is anyone waiting on references?

I am so impatient lol! I requested references on Monday and because I'm quite late on in the application process want to get on and get the application in. But I'm still waiting. One I have had to delete and re-do with a new e-mail address as the school didn't forward it to the person so she asked me to put her personal home e-mail. Thought she might be on it as she indicated she would do it Saturday but haven't heard.
Just so impatient and feel quite stressed about the whole thing as it is completely out of my control! Maybe I am a control freak?

MY other referee asked me lots of questions about what I was applying for and if there was anything I wanted her to specifically comment on. She seemed keen to help me and get it done. That was on Monday and I still haven't heard anything.

How does it work? Do both references show on the application without any kind of acknowledgement until both are done? Do I get the e-mail notification when both are done? or should I get notified when one is done?
I have e-mailed them both again on the Thursday saying did they need any more information before submitting but got an automated response from one saying on leave! The other contacted me to say school hadn't forwarded the e-mail so could I resend to her address - so have had to delete original request and re-send!

How complicated is the reference system?
For example one of my references had gone to UCAS website to do my reference but hadn't been sent the e-mail from school with log-in details (hence why I sent again) but she hadn't realised that was what she was supposed to be doing.
I can see from the instructions they have to tick that they will be our reference, then they have to confirm they agree with the details in our application and then they have to do the reference and then they have to submit it - or along those lines. Is it obvious what they have to do and how to submit? I don't want to ask again if they are on it and trying to fit it into their busy lives but I don't want them thinking they've done it when actually they've forgotten to click a button or something!!

(Like when I did my references I thought by clicking 'send' it would send the references - I had missed the bit on the references page I was supposed to click on to submit the references first!)

Not only do I not want to miss out on a chance for a place on the course but I have booked the skills test so will need to cancel if I have not submitted my application! am I just being too much of a stress-head?