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Mental Health Support Society Mk X
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Original post by bullettheory
Not having a good time at the moment. Uni is quite stressful at the moment, which is stupid, cus no real work has started yet and it's just basic stuff like reading which is making my mind panic and argh just can't cope. Feel so self conscious at uni like. I can't be myself, and I'm just really suspicious of people at the moment. The shadows are quite loud at the moment, telling me things, putting me down. Getting really scared that people are out to get me and that people aren't who they seem. They're always telling e that I'm going to be alone soon, that everyone is going to go, people are going to take them and I'm going to be alone. And I believe them 100%. It makes sense, I WILL be alone and I will be by myself so I'm trying to lesson the contact between people so it isn't a shock when I'm alone.
My girlfriend keeps asking for proof of this and I tell her and she won't believe me anyway. I keep getting messages that they are controlling people via phone masts, like controlling their mind. It's why my mum had her op, so they could test to make sure it's working correctly. They're gonna use that to control people and make them leave me. Then people ask why me, but it's because I was stupid enough not to do what they told me before. They know I know too much so they are trying to push me to the breaking point because of this.
I feel so stressed at uni, today I just went and cried in the loos at break cus I can't cope with it. I feel so close to just doping out and just leaving before more people start to get hurt. I know they are going to make my girlfriend go soon. I haven't got long left to fix it. I don't know. I feel freaky low and scared. Nothing will be alright. I'm just such a failure, and I don't know how to beat them.
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My girlfriend keeps asking for proof of this and I tell her and she won't believe me anyway. I keep getting messages that they are controlling people via phone masts, like controlling their mind. It's why my mum had her op, so they could test to make sure it's working correctly. They're gonna use that to control people and make them leave me. Then people ask why me, but it's because I was stupid enough not to do what they told me before. They know I know too much so they are trying to push me to the breaking point because of this.
I feel so stressed at uni, today I just went and cried in the loos at break cus I can't cope with it. I feel so close to just doping out and just leaving before more people start to get hurt. I know they are going to make my girlfriend go soon. I haven't got long left to fix it. I don't know. I feel freaky low and scared. Nothing will be alright. I'm just such a failure, and I don't know how to beat them.
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its NOT stupid at all, and you wont be alone, your girlfriend loves you and isnt going to leave you!
uni will be hard at time, but you CAN get through it
if you need to chat im here all night
also, your mum had the op because she needed it, its not a governmental thing, and i think you know deep down that im right
Original post by superwolf
Currently on hold to out of hours helpline. The music is dire.
good old helpline music, hope your closer!
Original post by PonchoKid
good old helpline music, hope your closer!
They couldn't help, I'm to ring back in the morning. 
Got shooting pains up my wrist. Must be a sign to stop writing now!
Original post by superwolf They couldn't help, I'm to ring back in the morning.
They couldn't help, I'm to ring back in the morning. Silly unis. Why do they have to make things such hard work!
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Have been ill since Sunday with what I thought was an eye infection but is now looking like shingles near my eye. Had to cancel meeting up with the guy I'm very casually seeing and feel really guilty about it. Also not sure if I'm going to be able to work until it clears up which is great when you have no money.
Was able to be sort of productive today and sorted some stats out for my brother but also couldn't be bothered to dress, brush hair etc so bit of a mix.
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Was able to be sort of productive today and sorted some stats out for my brother but also couldn't be bothered to dress, brush hair etc so bit of a mix.
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Original post by 05autyt
Hmm.. still think they could have made you feel more welcome 
Maybe... Or was it me that did not make enough effort?
Original post by tasha96
Anything you want to talk about?
Anything you want to talk about?
Its just that uni has been pretty boring for me so far 
. I've not been on a single "proper" night out yet and it is almost 2 weeks now since I moved in (one outside the uni campus and not to the bar/club they have on campus). Just happens that my flat is really quiet and hardly see people, but I spent the first few days mostly with people from 2 neighbouring flats. Now a week ago things went downhill as induction and other stuff started so people got really busy. Most of them are second years too so have probably gone through the whole partying and nights out phase last year. Plus I'm boring . Plus I think I've not really made as much of an effort as I should have Anyway, how are you doing?
Original post by avhhs
Maybe... Or was it me that did not make enough effort?
Its just that uni has been pretty boring for me so far . I've not been on a single "proper" night out yet and it is almost 2 weeks now since I moved in (one outside the uni campus and not to the bar/club they have on campus). Just happens that my flat is really quiet and hardly see people, but I spent the first few days mostly with people from 2 neighbouring flats. Now a week ago things went downhill as induction and other stuff started so people got really busy. Most of them are second years too so have probably gone through the whole partying and nights out phase last year. Plus I'm boring . Plus I think I've not really made as much of an effort as I should have
Anyway, how are you doing?
Its just that uni has been pretty boring for me so far . I've not been on a single "proper" night out yet and it is almost 2 weeks now since I moved in (one outside the uni campus and not to the bar/club they have on campus). Just happens that my flat is really quiet and hardly see people, but I spent the first few days mostly with people from 2 neighbouring flats. Now a week ago things went downhill as induction and other stuff started so people got really busy. Most of them are second years too so have probably gone through the whole partying and nights out phase last year. Plus I'm boring . Plus I think I've not really made as much of an effort as I should have Anyway, how are you doing?
Join a few different societies, and at least some will have (among other social events) 'proper' nights out.
This will be a long post, I'm so sorry. Thanks to the others who quoted me too, I've lost your posts though 
To be honest I can't say I've made any close friends yet, but the calmer guy I spoke about is a postgrad who is the nicest person to me in the flat. I rarely see him (I don't see much of ANY of them) but he always asks me how my day has been and stuff like that. He likes going to the clubs and stuff but he is very laid back said he won't really be doing that after Freshers as he is doing quite an intense course. I have found one similar girl at my induction, she is doing a different course but I asked her to come to a comedy night with me and we had a good time, but as soon as I got back into my room I wanted to cry again
I never went out much with friends at home, in fact I would often turn down invites if I just wasn't feeling it - but they were always good to me about it and I always knew they would be there at school every day when I went in. I don't have that comfort now and I think that is what's getting to me.
I wish I had a quiet flat like you! I know what you mean about feeling lucky, I saw a homeless guy earlier and I thought to myself "I'm such an ungrateful pig". I have been given such a great opportunity. So many people have it worse than me yet I sit at home crying most of the day for no reason. Started crying just now 
There really aren't many quiet events at all, there is another comedy night tonight but I've no one to go with. Could go on my own I suppose. They have lots of quiet events for the postgrads, but none for Freshers - my uni has a VERY strong drinking and partying culture because there are clubs everywhere. I am looking forward to the society tasters though. Most of my flatmates act like I am an alien and I'm terrified they will turn against me. Every time I hear loud voices and laughing or screaming in the flat or in the corridor outside I start shaking because I don't know who they are, what they want or when their noise will stop. I feel scared in what is supposed to be my own home.
I'm thinking of calling Nightline if I feel bad tonight. However, I am going over to a second year's house today to talk - my halls representative put me in touch with her because she said we are similar. I'm really hoping this will help. It's my mornings that are usually the worst - all day I panic about whether there will be noise tonight and what I am going to do with myself for the morning/afternoon. However, I haven't been miserable ALL day every day - I am finding myself having really intense mood swings. I went shopping on my own yesterday and my attitude at first was "I don't give a **** what anyone thinks, this is fun and I'm having a great time in my own company!" but about an hour later, I very suddenly went into misery mode, thinking "oh god what am I doing here alone. This is crap and I'm a loner". Finding my emotions so unpredictable and difficult to deal with.
Original post by avhhs
Hey, sorry to hear you are not doing well 
. I think it was a good thing that you didn't go when you didn't feel comfortable, I feel that is one of the worst things you can do. You have managed to make a close friend which is a great thing . I guess socialising just comes extremely naturally to some people 
. I hope you will find similar people at some point . And what is this thing about going on the buses? Sometimes I do that if I'm feeling down and it cheers me up 
(on my first night/morning I decided to take the last night bus into Central London ).
With my flat, they are really quiet and you can go a whole day without seeing someone. The 2 of 3 flats on my floor I've been hanging out with (don't know anyone from the last one) has mainly second years and as a result they don't really go out, plus they aren't really party animals so in that case I'm actually really lucky that I've found people I'm comfortable with (although I've found bad habits creeping back). Heck, I've not been on a proper night out and I've been here around 10 days 
(only been out to the club on campus once and had a decent time). I really want to go on a proper night out, just for the experience . I have had periods when I've felt down because things aren't going my way but I've reminded myself that I'm extremely lucky to even have this chance, my uni place was only confirmed around 2 weeks after results day and it looked almost certain that I would have to repeat a year.
Lecture wasn't too bad, just given the introduction to the modules. Not looking forward to Wednesday's one because it is Maths and I absolutely dislike maths.
. I think it was a good thing that you didn't go when you didn't feel comfortable, I feel that is one of the worst things you can do. You have managed to make a close friend which is a great thing . I guess socialising just comes extremely naturally to some people . I hope you will find similar people at some point . And what is this thing about going on the buses? Sometimes I do that if I'm feeling down and it cheers me up (on my first night/morning I decided to take the last night bus into Central London ).With my flat, they are really quiet and you can go a whole day without seeing someone. The 2 of 3 flats on my floor I've been hanging out with (don't know anyone from the last one) has mainly second years and as a result they don't really go out, plus they aren't really party animals so in that case I'm actually really lucky that I've found people I'm comfortable with (although I've found bad habits creeping back
). Heck, I've not been on a proper night out and I've been here around 10 days (only been out to the club on campus once and had a decent time). I really want to go on a proper night out, just for the experience . I have had periods when I've felt down because things aren't going my way but I've reminded myself that I'm extremely lucky to even have this chance, my uni place was only confirmed around 2 weeks after results day and it looked almost certain that I would have to repeat a year.Lecture wasn't too bad, just given the introduction to the modules. Not looking forward to Wednesday's one because it is Maths and I absolutely dislike maths.
To be honest I can't say I've made any close friends yet, but the calmer guy I spoke about is a postgrad who is the nicest person to me in the flat. I rarely see him (I don't see much of ANY of them) but he always asks me how my day has been and stuff like that. He likes going to the clubs and stuff but he is very laid back said he won't really be doing that after Freshers as he is doing quite an intense course. I have found one similar girl at my induction, she is doing a different course but I asked her to come to a comedy night with me and we had a good time, but as soon as I got back into my room I wanted to cry again
I never went out much with friends at home, in fact I would often turn down invites if I just wasn't feeling it - but they were always good to me about it and I always knew they would be there at school every day when I went in. I don't have that comfort now and I think that is what's getting to me. I wish I had a quiet flat like you!
I know what you mean about feeling lucky, I saw a homeless guy earlier and I thought to myself "I'm such an ungrateful pig". I have been given such a great opportunity. So many people have it worse than me yet I sit at home crying most of the day for no reason. Started crying just now Original post by Anonymous
Can't hurt to call in but seriously, do what you want during freshers week. Freshers week is known for drunken club nights but its overrated. Everyone has their own thing and yours isnt clubbing. Hell, mine isn't clubbing unless I'm comfortable with the people. You should have other quieter events going on which should be better for you. Pub quizzes are fairly common, but also in the next week or so there should be society taster events. That's like a second freshers week to me. That can be good fun and you should share more common interests with these people than your flatmates. When I was in halls I only hung out with them during freshers week, I soon lost interest in them. And that's not a problem really, they should be able to accept you're your own person with your own friends and don't have to hang out with them.
Can't hurt to contact counselling services. Or at worst I believe they might have a service like samaritans you can call at the university to talk things over. They might be really useful, especially considering they'll know it's very stressful being at a new place and that they know not everyone likes to drink. They'll know what's going on for people like you and what you can do.
Can't hurt to contact counselling services. Or at worst I believe they might have a service like samaritans you can call at the university to talk things over. They might be really useful, especially considering they'll know it's very stressful being at a new place and that they know not everyone likes to drink. They'll know what's going on for people like you and what you can do.
There really aren't many quiet events at all, there is another comedy night tonight but I've no one to go with. Could go on my own I suppose. They have lots of quiet events for the postgrads, but none for Freshers - my uni has a VERY strong drinking and partying culture because there are clubs everywhere. I am looking forward to the society tasters though. Most of my flatmates act like I am an alien and I'm terrified they will turn against me. Every time I hear loud voices and laughing or screaming in the flat or in the corridor outside I start shaking because I don't know who they are, what they want or when their noise will stop. I feel scared in what is supposed to be my own home.
I'm thinking of calling Nightline if I feel bad tonight. However, I am going over to a second year's house today to talk - my halls representative put me in touch with her because she said we are similar. I'm really hoping this will help. It's my mornings that are usually the worst - all day I panic about whether there will be noise tonight and what I am going to do with myself for the morning/afternoon. However, I haven't been miserable ALL day every day - I am finding myself having really intense mood swings. I went shopping on my own yesterday and my attitude at first was "I don't give a **** what anyone thinks, this is fun and I'm having a great time in my own company!" but about an hour later, I very suddenly went into misery mode, thinking "oh god what am I doing here alone. This is crap and I'm a loner". Finding my emotions so unpredictable and difficult to deal with.
Original post by PonchoKid
I know I'm only new here but you seem like such a strong person. Please keep going and don't let your efforts be for nothing. I believe in you
Hello again! I had to take some time out from school because I thought I heard kids joking about cutting themselves and each other. I left to the care home where my mother works, but the alarms and smell of disinfectant give me awkward memories of the psych unit. ;; Ah, well... How is everyone?
Original post by avhhs
Maybe... Or was it me that did not make enough effort?
Of course it wasn't... please don't think that!
Original post by PonchoKid
only got my boyfriend
Original post by superwolf
Joy of joys, I think uni have deleted my online access to pretty much everything. Including emails, exam results and access to journal articles (mildly important when WRITING A ****ING DISSERTATION). 
Yeah, these are the times, you love university. But try to use that time to reread some parts, thinking about layout, sleep, ...
Original post by bullettheory
I feel so stressed at uni, today I just went and cried in the loos at break cus I can't cope with it. I feel so close to just doping out and just leaving before more people start to get hurt. I know they are going to make my girlfriend go soon. I haven't got long left to fix it. I don't know. I feel freaky low and scared. Nothing will be alright. I'm just such a failure, and I don't know how to beat them.
I feel so stressed at uni, today I just went and cried in the loos at break cus I can't cope with it. I feel so close to just doping out and just leaving before more people start to get hurt. I know they are going to make my girlfriend go soon. I haven't got long left to fix it. I don't know. I feel freaky low and scared. Nothing will be alright. I'm just such a failure, and I don't know how to beat them.
You don't hurt other people and get on making contacts. Nobody will leave you unless you leave them and even then they won't. You not a failure, just do something nice for you. Anyone there knowing what's going on with you? Someone you can trust?
Anyway, I am allowed to repeat the year and I just have to try to get convinced that it will work and everything will get better. Although I doubt it.
I definitely need to make a plan, how everything will work out and need to find work, too. 
Original post by avhhs
Its just that uni has been pretty boring for me so far . I've not been on a single "proper" night out yet and it is almost 2 weeks now since I moved in (one outside the uni campus and not to the bar/club they have on campus). Just happens that my flat is really quiet and hardly see people, but I spent the first few days mostly with people from 2 neighbouring flats. Now a week ago things went downhill as induction and other stuff started so people got really busy. Most of them are second years too so have probably gone through the whole partying and nights out phase last year. Plus I'm boring . Plus I think I've not really made as much of an effort as I should have
Anyway, how are you doing?
Its just that uni has been pretty boring for me so far . I've not been on a single "proper" night out yet and it is almost 2 weeks now since I moved in (one outside the uni campus and not to the bar/club they have on campus). Just happens that my flat is really quiet and hardly see people, but I spent the first few days mostly with people from 2 neighbouring flats. Now a week ago things went downhill as induction and other stuff started so people got really busy. Most of them are second years too so have probably gone through the whole partying and nights out phase last year. Plus I'm boring . Plus I think I've not really made as much of an effort as I should have Anyway, how are you doing?
Aw no.
I'm sorry I don't have any advice about uni- I'm not there yet. Would it be easier to make friends at societies or groups and stuff? Original post by Hollyperidol
Hello again! I had to take some time out from school because I thought I heard kids joking about cutting themselves and each other. I left to the care home where my mother works, but the alarms and smell of disinfectant give me awkward memories of the psych unit. ;; Ah, well... How is everyone?
You shouldn't have to put up with people saying stuff like that- is there anybody you could report it to?
I'm okay thank you.
The helping out with the outdoor ed stuff went well. 
How are you?
Almost had an actual productive day today, until defeated by le evils of technologie again. Was working on uni computer and it did a weird 'I hate you, I'm going to log out for no reason' move, so I lost all my things.
Suppose it teaches me to not work on multiple things at once, or at least save every 2 mins. Stuff on my emails all auto-saved so that's fine, but was filling out some applications (and actually doing it not just moaning about it!) which I've lost. Am so annoyed. I do not have the energy to do it all over again, but the deadline for most important thing is tomorrow at noon. I dislike computers. Go back to the pen and paper era I say.
Suppose it teaches me to not work on multiple things at once, or at least save every 2 mins. Stuff on my emails all auto-saved so that's fine, but was filling out some applications (and actually doing it not just moaning about it!) which I've lost. Am so annoyed. I do not have the energy to do it all over again, but the deadline for most important thing is tomorrow at noon.
I dislike computers. Go back to the pen and paper era I say.Original post by Sultana
Almost had an actual productive day today, until defeated by le evils of technologie again. Was working on uni computer and it did a weird 'I hate you, I'm going to log out for no reason' move, so I lost all my things.
Suppose it teaches me to not work on multiple things at once, or at least save every 2 mins. Stuff on my emails all auto-saved so that's fine, but was filling out some applications (and actually doing it not just moaning about it!) which I've lost. Am so annoyed. I do not have the energy to do it all over again, but the deadline for most important thing is tomorrow at noon. I dislike computers. Go back to the pen and paper era I say.
Suppose it teaches me to not work on multiple things at once, or at least save every 2 mins. Stuff on my emails all auto-saved so that's fine, but was filling out some applications (and actually doing it not just moaning about it!) which I've lost. Am so annoyed. I do not have the energy to do it all over again, but the deadline for most important thing is tomorrow at noon.
I dislike computers. Go back to the pen and paper era I say.I'm currently getting attacked by the evils of technology as well... Trying to fill out job application forms and computer's being rubbish. I'm totally with you on the going back to the pen and paper era. Also, seemingly Skype's decided we're no longer allowed to talk, given I'm guessing my Skype messages last night also didn't come through.
Original post by tasha96
Ha most of it was deadly dull unfortunately. A lot of laws and procedures and stuff. Came away with a trees worth of paperwork. 
But this was just a training session- the real fun comes with the proper meeting tomorrow.
Well thank you.
But I doubt I bring them all anything but bother.
I went down and spoke to her, but she's still really annoyed with me. Dont deal with this kind of thing well at all.
I did go in today. Did almost no work, but I've been told not to beat myself up about that- the aim is just to get me going in at the moment.
How are you?
A lot of laws and procedures and stuff. Came away with a trees worth of paperwork. But this was just a training session- the real fun comes with the proper meeting tomorrow. Well thank you.
But I doubt I bring them all anything but bother. I went down and spoke to her, but she's still really annoyed with me. Dont deal with this kind of thing well at all.
I did go in today.
Did almost no work, but I've been told not to beat myself up about that- the aim is just to get me going in at the moment. How are you?
I'm sorry for the late reply! I had like 5 replies from different threads and then simply forgot
Training sessions are never fun haha, but I hope it'll get better though!!
Paperwork is never the one but I guess it has to be done If it bothered them, they wouldn't be wanting to be with/talk to the wonderful you
Aww hun I hope things are better between you now
I don't either, I hate confrontation I'mg lad you got an aim cause getting an aim will caused motivation and motivation will get you feeling mentally stronger!!
I'm proud of you 
I'm doing great thank you! I'm hoping it'll last as well
How are you? Original post by Nathanielle
You have a boyfriend! Not only one ... and don't give up, never! I am there, if you need somebody to talk.
i do, hes far to good to me though
im feeling a bit better today, gonna make stir fry for tea, and just bought banoffee pie and cider
Original post by PonchoKid
im feeling a bit better today, gonna make stir fry for tea, and just bought banoffee pie and cider
im feeling a bit better today, gonna make stir fry for tea, and just bought banoffee pie and cider
Sounds delicious!
Have your extuanating circumstances been accepted?
