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Anorexia and Depression

Hi, I'm not sure really why I am writing this or what I wish to gain from this but here I am. For multiple years now I have had an eating disorder, for years I didnt really concider it a 'disorder' as my mind was blind to these things. I didnt know what depression was or any of these things, not eating, starving my body was classed as normal to me. Depression and Anxiety? A deadly duo which I wasn't aware of due to my young age. It took a large part of my childhood, it got worse and worse.. it developed into a dark, dangerous problem which could have been deadly. This year would mark almost 5 years of this, which started as a little diet into going into a mindset where I didn't care due to my anxiety rate if I ever got out of my bed again (Which of course, you know what that implies) and quite frankly, that is what I wanted. Last summer and this year has been my worst mental health period, my parents wanted to send me for professional help (they had wanted to for a long time but I refused), my friends agreed in someways as they were all worried about me. Christmas things changed, I couldnt be this person anymore and I have been on a road of acceptance with my body. It is slowly working and I am slowly feeling happier and better. When I crash, I crash badly but that will always be a problem. I have anorexia and I can finally admit it. I might not still be here if I didn't stop myself that one time or if I didn't do what I call binge eat, I am on the edge of not being healthy but I maintain it by loosing weight from not eating what I should or at all and then eating too much or what is classed as average. Back to the self love, this isnt the case anymore. Not as often anyway, sure I have had moments and multiple breakdowns but I no longer starve myself, I am trying my hardest to eat properly, acceot my body, accept the fact that my mind is wrong and not everybody hates me and would be better without me and simply start loving myself more. It is working, i'm getting better and I no longer let my 'demons' bother me so much. If this works, it will be life changing. Maybe writing this was to show people that they can't give up, keep trying, try everything. I want people to do a step by step journey of getting better.. step one, you have to accept compliments from others or simply from yourself. If you have always been too scared to wear something or change something about yourself... do it now. I don't know if anyone will read this, this is slowly working for me so maybe we can all see if it works together. Stay strong. x