Accepting loneliness: any tips?

Hello

I’ve been alone for many years. I have often been surrounded by fake friends and end up distancing myself from them when I realise their fake.

Over the years I’ve learnt of ways to cope with feeling lonely but the main one is keeping myself busy and not letting my mind wonder- expect for during mindfulness meditations (I should be doing this often but I don’t). Being physically tried also helps, going for runs or going a gym when it’s not busy*.

* I don’t do when it’s busy as my self confidence is non-existent at this point. I try and work on it but it just makes me cry. I’m also pretty anxious but am able to small talk stranger.

Does anyone have any other ways of dealing with loneliness? What do you do on the weekend to deal when there’s so much time- more work? A second job/ volunteering?

Hello

I’ve been alone for many years. I have often been surrounded by fake friends and end up distancing myself from them when I realise their fake.

Over the years I’ve learnt of ways to cope with feeling lonely but the main one is keeping myself busy and not letting my mind wonder- expect for during mindfulness meditations (I should be doing this often but I don’t). Being physically tried also helps, going for runs or going a gym when it’s not busy*.

* I don’t do when it’s busy as my self confidence is non-existent at this point. I try and work on it but it just makes me cry. I’m also pretty anxious but am able to small talk stranger.

Does anyone have any other ways of dealing with loneliness? What do you do on the weekend to deal when there’s so much time- more work? A second job/ volunteering?

You were born alone with no friends. You’re gonna die on your own. You could sleep through the night without friends. You could wake up without friends. This means you can adapt without them in your life. People don’t bring happiness to you. You just have to steal it. Once you realise you’re better off alone. You’ll be happy.

this is a really good question, and it's something that I'm sure plenty of people have problems with but don't always seek out solutions for, in fear of being mocked. one way of dealing with feelings of loneliness is turning your attention to yourself and really think of ways you want to help yourself. You've already mentioned that you go to the gym sometimes, which is a fantastic hobby. i'm sure the more you do, the more confident you will get in those environments even when there are more people around. have a look online for good training regiments to keep it interesting and stop you getting bored of it.

as well as physical health it's always really important to focus on your mental health. keep yourself busy, but without overworking yourself to exhaustion. are there any things that you really wanted to learn to do? like learning a language, or even juggle? these types of self improvement with small noticeable improvements have been shown to really help with anxiety and confidence.

as your own health and confidence grows, it will show to other people, which is when you will start to have the right people gravitate towards you, instead of the types of people you mentioned have hung around you.

hope this has helped

I'm hoping to volunteer somewhere over the summer. Or learn to cook, but I'd have to get over a miserly habit of not overspending on food

Volunteering or after school clubs could be an option. But you can also try getting a pet. An animal companion can ease stress and loneliness.

Thanks

I’ve always been alone and it sometimes grips me in pain I can’t quite describe. I was in that place when I made this post.

But I do have a lot of self work to do and I owe myself that. Perhaps once I do that I’ll be happier.

You can be better off alone. But sometimes loneliness strikes you. So in case you have a friend that will definitely be there for you when it’s affecting you. Like talk or hang out. It’d be a nice idea. Unless you guarantee that loneliness won’t affect you later.

Thank you . As lovely as having a friend seems, for when it hits (or just to share life in general with) not a luxury I have.

Thank you . As lovely as having a friend seems, for when it hits (or just to share life in general with) not a luxury I have.

If you are at uni, you could house share? This helps to an extent.. More so, if you're NOT at uni imo, because everyone isn't as immature.

Try to find a friend. You can dm me. Ps many of tsr members would be glad to talk to you whenever you feel like it. I’m the first of them

Thanks for this.

I’m finishing university I have one exam left. I have uni friends- we only talk about work and if we need help with it. It’s very brief. Otherwise we don’t talk.

I did try and ask them to meet outside of uni- venture into town etc. I hopped it would get us closer as friends, perhaps I was wrong. This happened twice and then I started to get turned down every time I asked- they had other commitments or would sit in library, work in silence or they would say yes but last minute something else would come up. (Town is a 5 minute walk from uni). I stopped asking and during our breaks we sat in the library and worked in silence before lectures and seminars started again for two years.

I did also live out during first year. But I changed uni to commute from home. The homesickness was awful and my mental health quickly declined. I made three friends there but none are in contact still. Perhaps if I stuck it out we would be friends. I’m not sure. Regardless no one from the first uni is contact. I did try for 6 months after I left, but my messages and phone calls got ignored. So I just stopped.

I live at home with my parents. Hearing them talk and get passionate about different topics helps me keep sane for the time being. The odd passing conversation greatly helps too.