Is this a good answer for AWA question 5 paper 1 and how can I make it better?

A new day began with the sunrise which created a vibrant glow. The Sun bloomed onto the horizon- gold petals stretched into the baby blue sky sending out its invitation to welcome a new day. Glimmers of warmth ignited the birds to sing their sweet melodies sending serenity into the land and its streaks of gold coated the forest floor. Twinkling lights shone through the swaying trees and bejewelled the sweet forest waterfall. She gazed at the soothing sapphire stream as it splashed petite pebbles whilst they swerved through dozens of evergreen trees.

The willow tree stood as the guardian of the forest. It protected all of its surroundings, protecting all kinds of creatures and beings that stepped foot in the forest- including her. A gentle breeze graced her ginger locks and made the weeping willow sway. Her emerald eyes gazed at the tree; it made her believe she would be safe forever.

She had visited dozens of forests before; this one felt different. This forest made her believe that time truly flies away. She spent countless hours connecting to the ethereal aura of this enchanted forest. She wondered to herself, why would anyone want to leave?

These countless hours that she had spent and the fact she believed that she could stay there for eternity gave her a rude awakening when the dark stormy weather wrapped the forest up as if it were as a gothic birthday present.

The metamorphosis of the place she had just grown to love spread a chill down her spine. She became engulfed by the deep charcoal haze surrounding her. Murders of crows flew over her head and malevolently stared from the towering trees which stood like noble dark knights. Nocturnal ghosts state as she stumbles forward. The bewitching forest floor seemed to be shifting with every step she took. Enormous fear overcome her and transformed her intellectual mind into a useless blunt weapon. Only one though flooded her mind: how would she escape? What way would she go? Where would she even go?!

Left or right?

She believed that the crows ridiculed her by flying with perfect orientation. She desperately tried to find her way out of the woods. She has had to face many challenges in her life, but none was quite like this. All of the pathways were encapsulated in fog. It made her believe that the pathways wasn’t just hard to find; they were gone. Desperately, she was trying her scanning her surroundings for any escape but she was overcome with a sense of hopelessness- her hope had been obliterated into hundreds of fragile yet sharp pieces.

The repugnant truth that she was stuck in a gloomy wood slowly sunk in. Golden petals of sunlight had gone. Whilst she glared around her she started to see silhouettes in the mist. Silhouettes so goulish she wished that she was back in complete darkness.


“I’m here” a hushed voice whispered.