Advice for students planning to stay at home from a stay at home student

Making the decision to go to university but to stay at home is a big decision and at times you may feel like you made the wrong decision. I opted in to stay at home for a number of reasons and I'm sure if you're thinking about it then you also must have a few yourself! Mine were the following -

1. I enjoyed my current life. I wasn't one of these students who desperately wanted to get away from home to seek independence as I already lived a very independent life.

2. My mum is disabled and sometimes needs assistance.

3. My nan's health has been declining for the past few years and want to spend more time with her.

4. I was in a relationship at the time.

5. I had a great group of friends at home that I enjoyed spending my time with.

I've noticed some amazing benefits of not moving out, which is something many threads here tend to forget to put when discussing the option of staying at home! Now university really is what you make of it. I was extremely worried that not moving away would take away from the experience but it hasn't as much as many of you would think. I made great friends at university and we spent a lot of time with each other, I was always staying in their halls if we wanted to go out on a night or just simply for a movie night! The greatest part was when they were tired, hungover and had the mess of predrinks to clean up, I could hop on a bus and return to the comfort of my own home! I ended up spending about half of my week in halls and then half of it at home but still kept in contact with the people from university and would do the odd trip to do some shopping or go to cinema or out for a meal.

A huge benefit is the lack of bad flatmates. Now I know many people who love their flatmates and can't believe they've survived life this far without them but I also know people who would do anything to be away from their flatmates and wish they had chosen another option. You are completely removed from this situation, you don't have to worry who you are forced to live your life with as the people you surround yourself with is now completely your choice.

As I decided to still take out the full loan, I have more money than those staying at halls, although I don't receive the extra £1,000 (roughly) for moving out I do receive the rest of the grant and loan. With the money I was receiving I saved some of it and put it towards my first car.

I've just finished my first year and throughout it I had the odd thought about possibly moving with the friends I had made, hell if they were all living together as one big group I would have probably gone for it but I'm enjoying what I have going at the moment.

Anyway, my advice is don't write yourself off because you've made the choice to stay at home. If you purposely remove yourself from social situations then you're not going to be social at university! Just be who you are and like minded people will be around you soon enough and they will want to spend time with you whether you're onsite or off.

This isn't to say moving away is a bad idea because I would have probably chosen to if I didn't have responsibilities at home but it's not as bad as anyone here I've seen make it out to be, it's actually really fun and judging from what I've seen and heard in my time so far, I feel like I've actually enjoyed university more than a lot of those who have chosen to move out! :biggrin:

Anyway, good luck to all those starting in September and don't worry about it, you will have a blast!

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 1

pinejuice

im in a similar situation. my mum is disabled and my sister is autistic. i help out with chores and do the majority of heavily physical stuff in the house like cleaning and diy. ive decided to live in student accomodation and visit home weekly. i'll only be 1 hour away. i have mixed feelings. ive always lived at home, im very close to my family but as a result of being a full time carer my social life is pretty much dead. i dont have time to be social and have fun. i want to move out so i can meet more people, get a degree in engineering and experience life. my family does drive me mad sometimes too so thats another reason to move out- just to keep sane! ive been told by other stay at home students that you do miss out on the social side but its cheaper, you study better and you have your family.

Reply 2

Ben_JM

Original post by pinejuice

You'll have a great time in halls and it sounds like you could do with breaking away a bit and doing a little self discovery and luckily university is a great time to do it! :biggrin:

Reply 3

dina95

Staying at home because my uni is 20 mins drive from my house. Because it will save me a load of money.

Reply 4

CaitlinIona

I will be starting university in September and am planning on staying at home and commuting. A lot of things on your list apply to me also so it has been really useful and reassuring to see your post as I was slightly worried about being a bit of an outsider, but I fully intend to make an effort to make friends so hopefully will get to stay with them like you did after nights out! Thank you!

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Reply 5

Mansun

Original post by dina95

Staying at home because my uni is 20 mins drive from my house. Because it will save me a load of money.

In this situation it might have been a good idea to stay in halls for just 1 year to get the experience, it only comes once. But postgraduate studies might give that too.