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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    But it won't, self harming never really helps with anything. The only thing that you'll fell afterwards is guilt/a similar emotion, it's just not worth it http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...ilies/hugs.gif


    Also, I had a quick Google search and it seems very split as to whether or not that thing mentioned earlier actually shows up. Why not go to a police station and ask (that's the only place I can think of). One guy posted on a forum saying that he'd been under that thing you guys mentioned loads of times, but it never showed up on his enhanced CRB check... Don't give up hope! Also, isn't it illegal for them to turn you down because of mental health problems?


    Thanks, I'm feeling a bit better. I went and had some food instead, but I'm still way off having enough calories for today.
    I don't know why I feel like that, I've been really unstable all of today. Every mistake I've ever made (mainly academically) is haunting me right now, adding to the feeling like a failure. I'm about to study though, so I'm hoping that lessens.

    The thought of blood right now... No thank you. Why did I ever think I wanted to be a doctor? http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...s/rolleyes.gif Mind you, I know several doctors that hate blood. http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...ies/shrugs.gif

    Well done! That's a load of stuff to accomplish!
    Yeah I did a quick Google search too with similarly mixed results... No one seems to be sure.
    Eurgh, I honestly hate days like that. My biggest mistake when I started feeling really down last month was going home and spending all day and night dwelling on every mistake I felt I'd ever made, and talking about it to my mum (who tends to confirm negative thinking...) I think the antidepressants and changing my attitude a bit using self help books has allowed me to battle that way of thinking and to focus more on the positives again - some of the time anyway... I seriously recommend doing this exercises in this book http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Dep...6706647&sr=1-1 whenever you're in a more positive mood - it may seem silly at first (it did to me) but eventually it does actually start to help. & yeah when you're feeling up to I find that managing to do some work, while feeling virtually impossible, really helps to combat the feelings of failure too.

    Try not to get too stressed about the eating :hugs: Maybe ask your dad to make sure you're not slipping back into old habits, and just try to eat small amounts whenever you feel able, even if it's tiny portions.

    I can't imagine wanting to be a doctor - I am waaay too squeamish. Why did you change your mind?

    Thanks I just hope I manage to get up at a reasonable time tomorrow and accomplish something with my day... i usually have to have a concrete reason (e.g. meetings or seeing people) to make myself get out of bed.
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    Yeah I did a quick Google search too with similarly mixed results... No one seems to be sure. Eurgh, I honestly hate days like that. My biggest mistake when I started feeling really down last month was going home and spending all day and night dwelling on my academic errors, every mistake I felt I'd ever made, and talking about it to my mum (who tends to confirm negative thinking...) I think the antidepressants and changing my attitude a bit using self help books has allowed me to battle that way of thinking and to focus more on the positives again - some of the time anyway... I seriously recommend doing this exercises in this book http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Dep...6706647&sr=1-1 whenever you're in a more positive mood - it may seem silly at first (it did to me) but eventually it does actually start to help.

    Try not to get too stressed about the eating :hugs: Maybe ask your dad to make sure you're not slipping back into old habits, and just try to eat small amounts whenever you feel able, even if it's tiny portions
    Thanks, I'm working my way through MoodGym, which someone on the revision thread recommended to me.

    My dad's being great about it - I had to ask him if I could go get some food just now (both of the parents are asleep, don't want them going downstairs thinking there's a burglar in the kitchen :rolleyes: He used to be really funny about me and my brother eating at night, but he's fine with us doing it now, because of all my 'problems' and my brother's desire to gain weight haha.
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    Everything getting worse again. Today went ok but now it's rubbish. Just want to crawl into bed and cry.
    I have classes again next week and don't want to go back. Have work to do which I can't. I'm seeing less and less point in staying here, I'm going to fail anyway. All my grades have been **** this year. Just don't see the point.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Everything getting worse again. Today went ok but now it's rubbish. Just want to crawl into bed and cry.
    I have classes again next week and don't want to go back. Have work to do which I can't. I'm seeing less and less point in staying here, I'm going to fail anyway. All my grades have been **** this year. Just don't see the point.
    :hugs: I'm not feeling too good either. Suicidal urges are coming back stronger, they weren't quite so bad for a while but now... I'll just be doing nothing in particular and then the thought just comes flashing into my head that I'm alone in the house and there's nothing stopping me. Not good.

    Don't give up yet. You've already done half the year, you might as well finish. Why don't you email your tutor, explain you're really not feeling too good and ask to take an extra week off. You might feel more capable of carrying on by then, and if you still want to drop out then another week to decide won't have done any harm.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    :hugs: I'm not feeling too good either. Suicidal urges are coming back stronger, they weren't quite so bad for a while but now... I'll just be doing nothing in particular and then the thought just comes flashing into my head that I'm alone in the house and there's nothing stopping me. Not good.

    Don't give up yet. You've already done half the year, you might as well finish. Why don't you email your tutor, explain you're really not feeling too good and ask to take an extra week off. You might feel more capable of carrying on by then, and if you still want to drop out then another week to decide won't have done any harm.
    Know the feeling. :console: Didn't you say you were starting new anti-depressants soon? You never know you might actually magically get one that works. That's a reason not to do it.

    That's an idea, but then I'll be even further behind than I already am. It's not like I have anyone I could get the notes off either so I'd be pretty screwed. I dunno. The only reason I'm staying is so I can play sport but I'm not even doing that anymore.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Know the feeling. :console: Didn't you say you were starting new anti-depressants soon? You never know you might actually magically get one that works. That's a reason not to do it.

    That's an idea, but then I'll be even further behind than I already am. It's not like I have anyone I could get the notes off either so I'd be pretty screwed. I dunno. The only reason I'm staying is so I can play sport but I'm not even doing that anymore.
    Yeah, that magical cure is just around the corner... Haven't you been on the same pills for quite a while? Maybe it's time for a change.

    What exactly have you got to lose though? By the sound of it even if you did make it in to lectures you wouldn't really be taking much in. Would it be possible for your notetaker to go along without you, or does it not work like that?

    You're not playing sports at the moment, doesn't mean you can't start up again.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Yeah, that magical cure is just around the corner... Haven't you been on the same pills for quite a while? Maybe it's time for a change.

    What exactly have you got to lose though? By the sound of it even if you did make it in to lectures you wouldn't really be taking much in. Would it be possible for your notetaker to go along without you, or does it not work like that?

    You're not playing sports at the moment, doesn't mean you can't start up again.
    yeah I have. I actually stopped the mirtazapine over the summer and my psychiatrist told me to take it again. It makes no difference either way and I think there's a lack of alternatives given I've tried most antidepressants.

    That's a good point, yeah I might email him/her (I don't actually know who my tutor is...). Notetaker will only take notes if I'm there.

    I'm going to go lie in bed, if I stay here I'm worried I'll do something. Thanks for the advice superwolf.
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    I think I might start keeping a diary so that I can get my thoughts out of my head an onto paper...

    The weird jerky movements are getting a bit violent... Only 41 hours until I see my doctor :nothing:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Thanks, I'm working my way through MoodGym, which someone on the revision thread recommended to me.

    My dad's being great about it - I had to ask him if I could go get some food just now (both of the parents are asleep, don't want them going downstairs thinking there's a burglar in the kitchen http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...s/rolleyes.gif He used to be really funny about me and my brother eating at night, but he's fine with us doing it now, because of all my 'problems' and my brother's desire to gain weight haha.
    I signed up for MoodGym actually but found trying to identify what "type of warped thinking" I had at 3am a bit too much so I stopped :o: should start up again. On the up side my forms to get referred to non-university counselling came through today - am preparing myself for 3 month plus waiting lists, but it's a step forward at least.

    I'm really glad that your dad's been so supportive, I think it makes a difference just knowing someone cares in that way. Why does your brother want to gain weight?

    Sabertooth and Superwolf: :hugs: Hope you guys manage to get some sleep and that things look a bit better tomorrow.

    Right, I'm going to see whether or not I can sleep... Going to try to get out of bed tomorrow and go into the city to get a nice lunch, then come back and work on the essay. Well, I live in hope... Good luck with sleeping and hope you feel alright in the morning!
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    I signed up for MoodGym actually but found trying to identify what "type of warped thinking" I had at 3am a bit too much so I stopped :o: should start up again. On the up side my forms to get referred to non-university counselling came through today - am preparing myself for 3 month plus waiting lists, but it's a step forward at least.

    I'm really glad that your dad's been so supportive, I think it makes a difference just knowing someone cares in that way. Why does your brother want to gain weight?

    Sabertooth and Superwolf: :hugs: Hope you guys manage to get some sleep and that things look a bit better tomorrow.

    Right, I'm going to see whether or not I can sleep... Going to try to get out of bed tomorrow and go into the city to get a nice lunch, then come back and work on the essay. Well, I live in hope... Good luck with sleeping and hope you feel alright in the morning!
    Haha, yes I found that too! That's great, at least you know it's coming soon. :hugs:

    Yeah, it's great. The way it treats it does make me question if he's had it before and if there's a serious family history of it (I know for certain of at least 2 relatives on his side, but I think I've heard them mentioning a few others...). My brother wants to gain weight because he's 6'4" and could probably fit into my jeans. He's not the skinniest guy I've ever met, but he's trying to build a bit of muscle and gain some weight for a rugby match (he was trying for 2 stones in 2 weeks... I hope he's realised that's impossible now haha).

    Good luck with getting sleep and tomorrow!
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    Is anyone still awake? Feel really ******* terrible.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    Is anyone still awake? Feel really ******* terrible.
    I am, what's up?
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    I can't stop crying at random things.

    Went and saw The Lovely Bones, cried all the way through that, I'm now crying my way through an episode of Being Human. Woo.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    I can't stop crying at random things.

    Went and saw The Lovely Bones, cried all the way through that, I'm now crying my way through an episode of Being Human. Woo.
    :hugs: It's okay to get emotional at times
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    (Original post by Nothos)
    I am, what's up?
    I dunno, I turned the light off to try and go to sleep and then as soon as I didn't have any distractions I just fell apart completely. Can't stop thinking about killing myself, don't know what to do.
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    (Original post by superwolf)
    I dunno, I turned the light off to try and go to sleep and then as soon as I didn't have any distractions I just fell apart completely. Can't stop thinking about killing myself, don't know what to do.
    Whenever I get that, I watch a DVD while in bed, eventually I'll drop off. I'd highly recommend you try that.

    Be strong, there's no need to kill yourself, it won't achieve anything :hugs:
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    (Original post by Nothos)
    :hugs: It's okay to get emotional at times
    Yeah, I know... I just feel like such a prat, crying at a TV show... Because the character is talking to her mum about how much she loves her. I'm such a sod.

    :hugs: Superwolf
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    (Original post by Nothos)
    Whenever I get that, I watch a DVD while in bed, eventually I'll drop off. I'd highly recommend you try that.

    Be strong, there's no need to kill yourself, it won't achieve anything :hugs:
    I already tried that tonight, didn't work. I suppose I'll try watching something else though. Thanks.

    ****, I feel so alone, all my housemates are out getting pissed like normal people and I'm just stuck here like always not able to do anything.
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    (Original post by kiss_me_now9)
    Yeah, I know... I just feel like such a prat, crying at a TV show... Because the character is talking to her mum about how much she loves her. I'm such a sod.

    :hugs: Superwolf
    I wouldn't feel too bad about it, I just cried my way through an episode of Poirot... :o: Although I suppose it did have a bit of a suicide theme, which didn't help matters.
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    Haha, yes I found that too! That's great, at least you know it's coming soon. http://static.thestudentroom.co.uk/i...ilies/hugs.gif

    Yeah, it's great. The way it treats it does make me question if he's had it before and if there's a serious family history of it (I know for certain of at least 2 relatives on his side, but I think I've heard them mentioning a few others...). My brother wants to gain weight because he's 6'4" and could probably fit into my jeans. He's not the skinniest guy I've ever met, but he's trying to build a bit of muscle and gain some weight for a rugby match (he was trying for 2 stones in 2 weeks... I hope he's realised that's impossible now haha).

    Good luck with getting sleep and tomorrow!
    Well I know it will take a long time, but yeah I do feel better knowing I've taken steps to arrange it

    Could be - apparently they think genetics play a role in these things. I try to tell myself it could be a lot worse for me considering that my dad's side has a long history of bipolar and my mum's side have all been depressive alcoholics... But whatever the reason, it's good that he is understanding. My mum is actually very critical of how I am despite the fact she and those close to her went through the same things - it seems to stem from a sense of guilt at passing it on.
    6'4", crikey... People that tall intimidate me :p: Well best of luck to him but 2 stone in 2 weeks does sound pretty implausible!!

    How're you today? I'm proud of being up before noon on a Sunday but slept very little and feel a bit bleurgh
 
 
 
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