Christmas was ****

The police came because you weren't eating enough?

Bad luck, hopefully your new year will be better.
When I lived with my parents almost every Christmas was awful.

Last year was dead as well but things actually lost control this year

I will be alone this New Year, just any regular day, maybe have a lie in, treat myself to a nice breakfast and log on to The Student Rooms. By noon I will start to get peckish where I will begin the lengthy internal battle of do I order a Papa Johns as a little festive treat. Sometimes its hard to find the best at things. Treat yourself and try to forget the rest for sometime.

Peace

ah sorry to hear mate, but I hope your family life gets better soon.

We had family problems over yesterday and its ruined Christmas. It was just arguments and stuff it could have gone physical if things didn't calm down. It was pretty bad, the police came to visit this morning and they have visited before. I feel lonely and that I have no one to talk to obviously I can't talk to family since we've had this happen and my mates aren't really there anymore.

What happened was basically we were eating christmas dinner together and it all started from that. My mum started moaning about us not eating enough, I don’t know about others but I was full then it started from people being full our mum was just complaining its a waste of food and money etc so it just caused arguments. Like we are full that's it, a normal parent would leave it at that but no my mum moaned then it caused this. A normal family spends Christmas together in the living room with everyone round but not my family my family can't even sit and have Christmas dinner.

You should have just told the food nazi to not be so manipulative. Whats wrong with having the food that wasn't eaten, the day after and then the day after that, like the rest of people.

We had family problems over yesterday and its ruined Christmas. It was just arguments and stuff it could have gone physical if things didn't calm down. It was pretty bad, the police came to visit this morning and they have visited before. I feel lonely and that I have no one to talk to obviously I can't talk to family since we've had this happen and my mates aren't really there anymore.

What happened was basically we were eating christmas dinner together and it all started from that. My mum started moaning about us not eating enough, I don’t know about others but I was full then it started from people being full our mum was just complaining its a waste of food and money etc so it just caused arguments. Like we are full that's it, a normal parent would leave it at that but no my mum moaned then it caused this. A normal family spends Christmas together in the living room with everyone round but not my family my family can't even sit and have Christmas dinner.

I'm sorry that things went badly this year,

I've been waiting for a thread like this so I could share my insight.

I have a similar situation to you, I live with my family because I chose to remain in education rather than getting a job out of high school, bad move on my part I suppose, anyways every Christmas is the same, bad to say the least, we can't have a day together without it ending in a fight.

What I did is understand that I can't change how others act but I can change my perspective, so I didn't have any expectations this year, ordered my own gifts and my parents paid for them (tbh not complaining, I'm old enough to buy things for myself it's just that since my full-time job is being a student and I also look after their children when they work I don't have the time to get a job so I can't afford to buy myself whatever I want whenever I want it like others my age can, not really complaining just as a background)

I only got like 4 or 5 things but they were things I needed like body sprays, new earphones, and a new phone case. I didn't have any expectations and honestly was quite depressed this year due to other factors in my personal life such as losing a loved one due to a breakup etc.

But yesterday was the best Christmas I've had at my parents' house, it was probably like a normal day at another person's house rather than Christmas but at least there were no arguments or tears. Next year if the pandemic is over I'm planning on having a Christmas party away from my parents' house so I'll probably have a good time then.

Unfortunately, you can't choose your family and as you get older the holidays become more stressful but the best thing to do is manage your own expectations, I have friends who got thousands of pounds worth of gifts from their families because they have gifts from extended family, I only have my household because they don't talk to their families and my gifts were probably around £80-100. It doesn't bug me anymore because I know there is an end to it eventually, in that as you get older you get more freedom from family.

Whilst it's huge stress now, as you become an adult and either get a job and eventually move out or go to university and get a dorm, you'll only have to see family during holidays if you want to, you can set boundaries and if they break them then just spend the holidays with your friends.

For now, just count the years as each holiday season passes and think of it as one step closer to being able to have more freedom and choice over how you spend not only your life but also who you spend your Christmas with.

Having a family you don't get on with is one of the hardest things when you live at home because you can't get away and not many of your friends will get it but take it from someone who has been there as you get older it does get easier, if not just because you have more freedom.

Really even if you live at home and get a job that allows you to work over the holidays, I'd get that extra cash and work during Christmas if I can. that's what I'll do when I get a job once I've finished studying.

Not many people on this website or in general will understand what it's like to dread the holidays but there are those of us out there that do understand because we've been there too.

Do you want to talk about stuff privately on Instagram or something if you are my age?