think that the distance will be a struggle. We’ve both said that we’ll visit each other, but with my course having blocks of placement, I’m worried how often the visits would be.

I’d say I’m particularly family focused and covid has definitely made me more of a home bird. But I don’t know if these are normal feelings to be having before I go away.

Am I doing the right thing?

Hi @ojj18,

Going to uni and moving away from home can be very daunting, I totally get that. When I came to university (straight after Covid!) I had the exact same thoughts. But, I’m in my second year now and I look back on all that time worrying and wish I hadn’t been so hard on my self or let myself overthink things too much where it ruins the actual experience of it!

As soon as you get to uni, your main job is to make friends. Whether that be in your halls, your classes, societies, clubs or group chats for freshers week - get involved! This is the time to push yourself outside that comfort zone because you’ll thank yourself you did at a later date. It’ll make uni-life so much easier and comfortable to get back to after spending some time at home or with your boyfriend. I found loads of group chats through Facebook pages of my chosen uni and then started speaking to people in advance from there, got myself in the loop a-bit.

Once I moved in, I had already known and spoken to a few of my hall-mates! Start preparing now instead of worrying what might be or won’t be, you need to do what’s best for you. I know long distance can be hard but it will make you appreciate you and your partner’s relationship so much more when you do see each other! As long as you’re both willing to put in the effort and time.

One other thing I’d suggest, no matter how hard you want to or how tempting it is to leave and go home - don’t do it! You have to push through them first few weeks, keep going, try and put yourself out there again and again to meet new people and getting involved. It’s the best time to do it. You’ll also end up finding some sort of homely routine that suits you, just try not to worry about it all too much - find what’s easy and comfortable to keep you on track of everything. That way, you can plan your visits home or to your boyfriend which fits in with your schedule.

Wishing you all the best,
Ellie

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