Plucking Serene Dreams From Golden Trees. [Blog]

Is it super annoying?

Well I've had about 4 usernames, one per year. A username change is due soon...



And I am jealous right now of that! Was it soft and sweet and too deserving of a tasty treat??

I eat swears and sprinkle them on my toast. Come on then, golden lord. Blow me up with the f bomb.

When will you be able to change it (if you do)? I just know you already have the date.

It was exactly the fix I needed, but I wouldn't be buying it again because a stingy amount of frosting. You like frosting too, right?

silly sailor

Can I also make a baked good enquiry here please? I know there is a UK supermarket that does a fcuking spectacular madeira cake but I had it so long ago I don't know which. I sampled a sainsbury's madeira last week and it was really subpar, to think I spent my money on that made me brood all night under the moonlight, I've never looked more vampire. So I'm thinking this sexy, plump and joosy-taste madeira may actually be from tesco. May I ask if you have ever daintily plucked it off the shelf and gob-sliced it before??

Many thanks for your reply

Lord Ocean.

very i hate it

people are super happy
super tired
super excited
super mad

think of another word to use

I was able to change it in July, so I can now switch at any moment


That's a legal reason to not buy it again, whoever slacks on the frost is to the depths of hell lost.

Hi Lord Ocean,

I wanted you to know I skipped all the 500 emails in my inbox to reply to yours because it's amazing to finally meet another madeira cake fan. I remember eating it a lot growing up whenever I would go to my aunt's house because it's soooo good, especially with milk. I don't know where she buys hers from, but I am 99% sure I have had Asda's and it's pretty good. Not sure about Tesco. Sadly I could not solve this mystery for you, but trial and error it will be for now, but an investigation well worth the result. ; ) Let us know what you find out.


Demon Bee

All bravado, I knew it. That's why golden demon is in the highest circles of hell, nearer heaven and shunned by the true demons of the lower spheres.

Yesssss let it all out, Goldie. We should be irritated by people more often.

ok then
celtic the prat




sorry you made me say it

I’m afraid you’re disqualified. I’m looking at my swearbook here and prat is too mild to be in it. Sorry, golden lord. Maybe you can reenter next year, yes? : ((

maybe this

do you agree @Serene Dreams

OK, I will investigate a tesco madeira this week and publish my research findings in this madeira safe space.

I went into tesco express today and there was no madeira but instead they had some sh!tty walnut version and another one that had so many colours it looked like a clown.

My flatmate's boyfriend (you know the one) just came into the flat, knocked on my bedroom door and scared the life out of me when I opened it because he had a clown mask on. Coincidenceenergy much?

The walnut version which also had some kind of cream filling in it? I do love walnuts. 😋 Have you had that one before? I think the one you had may have been from Asda. Did you eat it at work or at a party?

It looked like it has cream, yes, but I didn’t pay too much attention to it because when one is searching for madeira all else is a disappointment. Erm, I had it at home I think. Definitely not work or party.

Hey! Omg what have you been up to? You must tell us everything about how you spent your time in exile.

Oh no, I hope you were able to enjoy a slice of lemon drizzle at least. If you had it at home - send a text the family group chat? This is an urgent matter and we must simply solve it.