Gap Year Struggling / Mental Health
Originally I didn’t plan on taking a gap year, but after multiple family members prompted me too and I feared I might have to retake my A-levels following the examinations I decided it would be the best idea. I ended up getting into my uni of choice, which I was thrilled by, however had already emailed them about a deferral which they agreed to. Now I’m almost 2 months into my gap year. I work solidly 4 days of the week, the other three days I either spend learning to drive or relax. Practically all of my close friends have gone to uni, which has been very difficult for me. Though we text and FaceTime regularly, most trips to visit them are just too far given my work schedule. I’ve gone from being relaxed, to feeling incredibly lonely and depressed. I have OCD also, which has recently reared its ugly head again given I no longer stress over college or am distracted by friends - I find myself panicking and getting deeply upset over the stupidest of things and this has taken a major toll on my overall mental health and self-confidence. I am beginning to regret taking a gap year, and can’t help but feel like a failure when I see pictures of my friends online all having great times at their unis and bragging about freshers, constant partying, making new friends etc. My parents have noticed this shift in me too, and have urged me to contact my GP and get in touch with a therapist, I haven’t seen my previous one in years. Therapy is expensive & my previous experiences haven’t been great, so I thought I’d reach out on here for some potential advice before I decide to make that decision. I’d be very grateful for any tips or if anyone can relate to these struggles. Many thanks 
Hi,
I’m also taking a gap year. I decided to, as I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to pursue a degree in Psychology or History, but I have applied for History this year (I didn’t defer, I needed the summer to decide) as I have discovered it is my true passion. I have so far received offers from York and Sheffield (waiting on Cambridge, Durham and Warwick 🤞). I was planning to travel this year, but I’ve decided this just wasn’t right for me, particularly as uni is so expensive, although I am going abroad somewhere in Feb. Instead, I have a German tutor, and am learning the language, I dance and am volunteering, learning to drive. I’m planning on getting a job soon. However, because I’ve applied for Cambridge I have to keep Nov and Dec free in case of the HAA and an interview, so at the moment I’m a bit stuck in limbo!
I know what you mean about seeing your friends at uni having fun, (although I am lucky in that my friends don’t post on social media much, in fact one is completely inactive, and the others are doing apprenticeship degrees, so
are at home!) But you have to understand that this year is going to be such a great experience in terms of maturing. Some of your friends may have never worked before, and taking a break (for me) was well needed. Good grades in A levels come at a cost, and I was actually very Ill at the end of A-levels- they destroyed a part of me that I want to get back this year. I don’t know whether this was the same for you, but being able to do my own thing, read as many books as I want, watch what I want etc… is so important. This is the year to find who you are without being in the constraints of a school environment. Also, learn to be happy by yourself. Initially this year, I thought of my friends often, but I’m doing so many other things that I forget about them! I’ve only FaceTimed them once since September. They will make new friends/have done, but that’s OK.
I do miss my teachers, the routine of school and seeing my friends everyday, and at the end of summer when my friends were going to uni, I tended to idolise the idea of being in school again. But the reality of it is, for me Year 13 at times was really terrible! The opportunity this year you have to do pretty much whatever you want, will not come again soon, or may never come again- when you go to uni it’s sort of constant from then onwards for a lot of your adult life. Try and do all the things you wanted to do when you were doing your A-levels that you couldn’t do. Pick up a hobby! Learning to crochet is a good one, and so is learning a language. Also, if you can, spend time with your. During A levels I was stuck in my room revising constantly, and missed out on so much quality time with them. I want to make up for this this year.
I am lucky that I have siblings who are still at my school, and teachers I am still in contact with, and I understand other people may not have this. If you want to chat more, I am absolutely happy for you to private message me.
I hope this helps. Know that I felt the same way as you initially, but learnt quickly that this year is actually very sacred!
I’m also taking a gap year. I decided to, as I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to pursue a degree in Psychology or History, but I have applied for History this year (I didn’t defer, I needed the summer to decide) as I have discovered it is my true passion. I have so far received offers from York and Sheffield (waiting on Cambridge, Durham and Warwick 🤞). I was planning to travel this year, but I’ve decided this just wasn’t right for me, particularly as uni is so expensive, although I am going abroad somewhere in Feb. Instead, I have a German tutor, and am learning the language, I dance and am volunteering, learning to drive. I’m planning on getting a job soon. However, because I’ve applied for Cambridge I have to keep Nov and Dec free in case of the HAA and an interview, so at the moment I’m a bit stuck in limbo!
I know what you mean about seeing your friends at uni having fun, (although I am lucky in that my friends don’t post on social media much, in fact one is completely inactive, and the others are doing apprenticeship degrees, so
are at home!) But you have to understand that this year is going to be such a great experience in terms of maturing. Some of your friends may have never worked before, and taking a break (for me) was well needed. Good grades in A levels come at a cost, and I was actually very Ill at the end of A-levels- they destroyed a part of me that I want to get back this year. I don’t know whether this was the same for you, but being able to do my own thing, read as many books as I want, watch what I want etc… is so important. This is the year to find who you are without being in the constraints of a school environment. Also, learn to be happy by yourself. Initially this year, I thought of my friends often, but I’m doing so many other things that I forget about them! I’ve only FaceTimed them once since September. They will make new friends/have done, but that’s OK.
I do miss my teachers, the routine of school and seeing my friends everyday, and at the end of summer when my friends were going to uni, I tended to idolise the idea of being in school again. But the reality of it is, for me Year 13 at times was really terrible! The opportunity this year you have to do pretty much whatever you want, will not come again soon, or may never come again- when you go to uni it’s sort of constant from then onwards for a lot of your adult life. Try and do all the things you wanted to do when you were doing your A-levels that you couldn’t do. Pick up a hobby! Learning to crochet is a good one, and so is learning a language. Also, if you can, spend time with your. During A levels I was stuck in my room revising constantly, and missed out on so much quality time with them. I want to make up for this this year.
I am lucky that I have siblings who are still at my school, and teachers I am still in contact with, and I understand other people may not have this. If you want to chat more, I am absolutely happy for you to private message me.
I hope this helps. Know that I felt the same way as you initially, but learnt quickly that this year is actually very sacred!
Original post by Anonymous
Originally I didn’t plan on taking a gap year, but after multiple family members prompted me too and I feared I might have to retake my A-levels following the examinations I decided it would be the best idea. I ended up getting into my uni of choice, which I was thrilled by, however had already emailed them about a deferral which they agreed to. Now I’m almost 2 months into my gap year. I work solidly 4 days of the week, the other three days I either spend learning to drive or relax. Practically all of my close friends have gone to uni, which has been very difficult for me. Though we text and FaceTime regularly, most trips to visit them are just too far given my work schedule. I’ve gone from being relaxed, to feeling incredibly lonely and depressed. I have OCD also, which has recently reared its ugly head again given I no longer stress over college or am distracted by friends - I find myself panicking and getting deeply upset over the stupidest of things and this has taken a major toll on my overall mental health and self-confidence. I am beginning to regret taking a gap year, and can’t help but feel like a failure when I see pictures of my friends online all having great times at their unis and bragging about freshers, constant partying, making new friends etc. My parents have noticed this shift in me too, and have urged me to contact my GP and get in touch with a therapist, I haven’t seen my previous one in years. Therapy is expensive & my previous experiences haven’t been great, so I thought I’d reach out on here for some potential advice before I decide to make that decision. I’d be very grateful for any tips or if anyone can relate to these struggles. Many thanks
Hey,
I am really sorry that you are feeling alone and down at the moment, and I wanted to say firstly that it was really brave of you to open up and ask for advice. While I did not take a gap year myself, many of my friends did and many of them felt how you were feeling especially at the start of the Uni term. It can be difficult when you are used to being at school and the year groups are very defined to feel like you are falling behind, but when you get to uni, lots of people have taken gap years (often multiple) and you won't feel like you have missed out. Social media can make things much harder too as you see people posting the highlights of their experiences or trying to create a picture of a life that can be very different to reality. It could be worth removing social media for a while to see if it helps, you can still keep in contact with friends through messaging apps but you will be more in control over the content you are exposed to. While what you are experiencing at the moment is not very nice, it is not unusual that your mood has taken a dip as you have come away from having regular structure in your life. It could be worth exploring some new hobbies if you think that could help - you could do something relaxing that means you can still relax but keep your mind and body more occupied and away from overthinking. It could also help to find people who are also not at University or studying at the moment.
It terms of therapy, if the option is there, then it might be useful to see if you find it helpful. It can take a few tries before you find a therapist that you can connect with, and if it is not working for you, do not be afraid to say that and find another therapist. They will not be offended as it is just personal preference.
I want to reiterate that you have done so well for talking about it, and I hope that more people on here reach out to you, so you know that you are not alone in feeling like this.
Evie (4th year medic at UoS)
You an get support and there is a lot of support out there such as:
-The Samaritans, you can call 116 123, which is available 24 hours a day
-Mind, 0300 123 3393
-Saneline, 0300 304 7000, from 4.30pm-10.30pm
-The mix, 0800 808 4994, 11am-11pm
-SHOUT, text 852258, 24 hour text service
-Crises, 741741, text service
-Papyrus, 0800 068 4141, if you have thoughts of suicide or in emotional distress
-Rethink mental health, 0300 5000 927
-No Panic, 0800 138 8889
-relate, they have a chat advisor
There is the mind forum
Also Facebook groups
You can join support groups
You can contact a crises team if things get very bad
Plenty of resources online, information regarding well being
-The Samaritans, you can call 116 123, which is available 24 hours a day
-Mind, 0300 123 3393
-Saneline, 0300 304 7000, from 4.30pm-10.30pm
-The mix, 0800 808 4994, 11am-11pm
-SHOUT, text 852258, 24 hour text service
-Crises, 741741, text service
-Papyrus, 0800 068 4141, if you have thoughts of suicide or in emotional distress
-Rethink mental health, 0300 5000 927
-No Panic, 0800 138 8889
-relate, they have a chat advisor
There is the mind forum
Also Facebook groups
You can join support groups
You can contact a crises team if things get very bad
Plenty of resources online, information regarding well being
Original post by Analyst89
You an get support and there is a lot of support out there such as:
-The Samaritans, you can call 116 123, which is available 24 hours a day
-Mind, 0300 123 3393
-Saneline, 0300 304 7000, from 4.30pm-10.30pm
-The mix, 0800 808 4994, 11am-11pm
-SHOUT, text 852258, 24 hour text service
-Crises, 741741, text service
-Papyrus, 0800 068 4141, if you have thoughts of suicide or in emotional distress
-Rethink mental health, 0300 5000 927
-No Panic, 0800 138 8889
-relate, they have a chat advisor
There is the mind forum
Also Facebook groups
You can join support groups
You can contact a crises team if things get very bad
Plenty of resources online, information regarding well being
-The Samaritans, you can call 116 123, which is available 24 hours a day
-Mind, 0300 123 3393
-Saneline, 0300 304 7000, from 4.30pm-10.30pm
-The mix, 0800 808 4994, 11am-11pm
-SHOUT, text 852258, 24 hour text service
-Crises, 741741, text service
-Papyrus, 0800 068 4141, if you have thoughts of suicide or in emotional distress
-Rethink mental health, 0300 5000 927
-No Panic, 0800 138 8889
-relate, they have a chat advisor
There is the mind forum
Also Facebook groups
You can join support groups
You can contact a crises team if things get very bad
Plenty of resources online, information regarding well being
i live in india and here helplines are paid . will it be helpful for me to contact the websites which you have written here?
