the point to studying textbooks when not a Prof

What are you specifically asking for? Job advice or realtionship advice, sorry for not understanding it isn't very clear to me.

Have you thought about possibly getting invloved in maths tutoring as a job? It would depend on how you feel on teaching others though.

Just advice on whether I should study my textbooks really and how this would impact on jobs and relationships.

I am a 22 year old uni maths dropout. I started the degree at 18 and was only taken to a psychiatrist at 20 when things became really awful. I have diagnoses including asperger's now.

I am currently volunteering and applying for simple jobs. I live with my parents and am hoping I can save up to move out at some point.

I have over 200 maths textbooks at undergraduate level and above. I can't focus to read them so I copy them. I want to copy them all and do all the exercises in them and have figured out how many years this would take me alongside other activities like work, guitar and reading novels. My mum said this is pointless last Saturday and it got me feeling bad and thinking about the pointlessness of lots of things. She suggested watching a film or tv would make me easier to talk to but I don't have the concentration for that and it doesn't interest me. I think she thinks it's pointless because she can't understand the enjoyment.

I don't have a future in music or maths or literature so it's just for enjoyment. Perhaps I will return to a maths degree later in life but it doesn't feel possible right now.

I want to marry though and don't want to get to 50 going to my simple job or having no job then copying textbooks in my room with no friends or partner. Perhaps drawing or woodwork classes would be a more relatable activity

She said copying your books and doing the exercises is pointless and then suggested watching TV? Yeah, someone's a bit silly.

Just do it. You enjoy it, it's going to teach you something maybe, and it's not hurting anyone. So what if it's odd? I think it's quite cool, and though I don't know mathematics very well I acknowledge it as the purest art.

Do you have a copy of Hardy's A Course of Pure Mathematics?

Thanks!

I actually made a meme and emailed it to my brother and sister. It had a photot of my mum and the top line was "everything you like is pointless" and the bottom line was "so come and watch downtown abbey "

I don't have a copy of that book but I think its contents are covered by my other books. I do have Hardy's introduction to the theory of numbers and Hardy's divergent series.