Why aren’t I a normal person?
I don’t have a single friend and I never really have. When I first started uni I really made an effort and spoke to people and asked to join when they were going out and stuff but it just gradually turned into me having to make a constant effort with people who I could tell didn’t really want me around so I stopped trying. It’s been like that everywhere my whole life and it always will be. I’ve never had a relationship and never had a proper friend, I just have acquaintances.
I always thought that doing well academically and being smart made up for that and I got into my dream uni but my grades here are just alright, they’re not good so now I don’t really have anything that makes me feel good about myself. Everything that does make me feel good about myself (drinking, losing weight, codeine) will just destroy my health.
Why can’t I just be a normal person and be someone that people want to be around? I really have tried. Despite how this post comes across I’m not just some whiner who wants everyone to feel sorry for them. I don’t talk like this irl, I’m friendly and ask people questions about themselves but they always just sense that I’m “off” in some way and decide they don’t like me.
I always thought that doing well academically and being smart made up for that and I got into my dream uni but my grades here are just alright, they’re not good so now I don’t really have anything that makes me feel good about myself. Everything that does make me feel good about myself (drinking, losing weight, codeine) will just destroy my health.
Why can’t I just be a normal person and be someone that people want to be around? I really have tried. Despite how this post comes across I’m not just some whiner who wants everyone to feel sorry for them. I don’t talk like this irl, I’m friendly and ask people questions about themselves but they always just sense that I’m “off” in some way and decide they don’t like me.
Sorry to hear you're not feeling good about things, feeling like you described doesn't mean you're not a normal person, being lonely at Uni can be really tough. This site may be able to help you, it's got lots of useful advice and resources: https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/find-help/
