The Student Room Group

I think I'm (possibly) dead

Mods, please allow me to make this thread anonymously.

A few years ago I tried to end my life.
Things were really not going well for me and I couldn't see how my life could get better. How could I possibly get out of that hole?

But my life now is excellent!

I can't help but sometimes wonder if I did in fact die that day and all of 'this' is just a simulation (a vivid 'dream') as my brain shuts down, or if God is showing me how good my life could have been if I didn't end it.

Making this post anonymously as I'm either right, or I have serious issues.

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Well sheit... does that mean I'm dead as well and don't even realise it? Was I ever even born in the first place? Or am I just a piece of JavaScript in someone's Macbook from the year 2100

You have no idea what you just started...
Reply 2
Original post by NonIndigenous
Well sheit... does that mean I'm dead as well and don't even realise it? Was I ever even born in the first place? Or am I just a piece of JavaScript in someone's Macbook from the year 2100

You have no idea what you just started...


Thank you for the sarcastic comment. I'm being serious.
Original post by Anonymous
Mods, please allow me to make this thread anonymously.

A few years ago I tried to end my life.
Things were really not going well for me and I couldn't see how my life could get better. How could I possibly get out of that hole?

But my life now is excellent!

I can't help but sometimes wonder if I did in fact die that day and all of 'this' is just a simulation (a vivid 'dream') as my brain shuts down, or if God is showing me how good my life could have been if I didn't end it.

Making this post anonymously as I'm either right, or I have serious issues.

I can understand why you’d feel like that, especially if it felt like things would never get better. Don’t really have advice for you sorry, but I just wanted to say it’s probably not as weird as you think.
Original post by Anonymous
Mods, please allow me to make this thread anonymously.

A few years ago I tried to end my life.
Things were really not going well for me and I couldn't see how my life could get better. How could I possibly get out of that hole?

But my life now is excellent!

I can't help but sometimes wonder if I did in fact die that day and all of 'this' is just a simulation (a vivid 'dream') as my brain shuts down, or if God is showing me how good my life could have been if I didn't end it.

Making this post anonymously as I'm either right, or I have serious issues.

Ever heard of the phrase 'I think, therefore I am?'. Its the idea that if you are having thoughts then that means you are in fact, real.
Don’t be ridiculous, you’re alive. If something as low quality as TSR existed in the afterlife then we’d all need a refund from God.
Reply 6
Original post by Sorcerer of Old
Don’t be ridiculous, you’re alive. If something as low quality as TSR existed in the afterlife then we’d all need a refund from God.


lol, but seriously?
Original post by AJSM
lol, but seriously?


Yes seriously.
Reply 8
Original post by Sorcerer of Old
Yes seriously.


Well, at least we have evidence of reality vs afterlife then.
Original post by Anonymous
Mods, please allow me to make this thread anonymously.

A few years ago I tried to end my life.
Things were really not going well for me and I couldn't see how my life could get better. How could I possibly get out of that hole?

But my life now is excellent!

I can't help but sometimes wonder if I did in fact die that day and all of 'this' is just a simulation (a vivid 'dream') as my brain shuts down, or if God is showing me how good my life could have been if I didn't end it.

Making this post anonymously as I'm either right, or I have serious issues.


I don't think you're right, but that doesn't necessarily mean you have serious issues either. I think it's very understandable, when you've gone through something traumatic (as you have) to question how things could be so radically different now.

FWIW, I often wonder whether what I think of as 'my life' is actually a dream/simulation - if it helps to know that you're not the only one who feels this way :hugs: I think it's natural to question the meaning and nature of life and reality after an attempt :yes:
Original post by Anonymous #1
Mods, please allow me to make this thread anonymously.

A few years ago I tried to end my life.
Things were really not going well for me and I couldn't see how my life could get better. How could I possibly get out of that hole?

But my life now is excellent!

I can't help but sometimes wonder if I did in fact die that day and all of 'this' is just a simulation (a vivid 'dream') as my brain shuts down, or if God is showing me how good my life could have been if I didn't end it.

Making this post anonymously as I'm either right, or I have serious issues.
lol, if you posted this you're obviously alive
in your last sentence, i would say the latter
I can assure you, you’re not the only one who has felt like this - and I don’t think you have serious issues either.

I was in a similar position to you a few years ago - however, I made no attempt. However, as my life became so good in the aftermath, it caused similar thoughts that you’re having.

I believe it could stem from being in such a dark mindset, we’re completely convinced life will never get better. So, therefore, when it does, our brains try to convince us it’s simply not possible we no longer feel like that, and ‘subconsciously’ we reach another conclusion, that were simply not living, which isn’t true.

I really disagree with the idea of all emotions, and thoughts being valid - because it’s untrue. However, don’t kick yourself for thinking this way. Assure yourself it’s not true, and let yourself truly see, and believe, your life has gotten better because of you. Nothing else.
Original post by Anonymous #5
I can assure you, you’re not the only one who has felt like this - and I don’t think you have serious issues either.

I was in a similar position to you a few years ago - however, I made no attempt. However, as my life became so good in the aftermath, it caused similar thoughts that you’re having.

I believe it could stem from being in such a dark mindset, we’re completely convinced life will never get better. So, therefore, when it does, our brains try to convince us it’s simply not possible we no longer feel like that, and ‘subconsciously’ we reach another conclusion, that were simply not living, which isn’t true.

I really disagree with the idea of all emotions, and thoughts being valid - because it’s untrue. However, don’t kick yourself for thinking this way. Assure yourself it’s not true, and let yourself truly see, and believe, your life has gotten better because of you. Nothing else.
Thank you.

Coincidentally, it's5 years ago in 2 days that I uploaded a su***de note on Facebook and headed to that wooded area, later lifted out by police while unconscious.

It's weird because if somebody feeling like that were to ask me "how did you get out of that dark place", I'm not sure what I would say.
Original post by Anonymous #1
Thank you.

Coincidentally, it's5 years ago in 2 days that I uploaded a su***de note on Facebook and headed to that wooded area, later lifted out by police while unconscious.

It's weird because if somebody feeling like that were to ask me "how did you get out of that dark place", I'm not sure what I would say.

:hugs:
Original post by Anonymous #1
Original post by Anonymous #5
I can assure you, you’re not the only one who has felt like this - and I don’t think you have serious issues either.

I was in a similar position to you a few years ago - however, I made no attempt. However, as my life became so good in the aftermath, it caused similar thoughts that you’re having.

I believe it could stem from being in such a dark mindset, we’re completely convinced life will never get better. So, therefore, when it does, our brains try to convince us it’s simply not possible we no longer feel like that, and ‘subconsciously’ we reach another conclusion, that were simply not living, which isn’t true.

I really disagree with the idea of all emotions, and thoughts being valid - because it’s untrue. However, don’t kick yourself for thinking this way. Assure yourself it’s not true, and let yourself truly see, and believe, your life has gotten better because of you. Nothing else.
Thank you.

Coincidentally, it's5 years ago in 2 days that I uploaded a su***de note on Facebook and headed to that wooded area, later lifted out by police while unconscious.

It's weird because if somebody feeling like that were to ask me "how did you get out of that dark place", I'm not sure what I would say.


Congratulations! I’m proud of you!

I completely understand what you mean. I think similarly, I wouldn’t know what I did to turn it around - it just happened. Although, I tell myself something in me wanted to keep going, and the universe wanted me to stick around - and it was going to make sure I did. Perhaps it sound silly, but that’s what I think. I wonder whether it’s because it’s such a gradual, slow change to get to a much, much better place - it doesn’t feel like we did anything, when in reality, it was the tiny decisions, steps and choices we made every day that contributed to us being here today. Who knows, but I’m glad you’re here.
Original post by Anonymous #1
Mods, please allow me to make this thread anonymously.

A few years ago I tried to end my life.
Things were really not going well for me and I couldn't see how my life could get better. How could I possibly get out of that hole?

But my life now is excellent!

I can't help but sometimes wonder if I did in fact die that day and all of 'this' is just a simulation (a vivid 'dream') as my brain shuts down, or if God is showing me how good my life could have been if I didn't end it.

Making this post anonymously as I'm either right, or I have serious issues.


Are you actually stupid? You’re typing with real life fingers? My best advice is to check into a mh hospital x take time to heal darling
Original post by Anonymous #6
Are you actually stupid? You’re typing with real life fingers? My best advice is to check into a mh hospital x take time to heal darling
Have you ever been dreaming and wondered (in the dream) if what you're experiencing is real?
The brain has tremendous power.

I had started to seriously question whether what I'm experiencing now is real in the sense of actually happening, or just me experiencing some good while my brain shuts down.

I'm now accepting that my life really did turn around in a big way.
God doesn't burden a soul more than it can bear. It may just be His way of giving you hope after all the hardship you have suffered, if you want to think about it like that.

As for a vivid dream, perhaps it may not be lasting this long (and therefore not plausible). It's more comforting knowing there is an omnipotent God watching above you who you can talk or pray etc. to. Either way if your life's good, just focus on making the most of it & being grateful!
I think people might find it crazy to think of God's signs through everything that happens and things you experience in your life. But, it's how previous generations saw things and gives me comfort thinking this way, too. It puts my heart more at ease knowing that God may have a better plan, because eventually you find a path that ends up being better.
Original post by Anonymous #7
God doesn't burden a soul more than it can bear. It may just be His way of giving you hope after all the hardship you have suffered, if you want to think about it like that.

As for a vivid dream, perhaps it may not be lasting this long (and therefore not plausible). It's more comforting knowing there is an omnipotent God watching above you who you can talk or pray etc. to. Either way if your life's good, just focus on making the most of it & being grateful!

"God doesn't burden a soul more than it can bear".
That's clearly not true, otherwise people wouldn't choose to end their own lives.

Regardless.

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