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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    not really on skype, but dunno, tidied my room a bt so i can see, currently sat with all my lights on looking, which probably isnt the best thing to do. up at 7am aswell really cant cope with this, not now, not ever
    :hugs: Have you got any zopiclone or sleeping pills you could take and try to get to sleep? I've got a big list of distractions I can send you if you like, there may be one on there that takes your fancy.
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    (Original post by bullettheory)
    :hugs: Have you got any zopiclone or sleeping pills you could take and try to get to sleep? I've got a big list of distractions I can send you if you like, there may be one on there that takes your fancy.
    i have buts its in the middle of my suitcase which is pack and downstairs :sad:
    rory is on cam to me, so hes keeping an eye on me, i have a lamp on that i can leave on over night, and iv put music on my laptop, might change it to the radio, so theres talking aswell.

    things have just been getting worse and worse recently, deffinately didnt need this tonight :cry2:

    thanks though
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    i have buts its in the middle of my suitcase which is pack and downstairs :sad:
    rory is on cam to me, so hes keeping an eye on me, i have a lamp on that i can leave on over night, and iv put music on my laptop, might change it to the radio, so theres talking aswell.

    things have just been getting worse and worse recently, deffinately didnt need this tonight :cry2:

    thanks though
    Ah thats annoying. Yeah the radio can be good - a human voice can be really good. Glad you've got Rory to talk to if you need to. Are you heading to his tomorrow?

    Have you spoken to anyone about things getting worse for you? I noticed you had a counselling telephone appointment soon. I know phones can be really scary, but the counselling people will be expecting that. I've had phone assessments before, and they are pretty standard - just go through what has been going on for you, maybe ask you if there is anything you think that would help. I know it's hard, but try to relax, it will be okay, they are just there to try and help you. Maybe speaking to them about how things have gone downhill recently will help.

    I remember you saying that you had been taken off your meds? Have things got worse since then? Maybe it would be worth going back to your GP and talking to them about medication, if you feel it was helpful?
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    (Original post by bullettheory)
    Ah thats annoying. Yeah the radio can be good - a human voice can be really good. Glad you've got Rory to talk to if you need to. Are you heading to his tomorrow?

    Have you spoken to anyone about things getting worse for you? I noticed you had a counselling telephone appointment soon. I know phones can be really scary, but the counselling people will be expecting that. I've had phone assessments before, and they are pretty standard - just go through what has been going on for you, maybe ask you if there is anything you think that would help. I know it's hard, but try to relax, it will be okay, they are just there to try and help you. Maybe speaking to them about how things have gone downhill recently will help.

    I remember you saying that you had been taken off your meds? Have things got worse since then? Maybe it would be worth going back to your GP and talking to them about medication, if you feel it was helpful?
    Yeah the human voices help me
    Yeah i am, hence the meds being in my suitcase so he can look after me

    No i havnt iv always held stuff back from drs and stuff. So im hoping i can use the phone assesment to say stuff not face to face as thats easier for me.

    No im having my meds cut down. Going back to 20mg cos apparently they wont help me :dontknow: im just slowly giving up on everything :sadnod:

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    Not sure I can do this. I have this deep sickening feeling and I feel like I'm losing control. Today has been horrible :cry2: I want to just hide away cause this isn't right. None of this is right.
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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    Yeah the human voices help me
    Yeah i am, hence the meds being in my suitcase so he can look after me

    No i havnt iv always held stuff back from drs and stuff. So im hoping i can use the phone assesment to say stuff not face to face as thats easier for me.

    No im having my meds cut down. Going back to 20mg cos apparently they wont help me :dontknow: im just slowly giving up on everything :sadnod:

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    Ah good - hopefully it will be good fun! You guys got much planned?

    That's a good idea, maybe write some stuff down too, so you say everything you want to on the phone.

    Oh okay. Is that of Citalopram? Did they say why it wouldn't help. Sometimes medication won't help people, and talking treatments (like counselling) are better. For example, with me, my diagnosis is BPD, and the primary treatment isn't medication, it's therapy. However in my case, I take medication to help with co-morbid problems (psychotic features and depression). Even some people with depression won't respond to medication, and talking treatments will work much better (e.g. if there is previous trauma). Just because they don't think medication will help, doesn't mean there is no help. Have you ever had counselling or CBT before?
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I feel like I'm being watched constantly. I've tried looking around for cameras but I can't see any and I can't let on to my wife what I'm doing as I know she'll shout at me. But I can't get rid of this feeling, it's making me extremely nervous and on edge constantly. The adverts on the bus were telling me to get off and run away but I can't do that as my wife will phone the police she told me before .The last thing I want is the police on my ass. But that leaves me with this problem, what do I do? I feel like I need to run away and hide somewhere safe, our apartment isn't a safe place anymore. I've spent the last week going to sleep on the sofa while my wife is on the computer so I'm not alone but it only helps so much and doesn't get rid of the feeling. What really needs to happen is that I need to run away but that leaves my wife alone and vulnerable I'm also too much of a coward to do that and face them on my own. Really feel scared and on edge.
    :hugs: That must be a really horrible feeling. Is there anywhere you can go for a bit, just to get a bit of a break - like a mates house, or family? If you are worried about your girlfriend, maybe ask her to come with you? Have you talked to anyone about the cameras and feeling on edge? Like your mental health worker?
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    (Original post by 08batee)
    Not sure I can do this. I have this deep sickening feeling and I feel like I'm losing control. Today has been horrible :cry2: I want to just hide away cause this isn't right. None of this is right.
    :hugs: What's going on, what's happened today?
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    (Original post by bullettheory)
    Ah good - hopefully it will be good fun! You guys got much planned?

    That's a good idea, maybe write some stuff down too, so you say everything you want to on the phone.

    Oh okay. Is that of Citalopram? Did they say why it wouldn't help. Sometimes medication won't help people, and talking treatments (like counselling) are better. For example, with me, my diagnosis is BPD, and the primary treatment isn't medication, it's therapy. However in my case, I take medication to help with co-morbid problems (psychotic features and depression). Even some people with depression won't respond to medication, and talking treatments will work much better (e.g. if there is previous trauma). Just because they don't think medication will help, doesn't mean there is no help. Have you ever had counselling or CBT before?
    Just chilling and spending time together

    Yeah might write bullet points down to remind myself if she askes :yep:

    Yeah it is. She said because iv been depressed for such a long time and the cause is pretty much bullying and family related she thinks it will do me more good talking stuff through. Yeah in school i had a counsellor person that was from connexions and i had 3 sessions in uni... My uni 1 i just didnt get on with but my school 1 i saw every week from year 8-13
    Think i need something more than just talking though. Need to figure out how to deal with things and find other ways to deal with things...

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    (Original post by bullettheory)
    :hugs: That must be a really horrible feeling. Is there anywhere you can go for a bit, just to get a bit of a break - like a mates house, or family? If you are worried about your girlfriend, maybe ask her to come with you? Have you talked to anyone about the cameras and feeling on edge? Like your mental health worker?
    We're meant to be going away in a few days to her family's place. I'm not looking forward to it, as it means a lot of increased stress while I try and act as inconspicuous as possible. I haven't spoken to anyone about things, I don't feel like there's anyone I can turn to. I know if I try talking to her she's going to shout at me. She always claims I'm being paranoid and irrational.

    Not seeing my psychiatrist until we get back and don't really want to talk to her because a lot of what I'm being told is that the psychiatrist works for them so I still haven't decided (as stupid as it sounds) whether I trust her or not yet.

    So basically I'm pretty stuck right now. I'm trying desperately hard to just get on with life (ie writing my dissertation) but it's so hard to relax or concentrate when I've got these thoughts and feelings and it feels like things are only going to get worse.

    Thanks for replying. It means so much that I can share with people here and they don't react angrily.
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    Feeling really anxious about calling my boss tomorrow. I need to let them know that when I was in work on Monday I was pretty contagious (I didn't realise that obviously). I don't mind doing that but I'm supposed to be at work on Saturday and Sunday and they'll want to know if I'm fit to work. I won't be contagious but there's a good chance I'll still have a pretty not-healthy-at-all rash all over my arms and hands which just doesn't look good. Problem is that I don't know how long it will take for the rash to go down, only thing I can see to do is just to say that I won't be contagious but I may still have a rash.
    Feel strange posting on here about stuff that isn't directly MH but it's really triggering my anxiety.
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    (Original post by VaVe)
    Feeling really anxious about calling my boss tomorrow. I need to let them know that when I was in work on Monday I was pretty contagious (I didn't realise that obviously). I don't mind doing that but I'm supposed to be at work on Saturday and Sunday and they'll want to know if I'm fit to work. I won't be contagious but there's a good chance I'll still have a pretty not-healthy-at-all rash all over my arms and hands which just doesn't look good. Problem is that I don't know how long it will take for the rash to go down, only thing I can see to do is just to say that I won't be contagious but I may still have a rash.
    Feel strange posting on here about stuff that isn't directly MH but it's really triggering my anxiety.
    Calling bosses was the worst thing about working, especially if they are not the understanding sort. I feel for you. I wouldn't feel comfortable going in with a rash either. What do you do? Can you wear long sleeves?

    *

    I'm full term today. 37 weeks. That means baby could come any day from now for the next 5 weeks. I really hope he comes on his own, on time (within the next 3 weeks) and I don't have to be carrying him around and need inducing. I really need to meet him and hold him.

    I'm seeing my bf most of the day today, and going out for lunch. It's really weird him not being here to cuddle. I also get to go to choir later, which means going home to pick up my stuff and seeing my cat. I'll want to stay home when I see him but I won't feel strong, happy or safe enough there. I need my bf now. I'm starting to panic. Better get up and see nurses.

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    All packed and ready for my trip gonna be so good seeing my boyfriend again. But im also looking forward to not seeing my step dad. Just gonna miss my sister. When i get back shell have about 4 weeks before she gives birth :eek: but today i just have to get through 4 trains and hope i dont break down in the middle of birmingham station again :erm:

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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    All packed and ready for my trip gonna be so good seeing my boyfriend again. But im also looking forward to not seeing my step dad. Just gonna miss my sister. When i get back shell have about 4 weeks before she gives birth :eek: but today i just have to get through 4 trains and hope i dont break down in the middle of birmingham station again :erm:

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    Just think of seeing your bf again

    Nice to hear you are doing good though!
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    (Original post by VaVe)
    Feeling really anxious about calling my boss tomorrow. I need to let them know that when I was in work on Monday I was pretty contagious (I didn't realise that obviously). I don't mind doing that but I'm supposed to be at work on Saturday and Sunday and they'll want to know if I'm fit to work. I won't be contagious but there's a good chance I'll still have a pretty not-healthy-at-all rash all over my arms and hands which just doesn't look good. Problem is that I don't know how long it will take for the rash to go down, only thing I can see to do is just to say that I won't be contagious but I may still have a rash.
    Feel strange posting on here about stuff that isn't directly MH but it's really triggering my anxiety.
    What helps me when I have to make unpleasant calls, which is most non-social calls, is writing down beforehand what I have to say / want to achieve with the call.

    Hope it goes well!
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    I'm still going through a rough patch, I'm feeling anxious over silly things, not wanting to go out and just finding everything a massive effort. The increased AD does doesn't seem to have done much so looks like I might have to change, urgh. Ah well, trying to stay positive
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    (Original post by danny111)
    Just think of seeing your bf again

    Nice to hear you are doing good though!
    I always pannic and cry just hope it goes smoothly

    Not doing brilliantly but i guess im doing better...

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    (Original post by PonchoKid)
    I always pannic and cry just hope it goes smoothly

    Not doing brilliantly but i guess im doing better...

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    Well compared to other posts I thought you sounded better

    And let us know how it goes!
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    Just had something really nice happen. I was sleeping on the train to work this morning (it's about 80 minute journey because I don't live at uni anymore so it's not too short) and some woman just tapped me on the shoulder to wake me up when we got to the station
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    (Original post by 08batee)
    Thanks hun :hugs: The same goes for you, too :hugs:
    I'm so glad that you're making some progress and you got good grades! That's amazing and you should take strength and confidence from it. I'm so pleased for you, I really am. You are a lovely person and deserve only the best from life :yes:
    Thank you! It means a lot :hugs:
    I have gained a lot of confidence from it because I worked so hard for the whole year and to get the best possible grades and everything was really satisfying. Thank you hun! I'm proud of you in that you're still fighting and you may not think so, but I believe you're such an inspiration I try and be lovely but if anything it's people like you who make me seem lovely because of how lovely you are, it's a mirror effect :hugs:
 
 
 
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