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    (Original post by Ape Gone Insane)
    Meh, I can't. I look at food and just gag.
    You drinking? Even if you don't really eat, make sure you drink.
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    (Original post by Ape Gone Insane)
    Are there any pills that induce amnesia? If so, which ones? :holmes:
    Short term or long term? I've heard that there are, but I couldn't tell you which ones.
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    Doctors double my cit dose, got me to sleep at least.

    Told me to go to counselling, so we'll see what happens. Don't want to go though. Feel like a bit of a zombie again today :sigh:
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    (Original post by Ape Gone Insane)
    How long are you on it for? Counselling is hit and miss.

    Your avatar disturbs me. :afraid:
    Been on 20mg since Jan. Did help. I've relapsed. So now I'm on 40. I'm on as long as I feel I need to be.
    I know, they seem nice but I have to talk about my feelings. I hate that.

    :awesome: I couldn't resist.
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    I have my first proper counselling session booked, next Wednesday. I'm really not sure this is gonna work. Talking about my feelings and the last few months just makes me feel worse. But what else can I do?

    My main aim today Ape is to just get through. And try and be a little bit healthy. Got the essay that's due for Tuesday done, so that's good, but not got the work for Monday done yet, so that's bad. But I'm working on it.

    :hugs: To everyone.
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    I'm a complete loser.

    Tried another sports club just now, what a ******* mistake. Why do I even try to pretend to be normal, Pretty damn ******* dumb that I haven't managed to work out yet that people do not and will never like me or accept me.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I'm a complete loser.

    Tried another sports club just now, what a ******* mistake. Why do I even try to pretend to be normal, Pretty damn ******* dumb that I haven't managed to work out yet that people do not and will never like me or accept me.
    What happened mate? :hugs:

    ---

    Got stopped by an unmarked police car last night when I was going towards the train track, total luck but it made me lose my nerve and I came home. Ffs. I was half tempted to floor it.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    What happened mate? :hugs:

    ---

    Got stopped by an unmarked police car last night when I was going towards the train track, total luck but it made me lose my nerve and I came home. Ffs. I was half tempted to floor it.
    Had to get into groups of 6, I found one with 5 so asked to join, that all went fine, was talking etc trying to be nice, was going well. The team guys did a demonstration so I watched, then when I turned back my "team" had another player...making 7...weird but ok. When we were called up to play all 7 walked on and then the others are like **** there's 7 of us one has to get off (all looking at me), I kind of ignored it and meh we played with 7. After this the girl who had joined was standing in the group with her back to me kind of pushing me out and all 6 were talking happily, basically I was replaced, while standing there and they didn't even have the courtesy to tell me. I got the hint and came home.

    Another failed venture. :sigh:


    Was going to pm you today actually, you alright? Got kind of worried. Not stopping wouldn't have been a great idea, night in the cells probably wouldn't have helped how you're feeling....train probably isn't the best way of doing it either sorry, really shouldn't say that

    You know, I just remembered, about May time when I went out to kill myself I got stopped by a security guard who basically talked me round. Weird how these things happen.
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    (Original post by Ape Gone Insane)
    They sound like utter pricks tbh. It's good actually at least you know no they are not worth associating yourself with.

    There is always another venture and better people.
    Problem is that I try everything and nothing ever works. I've been at uni for 4 years so far and yet I never make friends, despite doing everything I can think of to try and make some.


    And you know, you should be careful with those amnesia drugs if you find any. I have heard that hypnotism can work and think I read in something that they were developing a drug for post-traumatic stress disorder which would kind of "erase" the memories. Take part in a drug trial? :p:
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Had to get into groups of 6, I found one with 5 so asked to join, that all went fine, was talking etc trying to be nice, was going well. The team guys did a demonstration so I watched, then when I turned back my "team" had another player...making 7...weird but ok. When we were called up to play all 7 walked on and then the others are like **** there's 7 of us one has to get off (all looking at me), I kind of ignored it and meh we played with 7. After this the girl who had joined was standing in the group with her back to me kind of pushing me out and all 6 were talking happily, basically I was replaced, while standing there and they didn't even have the courtesy to tell me. I got the hint and came home.

    Another failed venture. :sigh:


    Was going to pm you today actually, you alright? Got kind of worried. Not stopping wouldn't have been a great idea, night in the cells probably wouldn't have helped how you're feeling....train probably isn't the best way of doing it either sorry, really shouldn't say that
    Meh **** them then, better you learn what they are like now than in the future. There are plenty of other things you can try where there shouldn't be such a congregation of clowns.

    I fluctuate from okishness to **** thisness. And from what I have worked out, train is pretty much the most likely to succeed and also painless.
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    (Original post by Idiot-Finder)
    Meh **** them then, better you learn what they are like now than in the future. There are plenty of other things you can try where there shouldn't be such a congregation of clowns.

    I fluctuate from okishness to **** thisness. And from what I have worked out, train is pretty much the most likely to succeed and also painless.
    Kind of running out of things :p:

    How's that new drug working for you? If the feelings come and go, i dunno if it's the kind you have, but perhaps more a prn one might be better than a daily one? You might be already on that...(can't recall sorry). Painless if it works as planned.....nah, not going to get into this. Irresponsible. Okishness is good it's better than ******** all the time I guess.
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    (Original post by Ape Gone Insane)
    I wouldn't mind, amnesia would be the blessing of all blessings. I feel jealous of Jason Bourne. :awesome: I read that too but most things like these takes years or never really happen.

    Like the "invisibility cloak" :unimpressed:

    Back to you though, what have you tried? A short list. It could be down to many factors for instance being in the same area for your entire life or being exposed to the same type of people that shun you out. Your friend(s) are definitely out there, you're just unlucky in the sense of having looked in the wrong places.
    Never seen that film. And yeah stuff does take time. Like that damn ketamine as a treatment for depression :rant: Hence the drug trial suggestion. Or you could go down the talk it over with a professional route, which I don't exactly recommend, kinda useless.

    What have I tried?
    At school, sitting by other kids, being good at sports so I might get picked and they might be friendly, letting people copy my homework, going out my way to help people with whatever. Never worked.

    At uni, joining numerous sports clubs, joining cultural and political societies, going to club nights on campus, sitting by people in lectures, doing extra reading before seminars so I seem intelligent and people might want me in their group, starting conversation in the corridor whilst waiting, smiling, being friendly, offering to help people with boxes, in sports, whatever, offering alcohol, cakes, food to people in my flat. Going round smiling like an imbecile and introducing myself to everyone. Going out and getting drunk and trying whilst drunk. Trying whilst sober. Never saying no whatever people asked.

    Outside of education, I tried by smiling and being friendly and helpful in various jobs I've had, I joined the sports team for my city played that pretty often, I'll try to chat to people in a queue or on a bus.

    Probably left a load of stuff out, nothing ever works though, people give yes/no answers and excuse themselves as much as possible. It's not just a single area either, I've lived in quite a few places, and jobs have introduced me to people of different ages and types than just education.
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    Make friends, you know you can make never change yourself to please someone else or fit in with a group. At the same time, having an attitude of I don't need anyone im fine by myself is bad. I haven't exactly been depressed but, Im going to make more of an effort to talk to people this year.
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    Also, **** suicide this world and life is too beautiful too end it prematurely because of something that an individual/group has said or done to you. Taking everyday one step at a time, is the way to go forward focus your energy on something that makes you happy. Like right now I write rhymes and other stuff since I like creative writing, takes my mind off things.

    >.<
    Being Mentally Strong is a neccessitty (Did I spell this word right?)
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    Dunno if this is the right place to ask but I'm new to tsr. What should I expect from an assessment apptmnt by a community mental health team, questions etc. I'm a bit worried about the apptmnt. Thanks
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    (Original post by furryboo123)
    Dunno if this is the right place to ask but I'm new to tsr. What should I expect from an assessment apptmnt by a community mental health team, questions etc. I'm a bit worried about the apptmnt. Thanks
    Don't be worried, it's pretty straight forward. They'll ask you about how you feel, are you sleeping, are you eating, what do you do during the day, any plans for suicide, any self harm etc etc. Takes ages and they ask loads of stuff but in the end it's still pretty simple to answer, and if you don't understand/don't want to answer something then just tell them.

    Good luck.
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    Wish I knew why I feel so bad.
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    Caved and texted 'him' saying how much I missed our friendship. He seems to think we're still friends. How can I be friends with someone I haven't spoken to in so long and when I think about them I just want to cry?
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    is sleeping throughout the day normal for depressed people?stupid question I know but I can sleep for 19hrs and be awake for only a few hours at night...tried changing my sleep pattern and sleeping at a normal time in the evening and setting the alarm for a normal time in the morning but doesn't work...this combined with constant headaches is really starting to annoy me. Will tell my GP next wk but just wanted to know if anyone else experienced this and how to resolve it!
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    (Original post by Honeyx)
    is sleeping throughout the day normal for depressed people?stupid question I know but I can sleep for 19hrs and be awake for only a few hours at night...tried changing my sleep pattern and sleeping at a normal time in the evening and setting the alarm for a normal time in the morning but doesn't work...this combined with constant headaches is really starting to annoy me. Will tell my GP next wk but just wanted to know if anyone else experienced this and how to resolve it!
    Yep. Pretty much... I have an awful sleeping pattern.
 
 
 
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