I'm killing everyone around me as well as myself :'( I dont want to be here anymore, I just cant live like this! Is there any free helplines that anyone would recommend. I feel like I need to talk to someone but I dont feel 'ill'/thin enough to actually get help. I feel like a doctor would laugh, and that would mean telling my grandparents, because my doctors is in the middle of nowhere and i dont want to do that to them. I cant carry on like this. I dont know what to do anymore :'(