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Advice - Not liking uni so far
Today I'm feeling really homesick, and I've only been here since Saturday but I really don't think I can hack three years of being in this environment. It's just so much bigger than what I'm used to and it's making me really miss home. I am obviously going to give it a go, wait and see what my course is like first and see what the general university atmosphere is like after freshers week, but honestly I'm not too sure sure I'm going to last a month here.
Has anyone been feeling/felt like this and had any advice to offer.
Has anyone been feeling/felt like this and had any advice to offer.
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The thing is there isn't a lot of stuff that really appeals to me about freshers week, basically every night all there is to do is go to the student union and drink and I don't drink an awful lot and I feel awkward just sitting there while everyone else is (I've tried it before) and there really isn't a lot to do during the days to keep my mind off it.
Don't worry about it too much - try to stick it out for as long as you can. It WILL get better. Maybe start drinking later in the evening so you don't get too bored or drink really REALLY slowly so you always have a drink in your hand to give you a bit of confidence. When the societies start, join everything that you find interesting. You'll meet people in no time, so that soon when you're walking to lectures you'll have loads of people to say hi to and the whole place will seem much smaller.
Also, get a map of your campus / city. Once you know where you're going it's so much easier.
Also, get a map of your campus / city. Once you know where you're going it's so much easier.
It's not a matter of not meeting people, I'm not really a loner or anything and I know my way around where I am, it's the university experience that I'm not sure I'm going to enjoy and in truth I'm not sure what career plan I want to go into after uni so I am starting to think perhaps it would be wise to have a think about where I want to go in life first.
I know people say it gets better and I'm sure it will, it's just that I'm starting to feel that university isn't for me.
I know people say it gets better and I'm sure it will, it's just that I'm starting to feel that university isn't for me.
Hi David.
A lot of Freshers - Myself included - Feel like this. You're not alone!!
It's good that you're sticking it out and seeing how it goes. Have you tried talking to people when you go out? Introduce yourself, ask what course they're on, where they're staying etc etc. It might make you feel more at home.
Think about your interests, and try and find societies that link with this - If you like books, is there a literature society? What about outdoor sports? This way, you'll meet likeminded people.
Why did you choose the course you're on? Think about that, and it might help you find a career goal. Also, talk to your tutor when you get one and your careers office - They might have ideas you hadn't thought of that could motivate you.
However, if it really does feel like it's not for you after you've given it a go and whatever, remember there is no shame in dropping it all. You do what's best for you.
A lot of Freshers - Myself included - Feel like this. You're not alone!!
It's good that you're sticking it out and seeing how it goes. Have you tried talking to people when you go out? Introduce yourself, ask what course they're on, where they're staying etc etc. It might make you feel more at home.
Think about your interests, and try and find societies that link with this - If you like books, is there a literature society? What about outdoor sports? This way, you'll meet likeminded people.
Why did you choose the course you're on? Think about that, and it might help you find a career goal. Also, talk to your tutor when you get one and your careers office - They might have ideas you hadn't thought of that could motivate you.
However, if it really does feel like it's not for you after you've given it a go and whatever, remember there is no shame in dropping it all. You do what's best for you.
Im feeling down too, david. Its likely to be down to being my first day but I reccommend waiting a bit to see if you really don't suit the lifestyle. Im not feeling good at the moment, I dont make friends easily and never have done, but only spoke to 2/3 people now.
Ther's alot of good advice on here. I know it's easy to say 'it will get better' but that doesn't help you if you're feeling miserable. However there will be more things happening in the future as societies and sports groups get going, the regularity of the drinking (and the volume) will decrease as people start their courses. You could also find that the content of your course really starts to be stimulating as it gets going. I think you're right to give it a whirl for a bit longer and see how it develops, then re-evaluate. The university experience is very, very different to freshers week - in fact there are many that enjoy the experiemce greatly but hate freshers week. Whatever you decide to do good luck for the future.
What did you imagine it would be?
Honestly, based on what I've seen from my twin sister, my good friend and a lot of people on TSR: freshers' week is pretty much tailored to the (majority of?) students who like the idea of attending clubbing event after clubbing event and outgoing people/extroverts. My only advice is that you're going to have to stick it out for the next 12-14 days and don't get yourself too discouraged. I'm SURE there are loads of other students at your university in your very same position right now.
I've been thinking about this all evening and I've come to the decision that it's not that I'm not liking uni so far it's just that I'm not sure I should have came at this point in my life if that makes sense. I know on the whole it's a given that you go to university after finishing school or college but I have an urge to just take a break from education and get a job for a while and I think that feeling that's in the back of my mind is what's making me feel this way. I'm going to stick it out for a while, but if I start to feel like I need to get away from education for a couple of years and just think about what I want to do with my life, I might end up taking some time out and reapplying in a couple of years when I feel I'm ready to get back into it. That being said, I am studying English which is something I've always loved so the feeling may disappear once I get into that but I'm going to give it a good chance before making a decision.
It's more of a case of am I sure that this is what I want to be doing which is making me feel as if I don't want to be hear, and that's why I want to give it a chance once my course starts.
It's more of a case of am I sure that this is what I want to be doing which is making me feel as if I don't want to be hear, and that's why I want to give it a chance once my course starts.
This is going to sound like a silly question [and it is], but errm you know when you guys say "stick it out" what do you mean?
trm90
Honestly, based on what I've seen from my twin sister, my good friend and a lot of people on TSR: freshers' week is pretty much tailored to the (majority of?) students who like the idea of attending clubbing event after clubbing event and outgoing people/extroverts. My only advice is that you're going to have to stick it out for the next 12-14 days and don't get yourself too discouraged. I'm SURE there are loads of other students at your university in your very same position right now.
The thing is, I wouldn't say uni clubbing events were designed for extroverts. I'm in a way quite introvert; I like to chill, relax, play games, have quiet nights in, take my dog for walks etc but the student clubs are awesome. Pretty much everyone is out to have a great time. Alcohol definitely helps in this regard and it's nice to chill and be with friends.
Don't worry, the homesickness doesn't last forever. I was only homesick for a few days but I threw myself in to uni life and let it occupy my time so I didnt' feel it as much. I am not a big drinker and I really don't like clubbing but I went one or two nights a week to one of the bars on campus for chats, games of cards and pool etc. and a few light drinks.
If you don't want your uni experience to be all about clubbing and drinking, don't let it be! try and get involved with something you enjoy. Do you have any hobbies or anything new you would like to take up/ learn? I joined horse riding and dance clubs and plan to do fencing and archery this year as well.
Chin up and keep going! There are lots of other people who will feel the same so you are not alone.
If you don't want your uni experience to be all about clubbing and drinking, don't let it be! try and get involved with something you enjoy. Do you have any hobbies or anything new you would like to take up/ learn? I joined horse riding and dance clubs and plan to do fencing and archery this year as well.
Chin up and keep going! There are lots of other people who will feel the same so you are not alone.
no point kidding anyone, especially yourself. if you dont like it then leave. then again for the first few weeks this just doesnt apply. its a new place/experience and you have to give it a chance. after the initial few weeks/a month, then if you dont enjoy it consider your options.
im not that homesick and the whole uni lifestyle is ok. its just a v quiet campus/area in in/on, which sucks, and i dont really know anyone, which is seriously putting me down. then again ive been here for a week and im slowly getting there.
im not that homesick and the whole uni lifestyle is ok. its just a v quiet campus/area in in/on, which sucks, and i dont really know anyone, which is seriously putting me down. then again ive been here for a week and im slowly getting there.
Come on lad, cheer up. You can't expect things to be perfect from day one. I know it is hard if you're an introvert, but maybe if you step out of your comfort zone, you'll will come out of your shell a bit more.
Go to the bar and talk to some people. You don't have to drink.. Seriously you have the opportunity to meet some really decent friends, and if you say a few bad things no one will mind or remember.
Make the most of university, I would love to be going right now, but didn't get in..Appreciate what you do have.
Seriously as I have learnt from people on here, if you dont' want to get p8ssed, just don't! People should understand, just trying talking rather than drinking.
Go to the bar and talk to some people. You don't have to drink.. Seriously you have the opportunity to meet some really decent friends, and if you say a few bad things no one will mind or remember.
Make the most of university, I would love to be going right now, but didn't get in..Appreciate what you do have.
Seriously as I have learnt from people on here, if you dont' want to get p8ssed, just don't! People should understand, just trying talking rather than drinking.
David,
I know exactly how you're feeling because I was just the same a year ago (and actually, now, as well - in my second year!). I just kinda always looked forward to leaving home and having a great time, studying what I'd always enjoyed etc, but when I got here it all felt wrong. I felt like I should be at home with my family and not hundreds of miles away. My hometown is really different from the city I'm at uni in, and it took time to adjust.
I didn't have a great first year, to be honest with you. I didn't get on with my flatmates, lived 2 miles from campus, had some health issues and wanted to change course/uni. I kinda wish I had dropped out after a couple of weeks because I then had a much clearer idea of what I wanted from university, but everyone kept saying to stick it out.. so I did! I was going to leave after year 1 and start at a new uni on a new course, but then my exams went better than I thought so I decided to stay on.
I did have some fantastic times in my first year, and made some really good friends, but if I could go back to a year ago I'm not sure I would stay :s
My advice is to give it freshers week plus two weeks of lectures, then decide how you're feeling. You might still not feel totally settled, but you should have a better idea of whether it all feels right. If it does, which it probably will, that's great... but if it doesn't remember that there's no shame in leaving if you feel it is the right thing to do.
Let us know what you decide
I know exactly how you're feeling because I was just the same a year ago (and actually, now, as well - in my second year!). I just kinda always looked forward to leaving home and having a great time, studying what I'd always enjoyed etc, but when I got here it all felt wrong. I felt like I should be at home with my family and not hundreds of miles away. My hometown is really different from the city I'm at uni in, and it took time to adjust.
I didn't have a great first year, to be honest with you. I didn't get on with my flatmates, lived 2 miles from campus, had some health issues and wanted to change course/uni. I kinda wish I had dropped out after a couple of weeks because I then had a much clearer idea of what I wanted from university, but everyone kept saying to stick it out.. so I did! I was going to leave after year 1 and start at a new uni on a new course, but then my exams went better than I thought so I decided to stay on.
I did have some fantastic times in my first year, and made some really good friends, but if I could go back to a year ago I'm not sure I would stay :s
My advice is to give it freshers week plus two weeks of lectures, then decide how you're feeling. You might still not feel totally settled, but you should have a better idea of whether it all feels right. If it does, which it probably will, that's great... but if it doesn't remember that there's no shame in leaving if you feel it is the right thing to do.
Let us know what you decide
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