Oh, I forgot to say, custard, I am so chuffed you're out of that goddamned wheelchair. I can empathise with the thought that your body's changing; mine has changed SO MUCH in the past two months. I have gained a full 2kg and almost 2% increase in body fat. I feel like this little skeletal frame with so much absurd, disgusting flab hanging off it - I feel like PALE MAN from Pan's Labyrinth.
I cried and cried yesterday because someone said I "looked healthy, not drawn-faced any more". How stupid we are.
Thankfully I have this wonderful lass I meet up with fortnightly who has recovered from an ED who takes time out to talk to me for a few hours up at the hospital. She's endured hospitalisation etc and returned from a BMI of 12 to 20, and she looks and feels great, and the strangest thing is I find her appearance so slim, and yet I'm the one here with a BMI of 15.5.
I just feel like all I'm doing is gaining stomach fat here, and where that's probably true for the best part (anorexic eight gain panic-stores just outside of the intestines, therefore initially presenting itself as a skinny person with a pot-belly in a lot of occasions), 5lbs of gain is not enough, logically, for me to have become a 'fat' person. But your ED makes you so unreasonable sometimes.