english-creative writing

how many marks would this get?

Sweet sleep stolen!
fallling...

fallen, sunk, submerged into my bed, my alarm beeped and rang, piercing through the cocoon of comfort that enveloped me through the night. The continuous abhorrent ringing that bounced around the chambers of my mind didn't stop me from sleeping. The alarm didn't stop me from feeling the cradle of the loving universe, returning - ascending- into heaven's arms.
My eyes were ever so prescient to any obstacles remend shut. My warm duvet enveloped, while my window brought an icy breeze that tickled my toes and whispered into my ears sweet lullabies...

Splash!

My pillow; my clothes; my duvet; my bedsheets; my mattress; and my face were drenched and sodden. The cold tsunami washed over me, stealing my sleep, and causing me to wiggle like a worm. My skin became rough with goosebumps.

"wake up! You're going to be late"

I turned my body from the thief of sleep, trying to return to heaven's benevolent warm embrace but all I could feel was the moist wet mattress beneath me.