Could someone mark my question 2 English language GCSE question?
Just want to know how many marks out of 8 I would get. I am doing AQA, and this is for paper 1.
The text was:
"The chief would instruct the younger men to set up shelters for these two old women each time the band arrived at a new campsite, and to provide them with wood and water. The younger women pulled the two elder women's possessions from one camp to the next and, in turn, the old women tanned animal skins for those who had helped them. The arrangement worked well."
The question was "How does the writer use language to describe how the tribe looks after the two old women?"
My answer was:
"The writer uses language to display that the tribe treats the two old women with respect as if they are important people.
Firstly, the writer portrays that the women are treated with importance by stating that the younger men were instructed to "set up shelters" for them. The fact that they were instructed to do this by the chief shows that the women must be of a high status, as the chief (which we would expect to be of a high status in the tribe), told other tribe members to build a shelter for them. Additionally, they were to be provided with "wood and water". The chief, which would possibly be of the highest status in the tribe, is instructing other tribe members to provide the two old women with provisions such as a shelter, wood (possibly for fire as means of warmth) and water; the fact that the chief is instructing them to do this emphasises that these two old women are of a high status.
Furthermore, the writer states that the new shelters were set up every time the "band arrived at a new campsite". This shows that the tribe must be looking after the old women and treating them very well, as not only is the chief himself instructing others to set up a shelter for them, and provide provisions for them, but he instructs tribe members to do this every time they set up a new camp.
Overall, the writer uses language to show that the tribe treats the two old women with importance and respect- by stating that the chief sets up shelters for them and gives them provisions, every time they go to a new camp- proving that the women are of high importance and a high level of priority."
Any help would be greatly appreciated, be as honest as you can as well.
Thanks!
The text was:
"The chief would instruct the younger men to set up shelters for these two old women each time the band arrived at a new campsite, and to provide them with wood and water. The younger women pulled the two elder women's possessions from one camp to the next and, in turn, the old women tanned animal skins for those who had helped them. The arrangement worked well."
The question was "How does the writer use language to describe how the tribe looks after the two old women?"
My answer was:
"The writer uses language to display that the tribe treats the two old women with respect as if they are important people.
Firstly, the writer portrays that the women are treated with importance by stating that the younger men were instructed to "set up shelters" for them. The fact that they were instructed to do this by the chief shows that the women must be of a high status, as the chief (which we would expect to be of a high status in the tribe), told other tribe members to build a shelter for them. Additionally, they were to be provided with "wood and water". The chief, which would possibly be of the highest status in the tribe, is instructing other tribe members to provide the two old women with provisions such as a shelter, wood (possibly for fire as means of warmth) and water; the fact that the chief is instructing them to do this emphasises that these two old women are of a high status.
Furthermore, the writer states that the new shelters were set up every time the "band arrived at a new campsite". This shows that the tribe must be looking after the old women and treating them very well, as not only is the chief himself instructing others to set up a shelter for them, and provide provisions for them, but he instructs tribe members to do this every time they set up a new camp.
Overall, the writer uses language to show that the tribe treats the two old women with importance and respect- by stating that the chief sets up shelters for them and gives them provisions, every time they go to a new camp- proving that the women are of high importance and a high level of priority."
Any help would be greatly appreciated, be as honest as you can as well.
Thanks!
im gonna be slightly harsh but i think thats probably more helpful
around 3 or maybe 4 out of 8
the opening and ending sentence about the writer using 'language' to convey their importance. That is very broad and well, what else are they gonna use? thats a waste of time and wont get you any marks. And time is everything in an english exam.
say something definitive- just cut the using language bit and use that sentence alone.
you are kind of just repeating the same stuff. here are things i would mention and briefly analyse
you need to get all those points and maybe more things you could think of concisely but precisely to get 8 marks. repeating points and using long sentences gets you nowhere. You need to show off that you can accurately analyse text and write this out. hope it was useful
around 3 or maybe 4 out of 8
the opening and ending sentence about the writer using 'language' to convey their importance. That is very broad and well, what else are they gonna use? thats a waste of time and wont get you any marks. And time is everything in an english exam.
say something definitive- just cut the using language bit and use that sentence alone.
you are kind of just repeating the same stuff. here are things i would mention and briefly analyse
•
the fact that shelters are being set up for them
•
the fact that wood and water are being provided, for as you correctly said possibly warmth and just comfort
•
the chief is ordering this, he is in a position of power and authority, and of great importance, and the fact he himself is 'ordering' this indicates again the value of the elder women to the tribe
•
here is the one you skipped- the fact they are tanning animal skins in return for this- the relationship is not purely out of esteem for elders, they are providing a service in return. Their skills and work is also very valuble to the tribe, but overall the fact that their comfort is held important shows that they are indeed respected
•
you correctly identified that the fact this is done over and over also conveys their importance
•
you didnt have to mention the chief again, waste of precious time
you need to get all those points and maybe more things you could think of concisely but precisely to get 8 marks. repeating points and using long sentences gets you nowhere. You need to show off that you can accurately analyse text and write this out. hope it was useful
(edited 4 weeks ago)
Original post by Nat4695
im gonna be slightly harsh but i think thats probably more helpful
around 3 or maybe 4 out of 8
the opening and ending sentence about the writer using 'language' to convey their importance. That is very broad and well, what else are they gonna use? thats a waste of time and wont get you any marks. And time is everything in an english exam.
say something definitive- just cut the using language bit and use that sentence alone.
you are kind of just repeating the same stuff. here are things i would mention and briefly analyse
you need to get all those points and maybe more things you could think of concisely but precisely to get 8 marks. repeating points and using long sentences gets you nowhere. You need to show off that you can accurately analyse text and write this out. hope it was useful
around 3 or maybe 4 out of 8
the opening and ending sentence about the writer using 'language' to convey their importance. That is very broad and well, what else are they gonna use? thats a waste of time and wont get you any marks. And time is everything in an english exam.
say something definitive- just cut the using language bit and use that sentence alone.
you are kind of just repeating the same stuff. here are things i would mention and briefly analyse
•
the fact that shelters are being set up for them
•
the fact that wood and water are being provided, for as you correctly said possibly warmth and just comfort
•
the chief is ordering this, he is in a position of power and authority, and of great importance, and the fact he himself is 'ordering' this indicates again the value of the elder women to the tribe
•
here is the one you skipped- the fact they are tanning animal skins in return for this- the relationship is not purely out of esteem for elders, they are providing a service in return. Their skills and work is also very valuble to the tribe, but overall the fact that their comfort is held important shows that they are indeed respected
•
you correctly identified that the fact this is done over and over also conveys their importance
•
you didnt have to mention the chief again, waste of precious time
you need to get all those points and maybe more things you could think of concisely but precisely to get 8 marks. repeating points and using long sentences gets you nowhere. You need to show off that you can accurately analyse text and write this out. hope it was useful
This was extremely helpful, thank you very much!
Original post by School_Student99
This was extremely helpful, thank you very much!
Hi there! I am also a GCSE student who generally gets high grades in English lang. Here are some things you need to work on:
This answer would only get around 3 marks as there are key things you are missing.
Question 2 on the Lang paper 1 is all about analysing the language, and you MUST state methods. You have stated none. When it asks to analyse the language, It means verbs, similie, nouns, adjectives, metaphors ect...
Additionally, you really need to focus on the word level analysis. This is specified in the mark scheme for top grade answers. This means you need to pick out certain words from your quote and unpick them. This makes your answer seem extremely developed. Constantly ask yourself how and why for everything you do!
Here is an example of word level analysis: the use of noun 'shelters' signifies to the reader that they are vulnerable to harsh conditions. The noun acts as a sanctuary for all involved, and this is reflected as their 'agreement' works well. Furthermore, it could exemplify the need for unity and togetherness throughout tough times. The fact that it is plural, helps to bring them all together.
Remember there is no correct answer, and it is all up to interpretation! You just need to understand how to back up your points thoroughly, and make sure you are answering the question!
Original post by James2008985
Hi there! I am also a GCSE student who generally gets high grades in English lang. Here are some things you need to work on:
This answer would only get around 3 marks as there are key things you are missing.
Question 2 on the Lang paper 1 is all about analysing the language, and you MUST state methods. You have stated none. When it asks to analyse the language, It means verbs, similie, nouns, adjectives, metaphors ect...
Additionally, you really need to focus on the word level analysis. This is specified in the mark scheme for top grade answers. This means you need to pick out certain words from your quote and unpick them. This makes your answer seem extremely developed. Constantly ask yourself how and why for everything you do!
Here is an example of word level analysis: the use of noun 'shelters' signifies to the reader that they are vulnerable to harsh conditions. The noun acts as a sanctuary for all involved, and this is reflected as their 'agreement' works well. Furthermore, it could exemplify the need for unity and togetherness throughout tough times. The fact that it is plural, helps to bring them all together.
Remember there is no correct answer, and it is all up to interpretation! You just need to understand how to back up your points thoroughly, and make sure you are answering the question!
This answer would only get around 3 marks as there are key things you are missing.
Question 2 on the Lang paper 1 is all about analysing the language, and you MUST state methods. You have stated none. When it asks to analyse the language, It means verbs, similie, nouns, adjectives, metaphors ect...
Additionally, you really need to focus on the word level analysis. This is specified in the mark scheme for top grade answers. This means you need to pick out certain words from your quote and unpick them. This makes your answer seem extremely developed. Constantly ask yourself how and why for everything you do!
Here is an example of word level analysis: the use of noun 'shelters' signifies to the reader that they are vulnerable to harsh conditions. The noun acts as a sanctuary for all involved, and this is reflected as their 'agreement' works well. Furthermore, it could exemplify the need for unity and togetherness throughout tough times. The fact that it is plural, helps to bring them all together.
Remember there is no correct answer, and it is all up to interpretation! You just need to understand how to back up your points thoroughly, and make sure you are answering the question!
Thank you for the great advice!
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