Why can't i just be single and happyyyyy Watch

SoftGingerCat
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#1
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I swear to god there must be something wrong with me. The minute my boyfriend dumped me I was so happy to be single for like two days. Then I started missing him and suddenly I'm seeing love everywhere I go. Guy friend messaged me with no prompt? He must like me. Co-worker and I talked about **** and messed about? Marriage.
Why can't I just be single and happy? When people talk about strong, independent woman I really don't think those women feel the need to love and be loved as strongly as I do.
but yeah. rant over
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Professional G
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Don’t worry. It’s tough recovering from a break up especially if it’s sudden. Just take a break from dating for a while and focus on yourself. Take a spa day, hang with friends, go shopping, spend time with family. Just distract your self from everlasting void.
Sometimes you need time to yourself to rediscover what you are without him.
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SoftGingerCat
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(Original post by Professional G)
Don’t worry. It’s tough recovering from a break up especially if it’s sudden. Just take a break from dating for a while and focus on yourself. Take a spa day, hang with friends, go shopping, spend time with family. Just distract your self from everlasting void.
Sometimes you need time to yourself to rediscover what you are without him.
Your probably right. I mean I was with the dude for two years so its gonna take longer then usual to find myself again.
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Themysticalegg
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Yep when I got dumped I was happy for about a week then reality set in and I sunk into myself. (Never do this, reach out to people.) It was really nice when I eventually recovered after 8 long months of misery. Sometimes I still think of her from time to time, but it's ok I've moved on. Just takes time, you'll be ok one day I believe in you! It's honestly ok not to be ok for a while, a breakup is always harsh it feels like your souls been destroyed, but bit by bit it will be repaired and you'll find someone else. Then eventually you can laugh at the good times you had and the reasons why you would never of worked. Then you move on.
Last edited by Themysticalegg; 1 week ago
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SoftGingerCat
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(Original post by Themysticalegg)
Yep when I got dumped I was happy for about a week then reality set in and I sunk into myself. (Never do this, reach out to people.) It was really nice when I eventually recovered after 8 long months of misery. Sometimes I still think of her from time to time, but it's ok I've moved on. Just takes time, you'll be ok one day I believe in you! It's honestly ok not to be ok for a while, a breakup is always harsh it feels like your souls been destroyed, but bit by bit it will be repaired and you'll find someone else. Then eventually you can laugh at the good times you had and the reasons why you would never of worked. Then you move on.
Thanks thats actually reassuring. Although 8 months of misery doesn't exactly sound reassuring, it's nice to know no matter how long it takes I'll get better eventually. Thanks for believing in me, my confidence is kinda torn to shreds and needs to go the repair shop right now.
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Professional G
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(Original post by SoftGingerCat)
Your probably right. I mean I was with the dude for two years so its gonna take longer then usual to find myself again.
You’re welcome. Two years is a long time. You need time to adjust being single again. Take as long as you need. It’s fine feeling lonely and missing him but he and you are over and it’s time to move on.
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SoftGingerCat
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(Original post by Professional G)
You’re welcome. Two years is a long time. You need time to adjust being single again. Take as long as you need. It’s fine feeling lonely and missing him but he and you are over and it’s time to move on.
True - moving on, or at least pretending to, is the only thing I can really do right now.
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Professional G
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(Original post by SoftGingerCat)
True - moving on, or at least pretending to, is the only thing I can really do right now.
No worries. I hope you recover and be able to find someone soon
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SoftGingerCat
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(Original post by Professional G)
No worries. I hope you recover and be able to find someone soon
me too, I dont want that boy knowing he's that important to me
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Themysticalegg
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(Original post by SoftGingerCat)
Thanks thats actually reassuring. Although 8 months of misery doesn't exactly sound reassuring, it's nice to know no matter how long it takes I'll get better eventually. Thanks for believing in me, my confidence is kinda torn to shreds and needs to go the repair shop right now.
The thing which kept me going was my job which was a really good distraction. If it wasn't for the distraction I would of just slept in bed all day. (Distractions are really good) I lived alone at that point and the break up hurt so much and I became distant with my friends as a result. (I explained myself later on and kept my friends but always reach out when you need it, that's my downfall I tried to go through everything on my own.) For me I went first week WOOOO, then next few months oh god. (Slowly getting better) Then subtle things would remind me of an event I had with my ex and made me either sad/nostalgic. However, the key point to take away from this is recover at your own pace (Everyone is different) but bit by bit a bit more of yourself is repaired. Then eventually you can go back and find another person to love and cherish!
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SoftGingerCat
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(Original post by Themysticalegg)
The thing which kept me going was my job which was a really good distraction. If it wasn't for the distraction I would of just slept in bed all day. (Distractions are really good) I lived alone at that point and the break up hurt so much and I became distant with my friends as a result. (I explained myself later on and kept my friends but always reach out when you need it, that's my downfall I tried to go through everything on my own.) For me I went first week WOOOO, then next few months oh god. (Slowly getting better) Then subtle things would remind me of an event I had with my ex and made me either sad/nostalgic. However, the key point to take away from this is recover at your own pace (Everyone is different) but bit by bit a bit more of yourself is repaired. Then eventually you can go back and find another person to love and cherish!
I did recently just got a job and I really love it so hopefully that can be my distraction too? At the moment I can only really concentrate there as whenever I try to get school work done at home all I can think about is him. However at work it's just different. I would love to talk to my friends but tbh, one group have decided to choose his side (although there are no sides, it was kind of mutual break up and he just happened to beat me to the punch because although we both loved each other the relationship was wearing us both out) and saying the nicest things about me. This included my best friend of three years who has decided she prefers her boyfriend's opinion over her own (I say that because he hates me and she absolutely adores him. The only reason I tolerate him is because he does treat her like a princess which is way better then all her previous boyfriends even if he is a **** to everyone else). My other group is great but there is a bit of tension between a few of the people in it and I don't want to bother them with my problems.

But hey! I have my cat and my family so hopefully your right and I will just recover at my own pace. Once that is done I know I will be owning the dating scene, I just got to wait until I'm better. thanks for everything
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Professional G
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(Original post by SoftGingerCat)
I did recently just got a job and I really love it so hopefully that can be my distraction too? At the moment I can only really concentrate there as whenever I try to get school work done at home all I can think about is him. However at work it's just different. I would love to talk to my friends but tbh, one group have decided to choose his side (although there are no sides, it was kind of mutual break up and he just happened to beat me to the punch because although we both loved each other the relationship was wearing us both out) and saying the nicest things about me. This included my best friend of three years who has decided she prefers her boyfriend's opinion over her own (I say that because he hates me and she absolutely adores him. The only reason I tolerate him is because he does treat her like a princess which is way better then all her previous boyfriends even if he is a **** to everyone else). My other group is great but there is a bit of tension between a few of the people in it and I don't want to bother them with my problems.

But hey! I have my cat and my family so hopefully your right and I will just recover at my own pace. Once that is done I know I will be owning the dating scene, I just got to wait until I'm better. thanks for everything
Your job could be very useful at keeping you distracted.
Perhaps, a library would be more suitable and less of a distraction.
I hope after this, you may find someone who cares about you and wishes to keep you safe.
You might even find someone better than your last boyfriend
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Themysticalegg
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(Original post by SoftGingerCat)
I did recently just got a job and I really love it so hopefully that can be my distraction too? At the moment I can only really concentrate there as whenever I try to get school work done at home all I can think about is him. However at work it's just different. I would love to talk to my friends but tbh, one group have decided to choose his side (although there are no sides, it was kind of mutual break up and he just happened to beat me to the punch because although we both loved each other the relationship was wearing us both out) and saying the nicest things about me. This included my best friend of three years who has decided she prefers her boyfriend's opinion over her own (I say that because he hates me and she absolutely adores him. The only reason I tolerate him is because he does treat her like a princess which is way better then all her previous boyfriends even if he is a **** to everyone else). My other group is great but there is a bit of tension between a few of the people in it and I don't want to bother them with my problems.

But hey! I have my cat and my family so hopefully your right and I will just recover at my own pace. Once that is done I know I will be owning the dating scene, I just got to wait until I'm better. thanks for everything
Congratulations! A job is a great distraction I had to be on the ball because I didn't want to be shouted at, so it was the best distraction for me ever, gave me a mission. Yeahh I broke up mutually because of the same reason, was not going to work so it was better off that way in the long run. It's unfortunate your friends picked sides though. Well when the time comes you can always reach out to the other group!

Omg I'm so jealous I have no pet, cats make everything better so fluffy! Keep the positivity up you will move on at some point!
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SoftGingerCat
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(Original post by Professional G)
Your job could be very useful at keeping you distracted.
Perhaps, a library would be more suitable and less of a distraction.
I hope after this, you may find someone who cares about you and wishes to keep you safe.
You might even find someone better than your last boyfriend
We can only hope! I have written such a long list of requirements that a guy now has to have in order to date me that I definitely know that the next guy will be much better !
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SoftGingerCat
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(Original post by Themysticalegg)
Congratulations! A job is a great distraction I had to be on the ball because I didn't want to be shouted at, so it was the best distraction for me ever, gave me a mission. Yeahh I broke up mutually because of the same reason, was not going to work so it was better off that way in the long run. It's unfortunate your friends picked sides though. Well when the time comes you can always reach out to the other group!

Omg I'm so jealous I have no pet, cats make everything better so fluffy! Keep the positivity up you will move on at some point!
Yeah i will and my cat is definitely better then any guy to be honest, I'll try to keep up the positivity!
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Themysticalegg
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(Original post by SoftGingerCat)
Yeah i will and my cat is definitely better then any guy to be honest, I'll try to keep up the positivity!
Cats are the best I'm waiting till I rent a house which accepts those fwuffy kittens.
(Original post by SoftGingerCat)
We can only hope! I have written such a long list of requirements that a guy now has to have in order to date me that I definitely know that the next guy will be much better !
That's one benefit of a breakup you know what you do and don't want.
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Professional G
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(Original post by SoftGingerCat)
We can only hope! I have written such a long list of requirements that a guy now has to have in order to date me that I definitely know that the next guy will be much better !
Oh wow, guys better watch out now. You have a list of requirements for them to meet
I’m sure it will be much easier to find that special one now
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SoftGingerCat
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(Original post by Themysticalegg)
Cats are the best I'm waiting till I rent a house which accepts those fwuffy kittens.

That's one benefit of a breakup you know what you do and don't want.
(Original post by Professional G)
Oh wow, guys better watch out now. You have a list of requirements for them to meet
I’m sure it will be much easier to find that special one now
Yup maybe breaking up with him was for the best! thanks for everything your comments really helped me get through this
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Professional G
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(Original post by SoftGingerCat)
Yup maybe breaking up with him was for the best! thanks for everything your comments really helped me get through this
You’re welcome, hope you are in a better place now
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ibyghee
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Making something else more important in your life rather than finding love should work, maybe like a really big passion you have.
But for this to happen you have to stick with your passion.
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