Custard, I hope you don't mind too much, but I am going to post this as I feel it is about time to.
Custard contacted me to state I was not posting here much. The reasons for this are three-fold, and I sincerely hope those in distress read these reasons.
First up - I do not want to interfere with the integrity and the recovery of others. I'd noticed a few people here receiving great recovery advice and some good, strong options regarding how to combat their own afflictions. There's no point in adding to already-sound advice, lest I accidentally affect it in a bad way.
Secondly, and more importantly, this thread has become increasingly negative. Almost trigger-worthy. I am personally unhappy with this. Every other message is "I binge-purged, I suck, I suck." Sometimes it is important to remember those enduring the same as you and stop being so selfish. Use SOME tact. ED is not an excuse to spurt out triggering statements willy-nilly. If you are feeling overwhelmed, that is understandable, but to state every day how self-indulgently dire you are feeling in order to incite sympathy is not constructive. Anyone knows this; it's a quick-fix easy get-out.
Finally, and perhaps most outlandishly, I haven't posted here in a while because I have actually had what is, in effect, a minor heart attack. At less than 16 BMI, I felt I wasn't nearly as bad as some other anorexic posters here. I noticed poor Custardcream posting she was around the 13 mark and thought "hell, I'm GIANT compared to her. So I calmed down on my recovery.
The other day, having restricted for a mere four days, my arm took a vice-like pain and I was taken into the hospital. Apparently I had endured what is termed as a "phantom heart attack" or "severe pre-emptive heart attack". This kind of thing is the last stage of angina before a life-threatening heart attack, by the way. Just goes to show that numbers mean **** all. If you are anorexic/ED-suffering, you are always at risk. You are killing yourselves.
And to be completely bleak, blunt, and cruel, I don't think a lot of you are doing enough regarding recovery. Seriously. This last endeavour has shown me how much I lie to myself and say "oh, it's cool, tomorrow I'll recover better!".
Nope, that's me, 26, having heart attacks, body shutting down. So I inadvertently become the agony aunt of this thread and state, "for god's sake, stop lying to yourselves and recover."
For christ's sake, some of the reasoning your ED places in front of you is so petty. Want to appease it? Fair enough. Don't eat dinner. Be like me, this past week. Have a f***ing heart attack. Your choice, guys.
I hate to be so blunt but it's come to this.
Think about it. I love you all too much to see you endure what I have.