lonely on gap yr

It’s okay to feel lost sometimes, but remember good things take time. Sometimes you’ve got to trust the process and be confident that everything will work out for u in the end, because everyone advances in life at their own pace and just because you feel like you’re lagging behind now doesn’t mean you’re in a bad situation. Wishing u all the best

It’s okay to feel lost sometimes, but remember good things take time. Sometimes you’ve got to trust the process and be confident that everything will work out for u in the end, because everyone advances in life at their own pace and just because you feel like you’re lagging behind now doesn’t mean you’re in a bad situation. Wishing u all the best

I've also been finding out this year that not all gap years go to plan! I'm travelling but have ended up in quite an unhappy spot, so I'm coming home for a bit to regroup. I feel lost and lonely, and like I've messed up by taking a gap year. But I've still learnt a lot from the experience, even though it hasn't gone how I thought it would! Maybe try to think of a couple of things that this year has given you, whether it be new interests or motivation to change your situation or a realisation of what doesn't tick your boxes. I've also found that looking to the future and making progressive plans is a good way to not dwell in the unpleasant past or present. Maybe university isn't for you, maybe it is, but whatever you feel I would recommend spending some time thinking about what does interest you and putting together a little plan for when your gap year does 'end'. I think changing your situation/environment is the best way to pull yourself out of the limbo! And it makes for an excellent distraction from your current feelings.

I completely agree with the above, go with where you're lead. For example, maybe you'll see a posting for a project somewhere online or on a random leaflet in the library and maybe that would turn out to be a path you want to take instead of going to uni. Or maybe you'd just do it for the short term and still to go to uni - but if you don't enjoy the first few weeks of the degree then you could talk to your personal tutor and ask about transferring to another course (they should be quite receptive since you'd already be enrolled as a student and it would still be very early in the course).

But yeah I've been meandering through from age 19-24 and really enjoyed some aspects of my gap year, placement year and uni experience - others were awful but they taught me what to avoid in my future endeavours. And if you do go to uni and you're feeling unsure about the future then, take your time with your degree like I did - apply to study abroad or do a placement year in-between if that's an option because that will give you more time to figure out what you like and would be an opportunity to travel since you mentioned being unable to now. Keep an eye out for emails about bursaries and grants because your uni will likely offer opportunities to do research, attend events, get internships and travel (I know for my uni that a lot of people ignore their emails or these things aren't well advertised, so if you're one of the few people who are in the know then you'd be very likely to get it).

So yeah, I'd say don't worry about not having it all figured out and just think about what you enjoy and do more of it. You don't have to work in a field related to your degree as well because many jobs out there will accept any degree. For example, I had no clue what job I wanted after graduation but one day I clocked that I listen to wayyy more podcasts and documentaries about financial crime than the average person does hahaha. So I looked at job postings related to the fraud investigation and auditing field and realised that I could really see myself enjoying that.

You've got this! Whatever happens for the rest of you gap year, even if you're based at home, is still gonna be formative for you going forwards. I wish you the best 💜💜

Aww that's a shame about the travelling. I did mention in my original post that I wouldn't be able to go mainly because of my overprotective parents. I also don't have a lot of money saved up so I guess I'll travel with a group sometime in the future. My "plan" for now is to just go to university. I ended up applying to a few apprenticeships and I've had at least two rejections (which I'm assuming is because I slightly missed the grades they were looking for). I've always felt like a loser deep down and especially now because I'm not doing a STEM degree or moving out for uni so I'll probs see a lot of people from sixth form but oh well. I am glad I was able to get a job because it's taught me that communication is super important no matter what sort of job you end up going into. I'm also hopefully going to start talking therapy in person for my anxiety so I really want it to work- I've been placed on a waiting list which isn't too long thankfully. I need to stop thinking about what others think of me, and worrying if I come across as stupid you know? I got into a Russell Group doing a course that I know I'll love so I just need to brace the last five months or so. I hope you end up feeling better and thank you for your reassuring words <3

Thank you so much! And not having to get a job directly related to my degree does comfort me. One of my brothers studied biomed and he now has a job in accountancy so you can really do anything you put your mind to it.

i relate to this - I'm on a gap year at the moment and really excited about going to uni in September, but I feel like I'm just doing nothing at the moment. I've applied to so many jobs but none of them are the right thing, and although I fortunately have enough money to go travelling I have no one to go with. Gap years generally are hard, and I have no idea what I'm going to do for the next five months until I go to uni.

Yep, the same boat just without the money to travel. I’m counting down the days too. I’ve found that finding a sport you can practice/play on your own gives you a purpose.

Hey, perhaps if you have the funds to travel you could go travelling in a group if you're worried about going alone? I've seen quite a few companies that offer this opportunity- a bunch of people roughly the same age as you (usually like 18-24) can go together and visit different countries. I always thought I was too introverted to do that but maybe it would be something good for you? As for the seemingly never ending amount of time between now and September I really feel for you. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to apart from uni and it's something I feel a lil sad about- what if when uni finally does start I end up hating it? What if I actually did choose the wrong course? I definitely underrated how hard a gap year would be and this is coming from someone who thought she would be fine on her own. I miss my friends, but no longer feel any incentive to see them/talk to them. I miss the person I used to be for I've become distant from pretty much everyone. I hope things get better for you- i'll be starting CBT in the next two weeks so I'm hoping it'll help me realise that no, the whole world doesn't hate me. I just hate myself.

I'd say maybe pick up an old hobby you used to enjoy. For me, one of those is reading and it's been helping me feel less alone as reading tends to be something you do solo. Best of luck with everything

I'm pretty much exactly the same, I feel like I'm isolating myself and I don't really have any motivation to change it. If I didn't have a job idk what I'd be doing right now. It's weird living in limbo for a year

really hoping it'll get better for you <3