Advice NEEDED

had this sort of thing before. give her this "space" or it all goes even more badly wrong :smile:

Reply 4

OP

technik

had this sort of thing before. give her this "space" or it all goes even more badly wrong :smile:

How do I do that without:

A - Becoming a mate
B - Looking uninterested
C - Her ending up going with someone else
D - Staying attractive to her (obviously a mopping guy isn't attractive)

Reply 5

Jow

RyanW

Hey,

My girlfriend and I have just split up because we've been arguing. However, I want her back and she just keeps saying she needs time and space and that maybe in the future we'll get back together. I want to speed the getting back together bit up - how can I do it?

Consider the lilly!

Reply 6

OP

Jow

Consider the lilly!

What?

Reply 7

RyanW

What?

flowers?

Reply 8

OP

technik

flowers?

But if I do that she's going to think I'm not respecting her wish to have space/time and be friends for just now. Any ideas?

Reply 9

frost105

14

Its a bit of a no win situation.

If you dont give her space then she will be upset.

If you do give her space she may find someone else.

If i were you i'd say flat out that you understand that she needs some space but that you want to get back together so you are going to let her contact you when she wants even if its as mates or to go on a date etc.

There is a chance that she has no intention to get back together and there isnt a lot youcan do about that.

How long have you been going out?

Reply 10

F. Poste

RyanW

How do I do that without:

A - Becoming a mate
B - Looking uninterested
C - Her ending up going with someone else
D - Staying attractive to her (obviously a mopping guy isn't attractive)

B is easy - Talk to her ONCE and once only saying that you want to be with her but are willing to give her time and space to think and work out what she wants. Let her know that she's in the driving seat and that you're going to give her space the best you can, and that lack of contact doesn't mean you're uninterested. Make sure

If you give her this space then A isn't a problem as you won't be changing your relationship by doing nothing.

C is a possibility you're going to have to live with- she has the right to change her mind after all, there's nothing you can do to stop her if that's what she wants.

And as for D, if you give her the space she wants you'll be ever more the attractive, I promise! Hate to drag out cliches but you don't know what you've got until it's gone :smile:

Reply 11

RyanW

But if I do that she's going to think I'm not respecting her wish to have space/time and be friends for just now. Any ideas?

just be friends...speak to her when u see her. give her the odd text message or email.

dont be pushy, but by still being in contact u can avoid the uninterested bit

honestly, i've made this mistake in the past by not doing as asked, not out of stupidity but cos i had lots of feelings for the person. it doesnt turn out brilliantly and im still annoyed at myself every day for it...

Reply 12

F. Poste

technik

just be friends...speak to her when u see her. give her the odd text message or email.

dont be pushy, but by still being in contact u can avoid the uninterested bit

honestly, i've made this mistake in the past by not doing as asked, not out of stupidity but cos i had lots of feelings for the person. it doesnt turn out brilliantly and im still annoyed at myself every day for it...

This is sound advice.. I've been in the girl's place before and believe me, when you ask for space and don't get it it's so infuriating and suffocating and kills any warm feelings and makes you bitter :frown:

Reply 13

OP

We've been together 2 years.

Thanks for the GREAT advice guys I really appreciate it. Kind of messed up just now/down. Any other tips?

Reply 14

frost105

14

I dont want to sound negative but being a girl and having used the 'i need space' one when breaking up its best to try and get past this relationship and not focus too much onto it. you've been together a while and maybe a break apart would be good for you.

Reply 15

Geogger

Send her some flowers (nothing soppy like roses!) with a little note underlining that you still want to keep in touch, but you are happy to give her the space to think things through, and then leave it for at least a few days before say a casual text message - friendly but not clingy! You won't lose face if it doesn't work out and it'll be nice if you do get back together!

Reply 16

F. Poste

This is sound advice.. I've been in the girl's place before and believe me, when you ask for space and don't get it it's so infuriating and suffocating and kills any warm feelings and makes you bitter :frown:

tis true...

the pain :frown:

Reply 17

F. Poste

RyanW

We've been together 2 years.

Thanks for the GREAT advice guys I really appreciate it. Kind of messed up just now/down. Any other tips?

Keep yourself occupied- do something fun, watch movies, do some work, anything that'll take your mind off it. If you've been arguing then space might do you good too.

Just give her what she wants and everything should be fine. When she does talk to you, make sure you listen carefully. Let her approach you and set the level of contact :smile:

Reply 18