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Potentially raped?

I was in a club abroad with my friends and we all went off with guys we met at the club (different hotels). i went back to his place and said he should get a condom and he pretended to find one but said he couldn’t so i asked him to pull out. This was my first time so i was already uneasy and it hurt sm but he was quite angry so didn’t want to say no or stop because i was scared, so i technically never said no but it was a horrible experience and i got up and left but i clearly was in distress. I don’t know if this is rape or not but it’s scarred me and makes me feel disgusting and ashamed that being the way i lost my virginity

Reply 1

londonmyst

Did he lie about using a condom? :confused:

Or wear one at the start then take it off without asking you if you were willing to have sex without him using one?

You made it crystal clear that your consent to sex was conditional upon him using a condom during sex.
As soon as you told him to pull out, you ended your sexual consent.
All further intimate sexual activity after that occurred without your consent is illegal.

Reply 2

black tea

Did he pull out when you asked him to?

Reply 3

Surnia

It depends on the country you are in; rape laws are based either on a lack of consent or the presence of coercion, and not everywhere specifically covers no condom, or stealthing, as an offence. You can report it to the police, but be aware that it may not be classed as rape in that place, it may not be taken seriously depending on how you recount it, there is the language barrier etc.

Certainly, you should tell your friends and whoever else you feel you can trust to support you through this. Make sure you are tested for pregnancy and STIs, and speak to someone about counselling.