I'm so so so sorry about your loss. To get through exam time and still get to this point with such a horrific event happening is so brave- I really credit you. Ever need to rage, express sorrow, type out your feelings, whatever- I'm 100% here and my PM is always open to you.
I get pretty stressed around exam time and worked last year during GCSEs on developing strategies ready for 6th form. Here's what I got for relaxing:
1) Exercise- even if it's doing a few sit ups in your room, having a positive body image (science- endorphins allow this) and feeling better just helps you out
2) Clean your room and get organised. Keep a corner of your room for school work, allocate slots in folders for each subject, keep your pencil case handy, organise notes and sections of revision guides with post-it-notes, keep it tidy and be proud of your revision.
3) Turn off your phone/laptop around 9pm and keep your eyes closed and picture putting your hands and feet in sand and lifting the sand and it falling back to the ground. Soft, gentle thoughts and keep calm and sleep well
4) Sufficient revision is key to feeling calm(ish) on exam day. Nothing feels better than walking into an exam knowing the exam layout, your topics inside out and closing the paper without being able to stop grinning. Also, don't forget examiner's reports. They seem pointless at first like "candidates were good here etc" but they do point out common errors like CO2 isn't emitted from volcanic eruptions, which I always thought. The report explains the thought processes of examiners and influences your ways of writing. Also, places where candidates slip up is a dead giveaway that topic may come up again in the future. Questions are repeated so many times!
5) Give yourself some me-time. Massage yourself with cocoa butter, take baths and read a book, go for a run in a park, grab a costa and walk around a busy high street and people watch, do something that is independent and distracts you for a second. You're NOT allowed to think about exams during this short period, so keep it short and busy
6) Confiding in friends that are struggling too helps too. Go to a park, or if you're near London I sit in Trafalgar Square and discuss stress there bc it's so diverse and everyone near you has their own worries from completely different directions. Idky that helps.
7) Go on year 12/13 threads on here, find people who do your subjects and get their help! Ask their alevel grade and any tips.
Yep, you're deffo not alone. I'm a firm believer of this, my peers are, my teachers tell me how stupid it is that they've seen us all in tears due to school, and it's all for one stupid envelope in August.
The problem is, nobody will listen. There's been countless protests about mind over grades, and reducing workload for us- but think about it this way: Imagine a world where some people didn't stress about learning the content for biology/chemistry, and flew through A levels knowing what a covalent bond was and went to med school with that. They're qualified doctors, barely knowing anything. The grades you aim to get reflect your chosen career path. Aiming for the top grades opens doors for top careers, less good grades doesn'tcompletely close doors, absolutely not, but obvs in an interview you'd not be chosen against someone who has higher. We will ALL be victims of this at one point in our lives.
Focus on present you. Focus on how you feel, how much you want to work today, how you want to revise today. I've spent my whole life making decisions based on my future, and in some cases they;ve worked out but there;s been more times when I'm stressed and petrified and angry about my future than I would be if I had taken the subjects I loved at GCSE. Care about the present!
School is a small fraction of your life. You get the grades and get out. I agree with what someone mentioned above about how getting stressed and being in a horrific mental state (as long as you reach out and get help OR manage it yourself) you'll find is usually worth it over the next 2 years to get the grades and get out of education or off to uni. You can take a gap year to get a break and go travelling and breathe different air, or get a part time job and earn some money and then go to uni. I hate saying this, but you've got to pull through these next few years and they'll go by so quickly. Hang in there gal, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now and know it'll be perfect