The Student Room Group

Don't know what to do with my life.

I went to uni in September but I couldn't handle it and came home after a few weeks. The whole time I was there I felt really alone, stressed, both under and overwhelmed and as much as I tried I couldn't talk to anyone, not even the people in my accommodation. I came home and I'm now doing volunteering work at a local charity shop in its book department and I'm really liking it. Me and my parents decided I would try again in August but now it's like I've got a countdown timer over my head of those 8 months. I really don't feel ready for uni but I'm scared of what my Mother and Father will say if I tell them because my Father, when I first came back, almost immediately started trying to get me to look for a ful time paying job. I'm autistic and dyslexic and I struggle with anxiety. I know nothing about taxes, bills and other "adult" things and every time I try to understand I just get more confused. I really want to just working at the charity shop because thr people there are SUPER nice and understanding. I have a horrible habit of zoning out super easy so I'm not even sure if I should learn to drive so I can travel. I've got no friends here as they've all either moved or are at uni. My older Brother is in uni and he's loving it so I feel even more pressured to just be normal and go bit he's got friends and lives with them. I really need some advice and I know this may sound childish or lazy bit I really don't know what to do. Thanks in advance.
If you're enjoying working in the charity shop have you tried applying for jobs in book shops and libraries nearby to you?
Getting some paid experience would give you more chance of finding similar work when you go to university (especially if you can get a job in a chain of bookshops locally - often companies like that will let you transfer to a different store easily) - and as you've found at the charity shop working with people is often a really good way to make friends and get some stability and support in your life :smile:
Reply 2
Ah - I'm so sorry this happened. When I was 18, I lasted a year and dropped out and worked for 10 years before going back to uni last year. I just felt it was the right time when I was about 28, because I had all that life experience under my belt to help me out (and it has helped out hugely).

You're transitioning at the moment from childhood to adulthood, and there will be some teething issues along the way and into your early twenties. For example, how to conduct yourself in the workplace, how to deal with things like bills, taxes (taken out of your pay automatically) and living by yourself or with others. I suspect that your father is trying to help you get the ball rolling with doing "something" now you're an adult.

Some people are readier than others for the transition.

My advice is to only go back to university if you really want to, but set yourself these following conditions:

It's at a university where you feel comfortable - perhaps your nearest one?

It's a course or subject you really enjoy

You know what opportunities are available to you after your degree (so you know why you're there in the first place)

The key to success, I believe for your situation, is that you change as little about your life as possible when going to uni.
Like myself, my condition was that I got into a specific uni, so I could still live where I live (and have my friends etc, and know the area), and the only thing I was changing was where I was going Mon-Fri 9-5.
(edited 5 months ago)
Honestly I could have thought that I had written this post. I couldn't handle uni either did a gap year and came back dreading it but I'm abosolutley loving it. I know that might not help but let me know if you have any questions (I'm also autistic)

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