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hating college

i’ve just started at college, and to be honest i’m hating it. i have no friends, and everyone else came from the same couple of schools so they already have their groups formed. i’m not a particularly social person, so i don’t actually mind being on my own, but the college is huge (2000 ish people) so i can never find any peace and quiet! the lessons are alright, i’m able to chat to the people i sit next to, i just feel so overwhelmed at break being surrounded by so many people. going into college i wasn’t planning on making friends (i will of course be friendly and if i am able to make friends naturally that’s great, i just won’t be seeking out friends or trying extra hard to make any) so that isn’t something i’m actually concerned about, i just hate the environment / atmosphere. i’m hoping everything will settle down and become a bit calmer over the next few weeks but i’m honestly dreading going in every day. this is just a bit of a rant but i would love any reassurance from anyone who’s gone through the same / a similar situation that it’s going to be okay
Reply 1
just to add - i know a girl who dropped out of the college i go to a few years ago for mental health reasons - i’m not proud to say i didn’t understand it at the time and thought she may have been overreacting (i do know now how wrong that was of me to think) but now i completely get it, it’s a very intimidating place.
i’ve been thinking today about homeschooling as an option for me? it would solve the being overwhelmed issue and i know i have the discipline to do the work myself. however is the content too hard at a level to teach myself without a tutor? im doing 4 a levels at the moment which is obviously a bit more challenging but my gcses were good so im confident i can handle the workload. this is of course assuming my parents would be onboard with the idea (i haven’t brought it up yet) but would the content be too hard for me to learn by myself? i have textbooks but that’s it
Hey, to be honest I am going through a similar situation. I've had to move from sixth form in a school to doing A-levels at college, which has made me restart year 12 again this year. I have went to a college nowhere near where I used to go, so I know no one here and it is all cliquey. The teachers have already gave me tests in the last week and now I have been to anxious to even come in this week- I made it in for a lesson on Tuesday, but my anxiety was triggered and I had to leave so I couldn't even finish the day. I met a couple people last week and they seemed all right but already knew each other so whilst I could hangout with them I was excluded from conversations if you get what I mean. However anyone outside the group could see how fake it is, since they all gave of the energy that they would rather be anywhere else. That was proven when they offered me to come with them to get lunch from the shops down the same street, but all ended up splitting off from each other. Same again with one of them offering to take me to a class we supposedly share since I couldn't come in the previous day because of my anxiety and left me stranded in the middle of a unknown class block making me extremely late (This was Tuesday so I ended up leaving at this point as I mentioned).

I guess what I am trying to say is if your college allows you to leave campus, find a local cafe/restaurant to go to and study/eat there, or if that isn't your cup of tea go to the gym/or do any hobby you like to relax. If you aren't allowed off campus, go to the library and put on some music (should be other facilities there too if you don't want to go to the library). You can also always download a movie. I cannot say all is going to be okay, as I don't even know myself but if you do what you are comfortable with the atmosphere will ease up and you are likely to meet people that way.

Sorry that was a bit of a mouthful😅 Feel free to ask me any questions though and hopefully things will get better:smile:.
Original post by shinyduck21
just to add - i know a girl who dropped out of the college i go to a few years ago for mental health reasons - i’m not proud to say i didn’t understand it at the time and thought she may have been overreacting (i do know now how wrong that was of me to think) but now i completely get it, it’s a very intimidating place.
i’ve been thinking today about homeschooling as an option for me? it would solve the being overwhelmed issue and i know i have the discipline to do the work myself. however is the content too hard at a level to teach myself without a tutor? im doing 4 a levels at the moment which is obviously a bit more challenging but my gcses were good so im confident i can handle the workload. this is of course assuming my parents would be onboard with the idea (i haven’t brought it up yet) but would the content be too hard for me to learn by myself? i have textbooks but that’s it

Hey sorry I am replying to this separately I didn't see this before😅 But I was also considering homeschooling as I didn't know if I could handle doing a repeat year in person however there were a lot of factors. First, you would need a tutor or proper online school like Kings Interhigh for example so that you would have proper teachers- just the course alone doesn't work as many have said the course doesn't necessarily align with the exam you would be taking and tutors can help with how to approach a question. Then there is the costs, all of it was too much- the course, a tutor, the exam fees. However, the most important factor for me was the added stress of applying as an external candidate to sit the exams. They are expensive, you have to find a test centre that does your exam board, ensure your student number and details are all correct- it was all too much. For me at least.

I could potentially send some links to discussions on TSR I have had/seen about this if you want? Also don't worry about not understanding before- I didn't either until last year myself when I experienced it first hand.
Reply 4
Original post by please help me x
Hey, to be honest I am going through a similar situation. I've had to move from sixth form in a school to doing A-levels at college, which has made me restart year 12 again this year. I have went to a college nowhere near where I used to go, so I know no one here and it is all cliquey. The teachers have already gave me tests in the last week and now I have been to anxious to even come in this week- I made it in for a lesson on Tuesday, but my anxiety was triggered and I had to leave so I couldn't even finish the day. I met a couple people last week and they seemed all right but already knew each other so whilst I could hangout with them I was excluded from conversations if you get what I mean. However anyone outside the group could see how fake it is, since they all gave of the energy that they would rather be anywhere else. That was proven when they offered me to come with them to get lunch from the shops down the same street, but all ended up splitting off from each other. Same again with one of them offering to take me to a class we supposedly share since I couldn't come in the previous day because of my anxiety and left me stranded in the middle of a unknown class block making me extremely late (This was Tuesday so I ended up leaving at this point as I mentioned).

I guess what I am trying to say is if your college allows you to leave campus, find a local cafe/restaurant to go to and study/eat there, or if that isn't your cup of tea go to the gym/or do any hobby you like to relax. If you aren't allowed off campus, go to the library and put on some music (should be other facilities there too if you don't want to go to the library). You can also always download a movie. I cannot say all is going to be okay, as I don't even know myself but if you do what you are comfortable with the atmosphere will ease up and you are likely to meet people that way.

Sorry that was a bit of a mouthful😅 Feel free to ask me any questions though and hopefully things will get better:smile:.


ah i’m sorry you’re going through that but it’s reassuring to know i’m not the only one feeling this way. that’s horrible someone led you to the wrong building i’m so sorry that happened!

similar situations have happened to me with the group thing - a few days ago i asked a nice girl i’d spoken to in class if i could hang out with her at break and she said yes and took me to her friends. they did all seem lovely and none of them were horrible to me or anything they just only spoke to each other, which is obviously understandable as they don’t know me it was just so awkward. i’m not blaming them at all i could just tell they’d prefer if i wasn’t there.

we are allowed to leave campus, which i’m very happy about. today i had a few free periods on the other side of lunch so i went to the costa nearby and just sat peacefully by myself and did a bit of work. everyone in the costa was lovely too, and the person working there was so friendly, so i felt very welcome. a few other people from my college were also sitting in there but they were just getting on with their own work and it was nice to not be the only one on my own. i think from next week i’ll start bringing a book / downloaded tv shows to occupy myself during the breaks as they are short (20 minutes) so not really enough time to do any work or leave campus. the area my college is in is lovely too, i might just spend some of my time walking around and exploring ahah. honestly if i’m able to spend my lunches / free periods mostly doing work i might not have to do all that much at home anyway! i’m considering also joining the library local to my college, as that could be somewhere to spend a bit of time if i ever get bored of costa aha.

to be honest i’m a bit scared to go into the college library! i’ve not been in yet so i’m not really sure what the vibe is - like is it mostly a chatty library or a dedicated working library? i’ll definitely make myself go in next week, even if just to see what it’s like. it might end up being my favourite place you never know!
Reply 5
Original post by please help me x
Hey sorry I am replying to this separately I didn't see this before😅 But I was also considering homeschooling as I didn't know if I could handle doing a repeat year in person however there were a lot of factors. First, you would need a tutor or proper online school like Kings Interhigh for example so that you would have proper teachers- just the course alone doesn't work as many have said the course doesn't necessarily align with the exam you would be taking and tutors can help with how to approach a question. Then there is the costs, all of it was too much- the course, a tutor, the exam fees. However, the most important factor for me was the added stress of applying as an external candidate to sit the exams. They are expensive, you have to find a test centre that does your exam board, ensure your student number and details are all correct- it was all too much. For me at least.

I could potentially send some links to discussions on TSR I have had/seen about this if you want? Also don't worry about not understanding before- I didn't either until last year myself when I experienced it first hand.


funny that we both had the same idea about homeschooling ahah! i think i’ve decided im not going to go for it - in theory it sounds like a good idea but i’m not sure realistically i’d be able to teach myself all the content properly. i daren’t look into it but as you say i’m sure tutors are so expensive plus i’d have to find a centre to take my exams, which honestly i cant be bothered to do.

if you can send the links to the discussions you mentioned easily that would be amazing! but please don’t trouble yourself too much on my part.

ik i feel like there was no way i could have understood what she was going through until i started experiencing it myself. it just makes me feel so bad for her.
Reply 6
Original post by please help me x
Hey sorry I am replying to this separately I didn't see this before😅 But I was also considering homeschooling as I didn't know if I could handle doing a repeat year in person however there were a lot of factors. First, you would need a tutor or proper online school like Kings Interhigh for example so that you would have proper teachers- just the course alone doesn't work as many have said the course doesn't necessarily align with the exam you would be taking and tutors can help with how to approach a question. Then there is the costs, all of it was too much- the course, a tutor, the exam fees. However, the most important factor for me was the added stress of applying as an external candidate to sit the exams. They are expensive, you have to find a test centre that does your exam board, ensure your student number and details are all correct- it was all too much. For me at least.

I could potentially send some links to discussions on TSR I have had/seen about this if you want? Also don't worry about not understanding before- I didn't either until last year myself when I experienced it first hand.


thank you so much for responding by the way! it’s nice to know i’m not alone, and you gave me the idea of downloading movies so i’m very grateful! thank you!
Hey, sorry for the late reply- had some family drama these past few days:frown:!

Original post by shinyduck21
ah i’m sorry you’re going through that but it’s reassuring to know i’m not the only one feeling this way. that’s horrible someone led you to the wrong building i’m so sorry that happened!

similar situations have happened to me with the group thing - a few days ago i asked a nice girl i’d spoken to in class if i could hang out with her at break and she said yes and took me to her friends. they did all seem lovely and none of them were horrible to me or anything they just only spoke to each other, which is obviously understandable as they don’t know me it was just so awkward. i’m not blaming them at all i could just tell they’d prefer if i wasn’t there.

we are allowed to leave campus, which i’m very happy about. today i had a few free periods on the other side of lunch so i went to the costa nearby and just sat peacefully by myself and did a bit of work. everyone in the costa was lovely too, and the person working there was so friendly, so i felt very welcome. a few other people from my college were also sitting in there but they were just getting on with their own work and it was nice to not be the only one on my own. i think from next week i’ll start bringing a book / downloaded tv shows to occupy myself during the breaks as they are short (20 minutes) so not really enough time to do any work or leave campus. the area my college is in is lovely too, i might just spend some of my time walking around and exploring ahah. honestly if i’m able to spend my lunches / free periods mostly doing work i might not have to do all that much at home anyway! i’m considering also joining the library local to my college, as that could be somewhere to spend a bit of time if i ever get bored of costa aha.

to be honest i’m a bit scared to go into the college library! i’ve not been in yet so i’m not really sure what the vibe is - like is it mostly a chatty library or a dedicated working library? i’ll definitely make myself go in next week, even if just to see what it’s like. it might end up being my favourite place you never know!


Sorry to hear about the friendship group, It seems that even after GCSE's many people are still somewhat cliquey. It doesn't really matter though as it has probably saved you from trouble in the future- like I know now the type of people they are by being led to the wrong building sort of thing.

It's good to hear about Costa though- that seems like a great place to go! I agree with doing work during breaks as it stays fresh in your mind and you can relax at home/disconnect from college (I find that mixing settings don't work for me like studying in my bedroom). Then with other students doing the same thing as you it sounds reassuring and maybe even motivating going to Costa's.

In regards to the library, definitely join! If you ever have an assignment due and need sources, the library is great as it has them for free. I am sure other counties do it as well, but for example Kent libraries have many audiobooks, magazines and newspapers online you can access for free as well if you join so I definitely recommend it. With the college library, everywhere is different. In my case though, I have found that there is one area by our student union that is chatty where as every other part of the library is more or less quiet. It should be fine if you have headphones though. Saying that have you managed to go check it out yet?
Original post by shinyduck21
funny that we both had the same idea about homeschooling ahah! i think i’ve decided im not going to go for it - in theory it sounds like a good idea but i’m not sure realistically i’d be able to teach myself all the content properly. i daren’t look into it but as you say i’m sure tutors are so expensive plus i’d have to find a centre to take my exams, which honestly i cant be bothered to do.

if you can send the links to the discussions you mentioned easily that would be amazing! but please don’t trouble yourself too much on my part.

ik i feel like there was no way i could have understood what she was going through until i started experiencing it myself. it just makes me feel so bad for her.

That is fair enough- In the end I have included the link to the search page I used and found things on, as well as the general private A-level thread. Even though you aren't going to do homeschooling now it is still good to see others experiences and recommendations.

https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/search/discussions?query=homeschool+a+levels&page=2

https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7261185

We can't change the past though so i am afraid we will just have to live with feeling guilty for not getting it back then- just have help others try to understand now instead so they don't go through something similar.
Original post by shinyduck21
thank you so much for responding by the way! it’s nice to know i’m not alone, and you gave me the idea of downloading movies so i’m very grateful! thank you!


I am glad I have helped:smile: How are you and how is the friend situation going if you don't mind me asking?
(edited 9 months ago)
Reply 10
Original post by please help me x
Hey, sorry for the late reply- had some family drama these past few days:frown:!



Sorry to hear about the friendship group, It seems that even after GCSE's many people are still somewhat cliquey. It doesn't really matter though as it has probably saved you from trouble in the future- like I know now the type of people they are by being led to the wrong building sort of thing.

It's good to hear about Costa though- that seems like a great place to go! I agree with doing work during breaks as it stays fresh in your mind and you can relax at home/disconnect from college (I find that mixing settings don't work for me like studying in my bedroom). Then with other students doing the same thing as you it sounds reassuring and maybe even motivating going to Costa's.

In regards to the library, definitely join! If you ever have an assignment due and need sources, the library is great as it has them for free. I am sure other counties do it as well, but for example Kent libraries have many audiobooks, magazines and newspapers online you can access for free as well if you join so I definitely recommend it. With the college library, everywhere is different. In my case though, I have found that there is one area by our student union that is chatty where as every other part of the library is more or less quiet. It should be fine if you have headphones though. Saying that have you managed to go check it out yet?


dont worry at all!! i hope everythings okay with your family drama!

agh i know, i hoped people would at least be willing to chat to new people even if they didnt end up becoming friends. yeah if anything im glad i realised they were a bit cliquey sooner rather than later - i really wouldnt want to have wasted effort trying to become friends with them.

im so happy i found the costa actually, it means i can have a different environment where everyones a bit more calm. the only problem is its a bit of a walk from college, which i dont mind, it just means i can only go when i have say 2 periods free to make it 'worth it'. with that said ive been managing to get most of my work done before i get home, which means i can just spend the rest of the time relaxing. im the same with not being able to work in my bedroom - everything i do at home takes twice as long and just isnt as good because i get distracted so easily aha.

i think i am going to join the local library! i havent been to it yet but im sure its got something to offer - whether thats just a change of environment for working or it has good resources. i did go into the college library yesterday! its kind of split in half, one half is like a chatty / not quiet zone and one half is a silent study zone - theyre even telling people off for being too loud with their paper aha. it was pretty busy but i managed to get some work done, and ill definitely be going back, probably at lunchtimes.
Reply 11
Original post by please help me x
That is fair enough- In the end I have included the link to the search page I used and found things on, as well as the general private A-level thread. Even though you aren't going to do homeschooling now it is still good to see others experiences and recommendations.

https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/search/discussions?query=homeschool+a+levels&page=2

https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7261185

We can't change the past though so i am afraid we will just have to live with feeling guilty for not getting it back then- just have help others try to understand now instead so they don't go through something similar.


ah thank you so much! even though im not going to be homeschooling ive always found homeschooling so interesting aha, ill have a read.
Reply 12
Original post by please help me x
I am glad I have helped:smile: How are you and how is the friend situation going if you don't mind me asking?


im good thanks for asking! i think ive made a friend in my chemistry class - i spoke to her at break today and she texted me later on (about the homework but it still counts lmao). shes lovely and we have so much in common, plus its nice just to have a friendly face in class. i spoke to 2 girls in my psychology class as well, and although i dont think we'll be friends outside of class but its nice to be able to chat to them a bit during class. ive mostly been reading / just wandering around during the short breaks - ive made peace with the fact that ill mostly be by myself, and ive spotted a few other people sitting by themselves, which makes me feel a bit less alone.

how are you doing! have you found anyone you could see yourself becoming friends with? :smile:
Original post by shinyduck21
i’ve just started at college, and to be honest i’m hating it. i have no friends, and everyone else came from the same couple of schools so they already have their groups formed. i’m not a particularly social person, so i don’t actually mind being on my own, but the college is huge (2000 ish people) so i can never find any peace and quiet! the lessons are alright, i’m able to chat to the people i sit next to, i just feel so overwhelmed at break being surrounded by so many people. going into college i wasn’t planning on making friends (i will of course be friendly and if i am able to make friends naturally that’s great, i just won’t be seeking out friends or trying extra hard to make any) so that isn’t something i’m actually concerned about, i just hate the environment / atmosphere. i’m hoping everything will settle down and become a bit calmer over the next few weeks but i’m honestly dreading going in every day. this is just a bit of a rant but i would love any reassurance from anyone who’s gone through the same / a similar situation that it’s going to be okay


This was me a year ago and I promise it gets better!
I'm still not as close with the ppl on my course as they are with each other but I have friends and acquaintances both on my class and in others. I just made myself be more social and crack jokes occasionally, and ppl started warming up to me.
Reply 14
Original post by seaqueen6457
This was me a year ago and I promise it gets better!
I'm still not as close with the ppl on my course as they are with each other but I have friends and acquaintances both on my class and in others. I just made myself be more social and crack jokes occasionally, and ppl started warming up to me.


that’s reassuring to hear, thank you! yeah i’m not really looking for a new ‘best friend’ but it would be nice to have people im friendly with, which i think i’m making a bit of progress at… we’ll see aha

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