Self comparison
I've always felt like I have to compete with other people at everything and it's really tiring. What makes it worse is that I am never the best out of everybody else and it really hurts. I try to use that jealousy and use it to work harder but it just doesn't work. It just makes me annoyed and hate myself and even stupid for trying in the first place.
I just started Y12 last month and I feel so stupid compared to everyone else, and I constantly ask myself if I should just stop trying completely because it's embarrassing.
I try so hard every day to focus on myself, but I constantly find myself comparing myself to others not only academically but in other areas of my life too. I feel like it's really dragging me down and it makes me feel unmotivated. Pls what should I do?
I just started Y12 last month and I feel so stupid compared to everyone else, and I constantly ask myself if I should just stop trying completely because it's embarrassing.
I try so hard every day to focus on myself, but I constantly find myself comparing myself to others not only academically but in other areas of my life too. I feel like it's really dragging me down and it makes me feel unmotivated. Pls what should I do?
Hi there 
It is very interesting question because I think that we all have this hidden competitive nature but what I found helpful is to let go of all comparison. Just stop comparing yourself to other people. It is to gain understanding that we all are unique in a different way and therefore comparison only creates stress, pressure and health issues. What YOU have, others do not have, and vice versa. The way out of comparison is to tap in to your authenticity and just be yourself without any fear of judgement from others of thinking "What others will think about me".
Good luck
Lucie
PhD student
Student ambassador
Cranfield university
It is very interesting question because I think that we all have this hidden competitive nature but what I found helpful is to let go of all comparison. Just stop comparing yourself to other people. It is to gain understanding that we all are unique in a different way and therefore comparison only creates stress, pressure and health issues. What YOU have, others do not have, and vice versa. The way out of comparison is to tap in to your authenticity and just be yourself without any fear of judgement from others of thinking "What others will think about me".
Good luck
Lucie
PhD student
Student ambassador
Cranfield university
There’s a few things going on:
Stop comparing yourself with others right across the board. You will be better at things than others and via versa. It just gives you extra stress. Instead do it for you and not others. Make it a competition with yourself. In other words. If you got a score in a test try to get a better score in the next.
Don’t be depressed by others successes. You don’t know what’s been going on in their lives. They maybe going through crap and struggle just like you.
Study smarter - get to know your learning type and what works for you and use it. Explore You Tube for channels on how others reached the grades you want and see if you can try out some. Things like flash cards, deep focus, mind maps, acronyms, and mnemonics etc.
Don’t worry about folks at school, as an adult your rarely keep in touch with those you have your educational career with.
You can achieve your wildest dreams and achieve the grades you need. Just get focused and motivate yourself. It brings a self discipline and strength. Make it a competition with yourself.
How do you do this you ask? Build habits. Sit down every day and don’t move until you’ve done your planned study. Don’t use your phone or play music. Just think through the material to get understanding. It’s like playing a computer game or sport- regular practice. Just say to yourself I’m doing it and I’m going to get the best ever grade. I’m going to do it for me and no one is going to stop me. Be your own best cheer leader. You can do this. It just takes habits to do it. If you hear doubts in your mind push it aside, your are simply not going to think negative at all. You can do this. Take the first steps to a better and brighter place and achieve your wildest dreams.
Stop comparing yourself with others right across the board. You will be better at things than others and via versa. It just gives you extra stress. Instead do it for you and not others. Make it a competition with yourself. In other words. If you got a score in a test try to get a better score in the next.
Don’t be depressed by others successes. You don’t know what’s been going on in their lives. They maybe going through crap and struggle just like you.
Study smarter - get to know your learning type and what works for you and use it. Explore You Tube for channels on how others reached the grades you want and see if you can try out some. Things like flash cards, deep focus, mind maps, acronyms, and mnemonics etc.
Don’t worry about folks at school, as an adult your rarely keep in touch with those you have your educational career with.
You can achieve your wildest dreams and achieve the grades you need. Just get focused and motivate yourself. It brings a self discipline and strength. Make it a competition with yourself.
How do you do this you ask? Build habits. Sit down every day and don’t move until you’ve done your planned study. Don’t use your phone or play music. Just think through the material to get understanding. It’s like playing a computer game or sport- regular practice. Just say to yourself I’m doing it and I’m going to get the best ever grade. I’m going to do it for me and no one is going to stop me. Be your own best cheer leader. You can do this. It just takes habits to do it. If you hear doubts in your mind push it aside, your are simply not going to think negative at all. You can do this. Take the first steps to a better and brighter place and achieve your wildest dreams.
(edited 6 months ago)
Original post by Cranfield University
Hi there
It is very interesting question because I think that we all have this hidden competitive nature but what I found helpful is to let go of all comparison. Just stop comparing yourself to other people. It is to gain understanding that we all are unique in a different way and therefore comparison only creates stress, pressure and health issues. What YOU have, others do not have, and vice versa. The way out of comparison is to tap in to your authenticity and just be yourself without any fear of judgement from others of thinking "What others will think about me".
Good luck
Lucie
PhD student
Student ambassador
Cranfield university
It is very interesting question because I think that we all have this hidden competitive nature but what I found helpful is to let go of all comparison. Just stop comparing yourself to other people. It is to gain understanding that we all are unique in a different way and therefore comparison only creates stress, pressure and health issues. What YOU have, others do not have, and vice versa. The way out of comparison is to tap in to your authenticity and just be yourself without any fear of judgement from others of thinking "What others will think about me".
Good luck
Lucie
PhD student
Student ambassador
Cranfield university
Thank you sm! This was really helpful I'll definitely try have this outlook more
Original post by Heatherthebat
There’s a few things going on:
Stop comparing yourself with others right across the board. You will be better at things than others and via versa. It just gives you extra stress. Instead do it for you and not others. Make it a competition with yourself. In other words. If you got a score in a test try to get a better score in the next.
Don’t be depressed by others successes. You don’t know what’s been going on in their lives. They maybe going through crap and struggle just like you.
Study smarter - get to know your learning type and what works for you and use it. Explore You Tube for channels on how others reached the grades you want and see if you can try out some. Things like flash cards, deep focus, mind maps, acronyms, and mnemonics etc.
Don’t worry about folks at school, as an adult your rarely keep in touch with those you have your educational career with.
You can achieve your wildest dreams and achieve the grades you need. Just get focused and motivate yourself. It brings a self discipline and strength. Make it a competition with yourself.
How do you do this you ask? Build habits. Sit down every day and don’t move until you’ve done your planned study. Don’t use your phone or play music. Just think through the material to get understanding. It’s like playing a computer game or sport- regular practice. Just say to yourself I’m doing it and I’m going to get the best ever grade. I’m going to do it for me and no one is going to stop me. Be your own best cheer leader. You can do this. It just takes habits to do it. If you hear doubts in your mind push it aside, your are simply not going to think negative at all. You can do this. Take the first steps to a better and brighter place and achieve your wildest dreams.
Stop comparing yourself with others right across the board. You will be better at things than others and via versa. It just gives you extra stress. Instead do it for you and not others. Make it a competition with yourself. In other words. If you got a score in a test try to get a better score in the next.
Don’t be depressed by others successes. You don’t know what’s been going on in their lives. They maybe going through crap and struggle just like you.
Study smarter - get to know your learning type and what works for you and use it. Explore You Tube for channels on how others reached the grades you want and see if you can try out some. Things like flash cards, deep focus, mind maps, acronyms, and mnemonics etc.
Don’t worry about folks at school, as an adult your rarely keep in touch with those you have your educational career with.
You can achieve your wildest dreams and achieve the grades you need. Just get focused and motivate yourself. It brings a self discipline and strength. Make it a competition with yourself.
How do you do this you ask? Build habits. Sit down every day and don’t move until you’ve done your planned study. Don’t use your phone or play music. Just think through the material to get understanding. It’s like playing a computer game or sport- regular practice. Just say to yourself I’m doing it and I’m going to get the best ever grade. I’m going to do it for me and no one is going to stop me. Be your own best cheer leader. You can do this. It just takes habits to do it. If you hear doubts in your mind push it aside, your are simply not going to think negative at all. You can do this. Take the first steps to a better and brighter place and achieve your wildest dreams.
Thanks a lot, this was really reassuring and I think it will help me a lot with changing my mindset. Thank you this is really motivational
I honestly felt the same, and I used to find myself in the same position that you are. But like all the other replies, it's about your mindset, don't worry or waste your time thinking about other people, it's not worth it. Only compete with the person that you were yesterday, try improving your habits and getting yourself disciplined. Other people's successes are not your losses and vice versa, you are the only person to focus on, you are the only person who knows you.
Original post by Heatherthebat
There’s a few things going on:
Stop comparing yourself with others right across the board. You will be better at things than others and via versa. It just gives you extra stress. Instead do it for you and not others. Make it a competition with yourself. In other words. If you got a score in a test try to get a better score in the next.
Don’t be depressed by others successes. You don’t know what’s been going on in their lives. They maybe going through crap and struggle just like you.
Study smarter - get to know your learning type and what works for you and use it. Explore You Tube for channels on how others reached the grades you want and see if you can try out some. Things like flash cards, deep focus, mind maps, acronyms, and mnemonics etc.
Don’t worry about folks at school, as an adult your rarely keep in touch with those you have your educational career with.
You can achieve your wildest dreams and achieve the grades you need. Just get focused and motivate yourself. It brings a self discipline and strength. Make it a competition with yourself.
How do you do this you ask? Build habits. Sit down every day and don’t move until you’ve done your planned study. Don’t use your phone or play music. Just think through the material to get understanding. It’s like playing a computer game or sport- regular practice. Just say to yourself I’m doing it and I’m going to get the best ever grade. I’m going to do it for me and no one is going to stop me. Be your own best cheer leader. You can do this. It just takes habits to do it. If you hear doubts in your mind push it aside, your are simply not going to think negative at all. You can do this. Take the first steps to a better and brighter place and achieve your wildest dreams.
Stop comparing yourself with others right across the board. You will be better at things than others and via versa. It just gives you extra stress. Instead do it for you and not others. Make it a competition with yourself. In other words. If you got a score in a test try to get a better score in the next.
Don’t be depressed by others successes. You don’t know what’s been going on in their lives. They maybe going through crap and struggle just like you.
Study smarter - get to know your learning type and what works for you and use it. Explore You Tube for channels on how others reached the grades you want and see if you can try out some. Things like flash cards, deep focus, mind maps, acronyms, and mnemonics etc.
Don’t worry about folks at school, as an adult your rarely keep in touch with those you have your educational career with.
You can achieve your wildest dreams and achieve the grades you need. Just get focused and motivate yourself. It brings a self discipline and strength. Make it a competition with yourself.
How do you do this you ask? Build habits. Sit down every day and don’t move until you’ve done your planned study. Don’t use your phone or play music. Just think through the material to get understanding. It’s like playing a computer game or sport- regular practice. Just say to yourself I’m doing it and I’m going to get the best ever grade. I’m going to do it for me and no one is going to stop me. Be your own best cheer leader. You can do this. It just takes habits to do it. If you hear doubts in your mind push it aside, your are simply not going to think negative at all. You can do this. Take the first steps to a better and brighter place and achieve your wildest dreams.
wow - thank you so much! this was very uplifting <3
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