What should I say to my mum for comparing me to my sister?
I’ve been going through a bad bout of depression in the last couple of years, i only recently realised how bad I have been feeling. I dropped out of uni 7 months ago and moved back home with my parents.
I know I have been pretty lazy but I feel so unmotivated- I got a job a few months ago and pay my parents £30 a week which is obviously very helpful and nice of them. But my mum keeps comparing me to everyone else basically telling me im a loser for not getting medical help with my depression. My sister struggles with depression too but my mum told me “she has done something and got on with her life” but my sister has had depression since she was 15 and is now 30- im nearly 21 and only felt deep depression for the last 2/3 years so I didn’t really understand what was wrong, I thought I was just being lazy but some days I feel useless and embarrassed for not feeling like doing anything with my life.
Should I listen to my mum? I am going to get help but what she says makes me feel worse, she says she’s only trying to help but when she tells me im a loser and I should be living my life it makes me feel sadder than I already am.
At uni I was still depressed but I had friends that helped and didn’t judge me for feeling bad. I have been able to save up some money living back home but my parents don’t seem to understand I’m not being lazy on purpose I genuinely worry I’ll never get better even with a doctors help as I know other friends/ family have had medication and it doesn’t really work.
To summarise: I know I need to get help etc. but is my mum right? I know it’s bad to dwell on things but some days I find it really hard to get out of bed and make myself something to eat
I know I have been pretty lazy but I feel so unmotivated- I got a job a few months ago and pay my parents £30 a week which is obviously very helpful and nice of them. But my mum keeps comparing me to everyone else basically telling me im a loser for not getting medical help with my depression. My sister struggles with depression too but my mum told me “she has done something and got on with her life” but my sister has had depression since she was 15 and is now 30- im nearly 21 and only felt deep depression for the last 2/3 years so I didn’t really understand what was wrong, I thought I was just being lazy but some days I feel useless and embarrassed for not feeling like doing anything with my life.
Should I listen to my mum? I am going to get help but what she says makes me feel worse, she says she’s only trying to help but when she tells me im a loser and I should be living my life it makes me feel sadder than I already am.
At uni I was still depressed but I had friends that helped and didn’t judge me for feeling bad. I have been able to save up some money living back home but my parents don’t seem to understand I’m not being lazy on purpose I genuinely worry I’ll never get better even with a doctors help as I know other friends/ family have had medication and it doesn’t really work.
To summarise: I know I need to get help etc. but is my mum right? I know it’s bad to dwell on things but some days I find it really hard to get out of bed and make myself something to eat
Original post by Anonymous #1
I’ve been going through a bad bout of depression in the last couple of years, i only recently realised how bad I have been feeling. I dropped out of uni 7 months ago and moved back home with my parents.
I know I have been pretty lazy but I feel so unmotivated- I got a job a few months ago and pay my parents £30 a week which is obviously very helpful and nice of them. But my mum keeps comparing me to everyone else basically telling me im a loser for not getting medical help with my depression. My sister struggles with depression too but my mum told me “she has done something and got on with her life” but my sister has had depression since she was 15 and is now 30- im nearly 21 and only felt deep depression for the last 2/3 years so I didn’t really understand what was wrong, I thought I was just being lazy but some days I feel useless and embarrassed for not feeling like doing anything with my life.
Should I listen to my mum? I am going to get help but what she says makes me feel worse, she says she’s only trying to help but when she tells me im a loser and I should be living my life it makes me feel sadder than I already am.
At uni I was still depressed but I had friends that helped and didn’t judge me for feeling bad. I have been able to save up some money living back home but my parents don’t seem to understand I’m not being lazy on purpose I genuinely worry I’ll never get better even with a doctors help as I know other friends/ family have had medication and it doesn’t really work.
To summarise: I know I need to get help etc. but is my mum right? I know it’s bad to dwell on things but some days I find it really hard to get out of bed and make myself something to eat
I know I have been pretty lazy but I feel so unmotivated- I got a job a few months ago and pay my parents £30 a week which is obviously very helpful and nice of them. But my mum keeps comparing me to everyone else basically telling me im a loser for not getting medical help with my depression. My sister struggles with depression too but my mum told me “she has done something and got on with her life” but my sister has had depression since she was 15 and is now 30- im nearly 21 and only felt deep depression for the last 2/3 years so I didn’t really understand what was wrong, I thought I was just being lazy but some days I feel useless and embarrassed for not feeling like doing anything with my life.
Should I listen to my mum? I am going to get help but what she says makes me feel worse, she says she’s only trying to help but when she tells me im a loser and I should be living my life it makes me feel sadder than I already am.
At uni I was still depressed but I had friends that helped and didn’t judge me for feeling bad. I have been able to save up some money living back home but my parents don’t seem to understand I’m not being lazy on purpose I genuinely worry I’ll never get better even with a doctors help as I know other friends/ family have had medication and it doesn’t really work.
To summarise: I know I need to get help etc. but is my mum right? I know it’s bad to dwell on things but some days I find it really hard to get out of bed and make myself something to eat
Stop making your Mum/sister/relatives/other people the excuse. Your argument above is just deflecting. Go and speak to your GP.
