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    urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. steffi cant cope. i dont have it in me to explain things atm so sorry.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. steffi cant cope. i dont have it in me to explain things atm so sorry.
    :hugs: Things will improve and you will be able to look back on now and smile that you got through it and see just how much life has improved and how happy you are.
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    i swear i am just NOT normal. i feel so abnormal compared to the next average person. **********
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    i swear i am just NOT normal. i feel so abnormal compared to the next average person. **********
    You'd be surprised how many of us 'abnormal' people there are out there. I'm pretty sure we outnumber the 'average' people. I often feel like this, but at the end of the day, I'm more normal and real than any 'normal' person out there.
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    i think il just be a recluse for the rest of my life. i can be happy that way. cant i?
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    i think il just be a recluse for the rest of my life. i can be happy that way. cant i?
    If you want to stay at home right now, then do that. But things will improve and then you'll want to leave the house. :yes: What's happened that's made today worse?
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    just seeing myself makes everything so bad lmao. urgh. i despise and disgust myself and i eat LIKE A DOG, LITERALLY and yet no ones comments can change that:confused: i ******* hate myself.

    it would be so easier to just die right now. honest. honest.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    just seeing myself makes everything so bad lmao. urgh. i despise and disgust myself and i eat LIKE A DOG, LITERALLY and yet no ones comments can change that:confused: i ******* hate myself.

    it would be so easier to just die right now. honest. honest.
    Your comments about your body image and eating worries me. I don't want to be too quick to say it, as I'm obviously no doctor, but your comments remind me of my thoughts a few years ago, when I was anorexic. Please be careful and try not to worry too much, you're probably eating far, far less than you think and not as much as you should be eating. It's a very slippery slope.

    No it wouldn't, it would devastate your friends and family, it won't be pretty or painless, and things always, always, ALWAYS improve. Just keep reminding yourself of that and one day you'll see that it's true and that life is amazing.

    Sorry I took a while to reply, my laptop went crazy.
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    no honestly steffi dont worry. i am the opposite of skinny. i am a bloated mess. lol. urgh.

    death is so ******* attractive right now
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    no honestly steffi dont worry. i am the opposite of skinny. i am a bloated mess. lol. urgh.

    death is so ******* attractive right now
    1) I thought that when I was ill
    2) Anyone of any weight, from super morbidly obese to those who are skeletal, can develop anorexia/bulimia/etc
    3) They way you think of yourself and your eating is not healthy. Food is needed not only to live but also to be happy, don't deny yourself that. Not having enough food really messes with your moods. I was one moody depressed ***** when I was anorexic.

    Is there anyone at home you can go talk to or at least sit next to, just until you feel better?
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    food is one of my comforts in life along with sleep/watching tv etc. it doesnt even unnerve me when i get called fat/big belly etc. which makes me feel abnormal in the sense that most girls care about their weight and i emphatically do not.
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    (Original post by Malsy)
    food is one of my comforts in life along with sleep/watching tv etc. it doesnt even unnerve me when i get called fat/big belly etc. which makes me feel abnormal in the sense that most girls care about their weight and i emphatically do not.
    It's one of my comforts too, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. People are idiots to be totally honest, just ignore them. It's great to not care about your weight! I'm still trying to get there, but I do know some people who are happy with their weight and couldn't care less (I even know some 17/18 year old girls who don't even know how much they weigh, as they've never weighed themselves).

    I have to go in search of a tonsillitis-friendly dinner now, but please try to talk to someone, or at least be in the same room as for e.g. your parents, it really helps me when I'm feeling really low. :hugs:
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    (Original post by steffi.alexa)
    1) I thought that when I was ill
    2) Anyone of any weight, from super morbidly obese to those who are skeletal, can develop anorexia/bulimia/etc
    3) They way you think of yourself and your eating is not healthy. Food is needed not only to live but also to be happy, don't deny yourself that. Not having enough food really messes with your moods. I was one moody depressed ***** when I was anorexic.

    Is there anyone at home you can go talk to or at least sit next to, just until you feel better?
    All very true... The dips in blood sugar level are the worst. I used to feel miserable, moody and teary 24/7 - except for my weird middle-of-the-night energy buzz

    -

    How is everyone?
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    (Original post by dappleddawndrawndauphin)
    All very true... The dips in blood sugar level are the worst. I used to feel miserable, moody and teary 24/7 - except for my weird middle-of-the-night energy buzz

    -

    How is everyone?
    I know. I still feel guitly about the time I snapped at my AS maths teacher. I was just sitting there, not doing any of the work and I can't remember what he said (I think he might have been asking if I was okay ), and due to the fact that I hadn't eaten enough, I was so rude and moody.

    Right, I'm gonna go play Sim City and try to pretend that I'm not falling apart and that school, exams and coursework deadlines don't exist.
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    :cry:

    WTH is wrong with me? I can't even write (crappy) poetry any more to sort out my feelings. I tried to write some, but only managed a tiny bit and it didn't help. I'm such a failure, school was the only thing I was good at, but that fell apart last year and now I'm on track to continue that. I don't even have any close (in both senses of the word) that I can talk to. I've isolated myself and some of them... Well I'll admit they're not proper friends. But... Argh.
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    down we go again... weeeeeee!

    i'm рissed off at myself for letting myself suddenly drop so low, considering the rather petty things that have triggered it. up and down on a scale of minutes the last two days, this is ridiculous. goddammit i'm shіt
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    i am more **** i reassure you.
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    Got some very upsetting news. Been trying really hard for ages not to cry. Think I'll just go cry in bed in a bit.

    Essay due in 5 days, not even started it, really unsure how the **** I'm going to get it done. Tried to get the articles for it and finding it impossible - look at date, go to journal page, forget date, look at date again, go to journal page, forget date.....look at volume number, forget volume number. I can't remember a ******* number for 10 seconds. WTF?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Got some very upsetting news. Been trying really hard for ages not to cry. Think I'll just go cry in bed in a bit.

    Essay due in 5 days, not even started it, really unsure how the **** I'm going to get it done. Tried to get the articles for it and finding it impossible - look at date, go to journal page, forget date, look at date again, go to journal page, forget date.....look at volume number, forget volume number. I can't remember a ******* number for 10 seconds. WTF?
    Memory problems ain't fun, I fully understand on that. Just got to hang on in there, can you get an extension on the essay if it's giving you problems?
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    (Original post by fire2burn)
    Memory problems ain't fun, I fully understand on that. Just got to hang on in there, can you get an extension on the essay if it's giving you problems?
    god knows. I haven't been to classes in er...2 weeks? I can't remember that either. I don't care anymore. This was my last chance and I ****** it all up again. Now I'm just sitting in bed crying my eyes out. I'm pathetic.
 
 
 
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