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Mental Health Support Society XVI watch

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    (Original post by Odd socks)
    :hugs: thanks I don't deserve it though


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    What have I told you peeps about arguing with TLG? :fuhrer:



    Of course you deserve our love, otherwise I wouldn't say it, would I? :hugs:
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    How do you know someone has depression? Like, how can you be 100% sure?
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    (Original post by davvv)
    Most of the time I feel as if I'm mentally stable and somewhat happy, but I'm so susceptible to these moments where my thoughts turn really cloudy and dark, and there's nothing I can do but wait it out. For instance after most of the exams I've had that haven't gone as planned, I've thought about every question I didn't answer or answer properly, thought about how much it's gonna bring down my grade and push me further from my dream Uni. I need AAB and sometimes it feels like I'll be lucky to get BBC. Then I start to wonder why I even bothered being ambitious in the first place, then I start to conclude that I'm actually pretty stupid and useless, that I should have done more but I spent too much time fooling around, other people have done well so why can't I, etc. Long story short my thoughts spiral with such unrelenting force it seems very difficult for my positive self to get a word in edgeways. Luckily I'm too much of a pussy to go through and act on the suicidal thoughts that I have during these periods but I don't know if it'll always be this way. This habit I feel is seriously impacting my ability to live a high-quality life and achieve what I want, as deep down I don't have a lot of self-belief as it keeps getting shattered.
    Sorry if that was convoluted as hell I seriously never vent I don't know how
    Not sure I've seen you around before (apologies if I have - memory of a goldfish!), so :hi: and welcome to MHSS!

    Though sorry to hear you are suffering so much. Do you have any kinda diagnosis? It sounds like you could benefit from cognitive behavioural therapy - is that something you could bring up with your doctor?

    Btw, some excellent unis out there accept BBC, so even if that *is* what you get, it ain't over! :nah:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    What have I told you peeps about arguing with TLG? :fuhrer:



    Of course you deserve our love, otherwise I wouldn't say it, would I? :hugs:
    Sorry

    ---

    I want to watch this show but everything is upsetting me just now. I don't want to spoil it for anybody so mild OITNB spoilers in the tag:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Theres a flashback scene to when a character was a kid and her mum is forcing her to wear a dress because she says she's not girly enough, and the kid is upset about having to be unhappy and force herself to be someone she isn't because it's what her mum wants and it's too close to home my mum can't accept that i'm not girly enough for her i don't even think im a girl, not a lot of the time anyway
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Not sure I've seen you around before (apologies if I have - memory of a goldfish!), so :hi: and welcome to MHSS!

    Though sorry to hear you are suffering so much. Do you have any kinda diagnosis? It sounds like you could benefit from cognitive behavioural therapy - is that something you could bring up with your doctor?

    Btw, some excellent unis out there accept BBC, so even if that *is* what you get, it ain't over! :nah:
    Nah, I'm new haha!

    I tried to go to a doctor about 18 months ago before I started my A-Levels. I just became disenchanted with the whole thing to be honest. I had to wait about a month just for help to even be arranged, even then it was over the phone and I felt like the woman who was talking to me over the phone was trying to lecture me a bit on how I should be feeling. She didn't seem to get that I knew my negative thoughts made no sense but they still persisted. I feel like that might have as much to do with my inability to express this to her at the time but it wasn't a good experience, and with the way the NHS and just about every service in the UK has gone to the dogs, I'll either be drowned in pills or just not get the attention I need. I feel like I can and should deal with this holistically.

    Coventry is my insurance and they want BBB, I'm sure I'll get in with BBC but it's not the dream haha. I'm sure I'll still love it in Coventry but I just want to get into Sheffield so much.
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    (Original post by davvv)
    Nah, I'm new haha!

    I tried to go to a doctor about 18 months ago before I started my A-Levels. I just became disenchanted with the whole thing to be honest. I had to wait about a month just for help to even be arranged, even then it was over the phone and I felt like the woman who was talking to me over the phone was trying to lecture me a bit on how I should be feeling. She didn't seem to get that I knew my negative thoughts made no sense but they still persisted. I feel like that might have as much to do with my inability to express this to her at the time but it wasn't a good experience, and with the way the NHS and just about every service in the UK has gone to the dogs, I'll either be drowned in pills or just not get the attention I need. I feel like I can and should deal with this holistically.

    Coventry is my insurance and they want BBB, I'm sure I'll get in with BBC but it's not the dream haha. I'm sure I'll still love it in Coventry but I just want to get into Sheffield so much.
    Sadly it's very easy to become disenchanted with the NHS :sadnod: Though the fact that it is **** is kinda all the more reason to re-engage with it, so that should you ever have a major meltdown or anything *touches wood* , you're already in the system.

    Have you looked at a website called MoodGym? It's kinda like online CBT that you do at your own pace. It's no substitute for therapist-led help, but if you're dead set against meds (which I can kinda understand, but sometimes meds can be a lifesaver and you should seriously consider them if they might offer some respite. Though I think you might benefit more from therapy, but I'm no doctor), then it can be a way forward towards understanding your thoughts and where they come from and why :yes:
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    (Original post by Odd socks)
    Sorry

    ---

    I want to watch this show but everything is upsetting me just now. I don't want to spoil it for anybody so mild OITNB spoilers in the tag:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Theres a flashback scene to when a character was a kid and her mum is forcing her to wear a dress because she says she's not girly enough, and the kid is upset about having to be unhappy and force herself to be someone she isn't because it's what her mum wants and it's too close to home my mum can't accept that i'm not girly enough for her i don't even think im a girl, not a lot of the time anyway
    Spoiler:
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    Can see how that scene would be very upsetting for you Huge hugs from London! It can be very hard for parents to accept things like transgender children or gender fluidity but that doesn't mean it's wrong or that there's something wrong with you! Some people are just a bit stuck-in-the-mud with their views, sadly. But please know that you can't live your life trying to please your mum and you shouldn't have to conform to her narrow worldview. If you don't feel like a girl a lot of the time/at all, then you shouldn't have to pigeonhole yourself into being one :nah:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
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    Can see how that scene would be very upsetting for you Huge hugs from London! It can be very hard for parents to accept things like transgender children or gender fluidity but that doesn't mean it's wrong or that there's something wrong with you! Some people are just a bit stuck-in-the-mud with their views, sadly. But please know that you can't live your life trying to please your mum and you shouldn't have to conform to her narrow worldview. If you don't feel like a girl a lot of the time/at all, then you shouldn't have to pigeonhole yourself into being one :nah:
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    my mum can't even accept me being bi, let alone me not being a girl :no: thanks for the hugs :hugs: I've been feeling really dysphoric lately but I couldn't even go on T because there's so many hoops to jump through and my mum would notice even the smallest changes, she's so hyper vigilant :sadnod: thanks for caring :lovehug:



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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Sadly it's very easy to become disenchanted with the NHS :sadnod: Though the fact that it is **** is kinda all the more reason to re-engage with it, so that should you ever have a major meltdown or anything *touches wood* , you're already in the system.

    Have you looked at a website called MoodGym? It's kinda like online CBT that you do at your own pace. It's no substitute for therapist-led help, but if you're dead set against meds (which I can kinda understand, but sometimes meds can be a lifesaver and you should seriously consider them if they might offer some respite. Though I think you might benefit more from therapy, but I'm no doctor), then it can be a way forward towards understanding your thoughts and where they come from and why :yes:
    But what will they do even if that does happen? I don't feel like I've even come close to a "meltdown" before but someone I know is currently quite seriously ill with schizophrenia. People just don't give a damn.

    That's the key really, I think this MoodGym could potentially help, I can go through it at my own pace and access it as and when I need it, I don't trust confiding in people, even people who are paid to be confided in, as a solution. I'm a bit disengaged with others on an emotional level.
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    (Original post by Odd socks)
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    my mum can't even accept me being bi, let alone me not being a girl :no: thanks for the hugs :hugs: I've been feeling really dysphoric lately but I couldn't even go on T because there's so many hoops to jump through and my mum would notice even the smallest changes, she's so hyper vigilant :sadnod: thanks for caring :lovehug:


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    So sorry you've been feeling so dysphoric - that must be confusing :console: Tbh, perhaps I shouldn't say this, but your mum doesn't sound like the best mum she could possibly be. She seems to disapprove of so many things about you and not be supportive. Whereas even if she can't help disapproving, she should at least be trying to accept you as you are because you are her child (regardless of gender identity) and she should be loving you unconditionally :yes:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
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    So sorry you've been feeling so dysphoric - that must be confusing :console: Tbh, perhaps I shouldn't say this, but your mum doesn't sound like the best mum she could possibly be. She seems to disapprove of so many things about you and not be supportive. Whereas even if she can't help disapproving, she should at least be trying to accept you as you are because you are her child (regardless of gender identity) and she should be loving you unconditionally :yes:
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    its worse when I'm overweight cause my boobs are bigger.. if I lose weight that means a flatter chest so that's my goal just now. I keep seeing pictures of guys with flat chests and they can walk around with no shirt and that's okay but it's not okay for me I just want to be like the pictures.

    I dunno. she tries, I wasn't the easiest kid and she had me young, probably didn't even want me but there would have been family pressure to keep the baby. I effectively ruined her life, she was 19 she could have been somebody, went to college, became a florist or a cake decorator like she wanted to but instead she was stuck with me.. So I feel like I can't grudge her her attitude because I ruined her life so I kind of deserve it.



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    (Original post by davvv)
    But what will they do even if that does happen? I don't feel like I've even come close to a "meltdown" before but someone I know is currently quite seriously ill with schizophrenia... People just don't give a damn.

    That's the key really, I think this MoodGym could potentially help, I can go through it at my own pace and access it as and when I need it, I don't trust confiding in people, even people who are paid to be confided in, as a solution. I'm a bit disengaged with others on an emotional level.
    Well I would hope that people care - I think it's just the system is overstretched and unfortunately mental health care provision is a postcode lottery :sadnod: Though at least if you're in the system already you have a better/quicker shot at getting a proper mental health care team.

    But it's fair enough, if you disengage with others emotionally, maybe MoodGym might suit you better :yes: Do look into it! It can be a bit depressing, having your thought processes laid out bare the way MoodGym does it, but it's an important step towards recovery :yes:
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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    Seeing Garek in Star Trek talk himself down from a panic attack in the ep 'By Infernos Light' was inspiring. You know panic attacks are hellish when they can even break down a strong willed Cardassian!
    "Control yourself, you're stronger than this"

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    Oh man Garak is one of my favourite characters of all time from anything.

    You might've just made me rewatch DS9. Again.
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    So is this meant to be a chat soc or somewhere where people ask for help on mental illnesses? :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Odd socks)
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    its worse when I'm overweight cause my boobs are bigger.. if I lose weighthttp://cdncache-a.akamaihd.net/items...rrow-10x10.png that means a flatter chest so that's my goal just now. I keep seeing pictures of guys with flat chests and they can walk around with no shirt and that's okay but it's not okay for me I just want to be like the pictures.

    I dunno. she tries, I wasn't the easiest kid and she had me young, probably didn't even want me but there would have been family pressure to keep the baby. I effectively ruined her life, she was 19 she could have been somebody, went to college, became a florist or a cake decorator like she wanted to but instead she was stuck with me.. So I feel like I can't grudge her her attitude because I ruined her life so I kind of deserve it.


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    You didn't ruin her life hun - you never asked to be conceived or to be born! Your mum made a decision for whatever reason, and surely a mother would love her own child?! :dontknow: Don't blame yourself for the way your mum's life has turned out. Your mum could have still become a florist or a cake decorator if she had really wanted to! So you haven't ruined her life - don't let yourself or her blame you for anything :nah:

    Big hugs! I don't know much about transgender issues and I am a bit wary of saying 'PM me' because I fear I might accidentally say the wrong thing through ignorance about what it's like to be transgender. Regardless of my worries though: if PMing would help, you can PM me and I will listen, even if I can't advise!


    Going to bed soon, so I will say goodnight, peeps :grouphugs: xxx
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    (Original post by mmmmmmmmmmmmm)
    So is this meant to be a chat soc or somewhere where people ask for help on mental illnesses? :rolleyes:
    bit of both really
    a safe haven if you wanted to discuss mental health issues
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    (Original post by mmmmmmmmmmmmm)
    So is this meant to be a chat soc or somewhere where people ask for help on mental illnesses? :rolleyes:
    It's both! Sorry, I meant to get round to your post but got distracted. Patience is a virtue, though

    I guess you can't 100% tell that someone has depression, the way you can tell that someone 100% has cancer or gall bladder stones or diabetes. But if it talks like a duck and acts like a duck, one can probably safely assume that it's a duck! So if someone exhibits enough symptoms and is deemed to be suffering from depression by a qualified, knowledgeable doctor, I'd say it's safe to assume they are depressed :yes:
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    It's both! Sorry, I meant to get round to your post but got distracted. Patience is a virtue, though

    I guess you can't 100% tell that someone has depression, the way you can tell that someone 100% has cancer or gall bladder stones or diabetes. But if it talks like a duck and acts like a duck, one can probably safely assume that it's a duck! So if someone exhibits enough symptoms and is deemed to be suffering from depression by a qualified, knowledgeable doctor, I'd say it's safe to assume they are depressed :yes:
    Ah, thanks for the help. How would you get someone diagnosed if they refuse to go to the gp?
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
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    You didn't ruin her life hun - you never asked to be conceived or to be born! Your mum made a decision for whatever reason, and surely a mother would love her own child?! :dontknow: Don't blame yourself for the way your mum's life has turned out. Your mum could have still become a florist or a cake decorator if she had really wanted to! So you haven't ruined her life - don't let yourself or her blame you for anything :nah:

    Big hugs! I don't know much about transgender issues and I am a bit wary of saying 'PM me' because I fear I might accidentally say the wrong thing through ignorance about what it's like to be transgender. Regardless of my worries though: if PMing would help, you can PM me and I will listen, even if I can't advise!


    Going to bed soon, so I will say goodnight, peeps :grouphugs: xxx
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    :hugs: thank you, I try to tell myself that but on nights when I'm feeling vulnerable it gets me to :sadnod:

    Part of me worries that I'm just deluding myself, that I'm not really and I'm just fooling myself to make myself more interesting and I dunno, I guess I'm just not sure of anything these days. Thanks for the offer but I don't want to bother you :nah:


    goodnight :lovehug:

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    (Original post by plasmaman)
    bit of both really
    a safe haven if you wanted to discuss mental health issues
    I don't mind chatting but no one was really answering my q's, but lonely goatherd has now
 
 
 
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