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Mental Health Support Society XVI

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Original post by PandaWho
Urgh **** sake :sadpanda: :cry2:


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:hugs: here if you want a chat :hugs:
I've messaged 2 girls today regarding friendship and advice, 1 just stonewalled me, the other gave 1 message back :/

I get so much more attention and luck offline for some reason, shame I'm scared to not hold everyone at a 50ft distance.
Original post by Anonymous
I've messaged 2 girls today regarding friendship and advice, 1 just stonewalled me, the other gave 1 message back :/

I get so much more attention and luck offline for some reason, shame I'm scared to not hold everyone at a 50ft distance.


I'd try and not take it personally - girls get bombarded with messages from random people all the time, I doubt they even read half of them if they've got any sanity. :tongue: Maybe think some more about why you're messaging them and how you might be coming across? You might be thinking one thing and coming across a different way, or (not to be rude) you might be messaging people who simply don't welcome unsolicited messages from relative strangers.
Original post by furryface12
Yeah, not had the best day but I'm alright :smile:

Does sound busy :eek: Well done with work, the plant thing sounds like something I'd do :tongue: 9 hours is long though! Hope it goes okay, glad you're better with busy-ness :hugs:


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Hope today has been better?

Thanks :smile: Fully trained now so I've been on the till by myself all day :eek: There's a tiny chance I might have fudged the till up a bit but trying not to worry.
Original post by Midnightmemories
:hugs: here if you want a chat :hugs:


Yhanks, but its triggery horribleness thats confusing :sadpanda:


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Original post by PandaWho
Yhanks, but its triggery horribleness thats confusing :sadpanda:


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Honestly, i don't mind... PM me if you think that telling someone will help :hugs:
Original post by superwolf
I'd try and not take it personally - girls get bombarded with messages from random people all the time, I doubt they even read half of them if they've got any sanity. :tongue: Maybe think some more about why you're messaging them and how you might be coming across? You might be thinking one thing and coming across a different way, or (not to be rude) you might be messaging people who simply don't welcome unsolicited messages from relative strangers.


I suppose so. They weren't particularly forward. One I didn't expect much of a.chance with but the other has upset me a bit, especially as they seem familiar.

I find it really hard NOT to take personally, my main experiences with women my age have been rejection, betrayal, bullying or laughing at me behind my back.
Original post by superwolf
I'd try and not take it personally - girls get bombarded with messages from random people all the time, I doubt they even read half of them if they've got any sanity. :tongue: Maybe think some more about why you're messaging them and how you might be coming across? You might be thinking one thing and coming across a different way, or (not to be rude) you might be messaging people who simply don't welcome unsolicited messages from relative strangers.


And judging from.their post history they're happy taking.messages from and talking to any relative stranger who isn't me.
Original post by Anonymous
And judging from.their post history they're happy taking.messages from and talking to any relative stranger who isn't me.


To be honest you're coming across a little creepy... researching girls and judging them on who they do and don't talk to seems a little bit... :unsure:
Original post by Anonymous
And judging from.their post history they're happy taking.messages from and talking to any relative stranger who isn't me.


Maybe it's the sense of entitlement? Women don't owe your their attention.
Original post by Valvopus
Maybe it's the sense of entitlement? Women don't owe your their attention.


this ^
Original post by superwolf
To be honest you're coming across a little creepy... researching girls and judging them on who they do and don't talk to seems a little bit... :unsure:


PRSOM


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Original post by Anonymous
And judging from.their post history they're happy taking.messages from and talking to any relative stranger who isn't me.


Just because they may talk to other people, doesnt mean they want or have to talk to every single person that talks to them :dontknow:


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Original post by Valvopus
Maybe it's the sense of entitlement? Women don't owe your their attention.


Where does this come from? It makes men having connections to talk to a privelege. Feels a bit **** when a guy has low self esteem and is getting told if he doesn't reach this standard he doesn't deserve a hello.


Original post by superwolf
To be honest you're coming across a little creepy... researching girls and judging them on who they do and don't talk to seems a little bit... :unsure:


It's not research it's I saw a few of their posts...but you may be right
Original post by PandaWho
Just because they may talk to other people, doesnt mean they want or have to talk to every single person that talks to them :dontknow:


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Original post by PandaWho
Just because they may talk to other people, doesnt mean they want or have to talk to every single person that talks to them :dontknow:


Posted from TSR Mobile

True, but if they talk to 10 conplete strangers and the 11th stranger (you) is ignored, you're bound to take that personally.
Original post by Anonymous
Where does this come from? It makes men having connections to talk to a privelege. Feels a bit **** when a guy has low self esteem and is getting told if he doesn't reach this standard he doesn't deserve a hello.




It's not research it's I saw a few of their posts...but you may be right


My comment comes in reply to yours :smile: Just because they talk to some people it doesn't mean their obliged to talk to anybody who wants their attention. Heck, I don't talk to half the people that I could, mostly because they annoy me in some way. It's not about a standard, women everywhere don't actually have a conference every month or so about which guys we talk to.
Also the way your asking now, being angry at them because they won't talk to you is actually a really good way to ensure women don't want to talk to you. :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
True, but if they talk to 10 conplete strangers and the 11th stranger (you) is ignored, you're bound to take that personally.


You wouldn't think 'good grief that woman has the patience of a saint talking to all those random people - maybe she just needed a rest'?
Original post by Valvopus
My comment comes in reply to yours :smile: Just because they talk to some people it doesn't mean their obliged to talk to anybody who wants their attention. Heck, I don't talk to half the people that I could, mostly because they annoy me in some way. It's not about a standard, women everywhere don't actually have a conference every month or so about which guys we talk to.
Also the way your asking now, being angry at them because they won't talk to you is actually a really good way to ensure women don't want to talk to you. :smile:


So if she talks to everyone, except myself, with no context for all the others...I should blame myself and not even bring it up? I literally brought it up here and you were all.against me.

I don'tbsee how it's safe to make friends knowing they can pretend you don't exist and it's basically your fault. I saw a thread on Relationships where a guy ignored a girl and he was called an insensitve ignorant prick who doesn't deserve her time or attention

Original post by superwolf
You wouldn't think 'good grief that woman has the patience of a saint talking to all those random people - maybe she just needed a rest'?


I suppose so but recent trend is that everything men do has to be about women feel. She will have a rest but she'll ignore me and several people here want me to bkame myself for this. Given that the standard respinse to 'I've been ignored' is 'it's your own fault' this just reibforces the idea it's a bad idea to talk to people and I should be ashamed for taking some of their time
Original post by Anonymous
So if she talks to everyone, except myself, with no context for all the others...I should blame myself and not even bring it up? I literally brought it up here and you were all.against me.

I don'tbsee how it's safe to make friends knowing they can pretend you don't exist and it's basically your fault. I saw a thread on Relationships where a guy ignored a girl and he was called an insensitve ignorant prick who doesn't deserve her time or attention



I suppose so but recent trend is that everything men do has to be about women feel. She will have a rest but she'll ignore me and several people here want me to bkame myself for this. Given that the standard respinse to 'I've been ignored' is 'it's your own fault' this just reibforces the idea it's a bad idea to talk to people and I should be ashamed for taking some of their time


Do you have proof shes talking to every single person that talks to her but you?
Doubtful


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Original post by Anonymous
So if she talks to everyone, except myself, with no context for all the others...I should blame myself and not even bring it up? I literally brought it up here and you were all.against me.

I don'tbsee how it's safe to make friends knowing they can pretend you don't exist and it's basically your fault. I saw a thread on Relationships where a guy ignored a girl and he was called an insensitve ignorant prick who doesn't deserve her time or attention


You are not entitled to a person's attention. Even if that person is a woman. You are not the victim here because any relationship has to be mutual, the decision to not enter into one is not mutual. The good thing about this is while friends can break off contact with you without explanation is that you are totally allowed to do the same thing.
I haven't seen that thread so I won't be commenting on it.

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